Boyfriend Would Rather Masturbate Than Have Sex

[montanamommy]

This is incredibly awkward to talk about, but I need guys' advice. Or ANYONE'S advice...

My boyfriend and I have known each other for over 20 years, been friends for lots of years, and finally started dating in early 2014. Anyway, at the beginning of our relationship, he ALWAYS wanted to have sex. Like, whenever we were alone, he would be all over me. Or we'd even be out driving in the countryside, and we'd pull over and have sex. It was great!!

But anymore, our sex life has become nearly non-existent.

Here's some details:
1. He is a Marine, so while on deployments or based, he is used to only having porno to watch
2. In early July, I had a miscarriage which was his child. I was only about 3 weeks along.
3. He is not cheating on me, that I am 100,000% sure of
4. He recently got promoted and is going through the phases of the background check, which has been stressing him out.

I know that sometimes stress can cause a man to lose his libido temporarily, but I don't see why he'd still have the urges then to sneak off and masturbate. He goes to the bathroom to do it, and runs the shower so that I'll think he's taking a shower. Really though, I know what he's doing. One day, he had taken a shower early in the morning when we woke up, and then around noon, he hopped back upstairs to take another shower. Since we hadn't been having sex often at all (about 2 times a week), I admit, I peeked under the door to confirm my suspicions. Sure enough, you could see what he was doing. I didn't watch, but I saw enough to know that I was right that he was sneaking up there to jerk off, when I'm willing to have sex with him anytime he wants.

I'm not fat, I haven't gained weight... My boobs aren't as big as they used to be, as I breast-fed my daughter (that was 7 years ago though). He likes big boobs, and that's the kind of porn he prefers. I've wanted breast implants for a long time, and he wants me to get them asap. He even did research online to help me find a plastic surgeon...I wasn't offended at all, since we both mutually want me to get the surgery. However, I'm wondering if my body type is what's suddenly making him not want to have sex with me? But then again, my boobs have been the same since we started dating, so I don't know why that would all-the-sudden be an issue.

We have a wonderful, loving relationship otherwise that is mutually satisfying and we get along great and have lots of fun together. I feel like crap, though. I feel very unattractive, and i can never live-up to the porno girls...nor do I particularly want to. Even when I initiate sex, he claims that he's too tired. It's heartbreaking. We have amazing sex, so I don't know what to do here.

I have confronted him about this, but he just lies and denies it. He tells me he's attracted to me and to "stop jumping to conclusions every time I go to the bathroom". But I know what I saw...

[Wakeup]

Good lord. You don't seriously think he's jerking himself off because you don't have big enough boobs do you?

[pcmaster]

Maybe watch movie Don Jon. Then you will understand why guys sometimes prefer masturbation.

[montanamommy]

I've seen it, but I seriously don't get it still...why would he have previously wanted to have sex with me so often, and then now...it's nearly never?

- - - Updated - - -

Yes, sometimes I think that. My self-esteem isn't the highest when it comes to my boobs. haha

[Wakeup]

Because it often a lot of work to get a gal off and if he just wants to get it out and over with, then doing yourself is the best way to get that done.

Your B(o)(o)bs have absolutely nothing to do with why he masturbates. NOTHING.... and if you really want to not mind **** yourself you better get over your low self-esteem in general because when he continues to choke the chicken after you get your plastics put in, you're going to mind-fvck your own self by thinking you're totally not good enough if he's still doing it when "I have these puppies."

You having nothing to do with his desire to please himself. Nothing.

Most people have been rubbing one out since they were pre-pubescent. Even if you screwed him three times a day he'd likely still masturbate.

[TablesandChairs]

Honestly, the fact that he's insisting you get a boob job is pretty shitty. We're talking major surgery with risk of complications, compounded by recent findings which suggest the most popular form of implant is a breast cancer contributor. They're only guaranteed for approx. 8-10 years, after which they tend to need replacing.

If this is a major source of insecurity for you - then okay. If you're thinking it's going to stop him from jerking off, you're mistaken - the novelty will wear off within weeks or months.