I cheated

[Kurdt88]

Hi Everyone. First off I know I am a terrible person, I feel it.

I just need some advice. I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years and it's been the only relationship I've known. I love her to pieces, we have just moved in together and I plan to propose and start a family soon.
However I cheated recently, not the first time. I have never had 'sex' with anyone else but I have engaged in sexual acts with a particular girl 3 or 4 times now. And every time I promise myself it won't happen again. I am not going to justify myself, I am not going to say I didn't have a choice, I did and I chose to cheat.

In my warped view of things I saw it as "I want to be with my girlfriend forever and before I settle down get it (cheating) out the way" I know that's selfish and stupid but that's how i saw it.
I really don't want it to happen again, and now we are loving togther I don't think it will or could but the guilt of Doing it is eating at me. If I were to tell her she would leave me and I would be throwing the last 9 years away.

My girlfriend slept with another guy about 5 years ago, we broke up and I forgave her and took her back. This may be a reason I haven't stopped myself being unfaithful, I don't know

Any help, suggestions would be appreciated

Kurdt

[TablesandChairs]

Bad place to be in. Watch some porn next time.

[woody]

The justification your offering yourself due to her past little escapade is a fairly poor and false reason to cheat on her now.

Hey, if it's in you to do, it is. You can either risk a fall out by telling her the truth or keep it to yourself and have it eat away at you. She will eventually find out. They usually do and if she can't prove it, she will sense it and it will eat at her. Not a very nice thing.
The truth can set you free. You took her back. Perhaps she will take you back too.
Meanwhile, keep it in your pants. There will always be other people one finds interesting or sexually attractive. Always. But in my opinion, when the love is as strong as it should be, nothing can justify cheating on our loved ones but most importantly, when that love is so strong, we don't even notice other people let alone allow their propositions to reach fruition.

I know you know you made a mistake. Several times. Yet you claim you truly love your lady and just wanted a last fling before settling down. So what about next time? What's the excuse going to be then? would you like it if she cheated on you with those excuses?
Hey I'm sorry if I'm coming across as rather gruff here but I find lies and infidelity two of the worst things one can do to their s.o. There is no coming back from lies like this.
If my man cheated on me and then told me everything with no lies, I might forgive him. BUT, if he lied and lied and waited and then lied some more and then I found out, that would be it. No coming back from that. At least if he told me straight away, I might be able to trust him again because he took a great risk in telling the truth but I would respect him for that; having the balls to own up.

Yet if he lied after the fact continuously, it would prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that not only is he a cheater but a spineless one at that and that would be the end of it.

[craigieboy001]

if you are cheating on your girlfriend then you are in the wrong relationship, i wouldn't dream of cheating on my girl as i love her too much and value what we have.

my suggestion? if you want to continue being unfaithful then split up with her so you can do as you please, the chances are she might find out as some point and that would destroy her.

man up and do the right thing

[michelle23]

Tell the truth. She told you when she did it. You owe her honesty. If your cheating then its true you are likely with the wrong person as you should have more respect for her and more empathy for her feelings. You also should have more integrity

Come clean now as you cannot start a family or a marriage on a lie

[Wakeup]

Just what do you expect to hear from the folks on this forum board by confessing your poor sense of integrity and your lack of personal boundaries.

We're not priests. I suggest you confess to a priest or get the ballzz to confess to the person you're betraying and let the chips fall where they may. Hey, if she breaks up with you then you're free to get jiggy with the cow the plays with you knowing you're in a relationship... she DOES know you're in a relationship, right? Tell us you're not that much of a douche-nozzle by lying to her too.