Is there a way to know if someone is gay or straight if you have doubts and they deny

[breathe123]

I didn't know where to put this post, can be moved : [

Outside of seeing them kissing or having sex, any ideas? I like someone but he gives off some gay vibes and might be closeted, but still dates women. I asked reservedly and they denied but denied in a over reacting reply.

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I hope by my next visit here someone replies to my thread.

[nico88]

If they are not comfortable with their sexuality yet or they aren't ready to "come out" then there's honestly no way of really knowing.

[lovebroken]

Do you want to know because you don't want to be lead on by this person or other reasons, breathe123? I think if you feel they could be and you don't get that feeling off alot of your other male friends or men you have dated or want to date, kiss then maybe it is your intuition trying to tell you the truth. Did he get upset because he was offended, embarrassed or why? If a guy asked me ' are you a lesbian ' or thought I might be I wouldn't get upset, I would say no, what caused you to think I was? and then have a discussion, I would not get upset at them. His reaction could be a clue too. If he is then he shouldn't play women , especially women he can tell like him. Other than that IDK.

[breathe123]

Much thanks for answering my question, nico88 and lovebroken.

I didn't know where to place my thread because I am not in love with this person, only attracted to him and we have never dated, mainly for the fact I question his sexuality a lot. So much I asked him if he was and the response was unexpected, almost like he is unaware of how he acts. He denied, but if being closeted he would deny, correct?

I don't want to go into something serious with a person who is deceiving me from the start on how he feels and who he is. I don't care if he is gay would be happy to be friends but he is asking for us to date or has asked. he said it was disrespect for me to ask such a question, that was why he claimed it upset him. I have asked two others and one thinks he definitely is but she said he is too perfect not to be???? that to me isn't real proof, ridiculous. Another said no, he is just peculiar.

Much thanks again.

[somehelp4me]

Not really - like nico told you if he went this long hiding it and even his family or close friends weren't told he isn't going to casually admit if he is to you.
You could look at his mannerisms, his dating history, how intimate or comfortable being intimate with you or other women he is, things like that.
He could just be metro-sexual, timid, or a mamas boy, not gay at all.

[breathe123]

Yes, somehelp4me he is very much a mama's boy as well but I still believe gay too. His mannerisms back up my thoughts on his sexuality and why did he get so upset but still pursue me? The lies and faking bother me the most and he knows what I think now, if he admitted the truth I would not break his trust.

Thank you for your reply.

[somehelp4me]

You obviously like him and this is why not knowing from him directly if he is or isn't bothers you so much.
If he wouldn't say when you in his face asked him, he won't ever tell you what you need to know.
One day if he is it will be known by many and you'll get wind of it too, if you have doubts don't go out with him.

[breathe123]

I do, but I don't like the deceitfulness & he is persistent, why is that? He was so displeased at my asking yet he keeps asking, and I think he wants to have sex. I said "just friends" to him & that is it for me because I can't stand this hanging over everything. I was hoping another female went through this and had concerns as me and had the person deny only for their initial thoughts to be true and what things made them think their guy might have been hiding his sexuality.

[michelle23]

If you suspect hes gay then follow your gut and stay away from him. You don't want to be his cover up. Women put through that end up suicidal after wasting so much time with the wrong man and there whole relationship being based on a lie.

Why are you still bothering with him when you think hes gay. Abd how do you find that attractive?

[breathe123]

Thank you, michelle23. It's true I don't want to be his fake girlfriend for show or deception. He got angry I even asked, does he not know how he acts that myself or others think this and then why continue asking me out after I asked him that? No, I won't date him because I don't know if he is or isn't and I feel he is.

I am only being his friend, we were friendly before this, then he wanted more. I have told him no and just friends.

I don't find the idea of dating him if he is gay attractive at all. I find him attractive though, looks, he is smart, educated, dresses nice if I didn't wonder about his sexuality I would date him or go out in a dating way to see if it would work. I think he will move on to others in my friends circle, and they will date him, but I don't know if I should spread my concerns or not.