Questions about privacy/openess in relationships and the internet

[silentdivide]

Topic was removed by the user.

[TheEvilJester]

...Okay then. I guess you were so concerned with privacy on the Internet that you decided to remove this topic completely. :-P

[silentdivide]

No, you're right. I felt horrible for writing it and took it down. Essentially what happened is I kinda blew up at partner and now ex-gf. I had been so paranoid and anxious regarding her online behaviors past and present that it consumed me to the point of panic. I just got back from a 5 week trip and have been messed up with jetlag and feeling sick, too. She had a Tumblr account that she gave me the link to about a month or so into our relationship. Its a public account. She had nudes and semi-nude photos, other provocative and sexually suggestive stuff on there. She had numerous posts with details about past lovers and specific sex acts posted on there that I read and I tried to convince myself that I am liberal enough that they didn't bother me...but in fact it really did. She frequently wanted attention and propositioned sex in previous posts. I realize that this was prior to our relationship starting (although some weird stuff was posted while we were first starting to date--about wanting to lick some guy and others) it didn't change the fact that it hurt me deeply. I know I was jealous, insecure, and judging her, but I really love(d) her and it made me uncomfortable and in pain; there are just explicit details that I didn't ask to see/read. What I was asking in the initial post is if anyone has ever experienced this before because I haven't and what you would think of it? A dealbreaker?

[TablesandChairs]

Dealbreaker. Well, actually - it depends.

This is the kind of girl that a guy would be okay with if he wasn't after something exclusive or was open to the idea of 'sharing' his partner...doesn't sound like she's the loyal kind.

[silentdivide]

Thanks for your input, Tablesandchairs. That's the thing, I wasn't bothered by it at first, really, but as we became closer and she has been more involved with my family and hard-pressing me about moving in together, marriage, and kids I've been panicking more often because of the sideshow aspect of it. I also posted this on another forum and forgot to mention on this one about her poly past, which has bothered me, too. It apparently lead to the ending of her marriage. However, she asserts that she wanted to be monogamous with me, but I feel like that's something that doesn't just change in a year or two.... Or even ever...