He's not seeing me for a week because I'm going out with a girlfriend

[char12]

y boyfriend doesn't like my best friend. Every time i've gone out with her he kicks off about something. He'll pick on what I wear, where I go and even criticize the music we listen to.. he even says I'm a "horrible, different person" around her. I've asked him what's so horrible about me and he can't pick an example, and from what I can tell, the difference is because we talk about girly things. He says that's "not me". I'll admit I'm not really a clubbing girl who listens to pop style music but it's just a bit of light hearted fun every blue moon for me. I've even said he can come with us and every time he's managed to kick off then too, he'll usually storm off home at some point and say nasty things.

I don't go out with my friend much anymore, probably once every 2 months and dread her asking really. I usually see my boyfriend for a week at a time (because of complicated train fares, e.g from his home he can get a weekly pass for £24 and coming to me he has to pay a lot more every night, so if he see's me he makes it last the week). He was coming up with a friend on Monday and they both stayed at mine and spent the whole day together on Tuesday and stayed at mine again. My friend asked to go out last week so because I knew that he was definitely coming up Monday and Tuesday I just (not thinking) picked Wednesday to go out, as it's also my day off uni too. I told him quite late last night (again, not thinking) as I was trying to avoid an argument. He had a go at me saying I should have told him earlier and he would have gone home with his friend (although I was free that night to see him..) and picked Monday/tuesday to go out as he was seeing his friend and that he's not coming up the rest of the week now because he's spending too much money to see me anyway (although he was going to spend it at the start of the week..and going home for one day and coming up the following thursday would actually have been cheaper). He says he's paying too much for me to just see him and not see him when I want.

I don't even want to go out anymore. After all the arguing it always sucks the fun out of it for me. I feel like he passively punishes me whenever I see her but I also think some of his points make sense. Am I in the wrong here?

[Wakeup]

Don't let him abuse you the way he is TRYING to do and instead you take back your personal power and you tell him that you don't want him to come up if he's going to act like a controlling, abusive little boy who punishes you for having a bit of fun with your friend.

How long have you dated this guy. What he is doing to you is the first sign of an abuser. Isolating you and trying to turn you off your friends is NOT what a good man does.

What other red flags has he shown you that you're not picking up on that will eventually whittle away at your self-worth?

[TablesandChairs]

She's your friend! Why shouldn't you kick back and catch up every so often? Well, the reason is because he wants your friendless and isolated with only him as your social contact. Sound controlling? It is. Abuse comes in many forms; just because he isn't punching you in the face doesn't mean he's not abusive; you can't even go out every blue moon without him ruining it for you. It's not you, it's not your friend - it's him.