Lied about having a girlfriend and feel trapped

[TheLongWalk]

There's a social group I'm part of and have been fairly close to the people who organize it for some time now. Last week the main person who runs it was making small talk after the meeting ended, and jokingly asked about a girlfriend. They said "Why are you in such a hurry? On the way to see your girlfriend?" I dodged around it, and they asked again in a curious/serious way. I said yes, and started naming details. The thing is I've been single for about a month, and the girl I spoke details of was one from my class who likes me that I also like, but never officially went out with. I got caught off guard with the question, blurted it out without thinking, was at the risk of feeling insecure as there were a few people listening to the conversation, and immediately regretted what I said afterward.

I hoped that brief mention would be the end of it, but this person has asked about the girlfriend a couple times since. As they continue asking, I have to keep naming details, and the more I do that the more I worry. The details I've said to them are true, but feel like I'm digging myself deeper like it'll eventually get to a point I'll have to provide some kind of proof to this person. At this point I feel I'll have to keep this up until after the holidays because it will sound like something bad happened if I say I'm not seeing anyone before the holidays are over.

There's a girl I've always liked that’s in this group, she has been taken for some time now, but always appeared to like me. She heard the girlfriend thing and has seemed more attracted, not only that but one of her older friends seems to be looking at me differently. Suddenly I'm seen as more desirable to them and don't want to shatter that.

There's no way I can change the subject if this person asks me anything about a girlfriend. The only time to really talk at this place is before meetings, and if something like that is brought up I'll have to acknowledge it then because chances are you won't get a chance to talk later. Also since I've already said details when they asked before, and it'll look suspicious if I change the subject.

I'm worried about even going to future meetings because of what I might be asked about this.

How can I tell the person who's been asking that I'm not in a relationship without sounding like I was dumped?

[pcmaster]

Just say that you made her up. Say you dumped her because she wasnt real lol. Really just say you made her up in a hurry so they would fck off you finally.

[TheEvilJester]

Okay, so I know this doesn't exactly help now, but I can't help but wonder why the heck you lied in the first place. That just has me puzzled. At this point, I don't see how you could reveal that you lied without sounding bizarre. At the same time, you really shouldn't just continue the lie. So, maybe here is what you do....

Maybe the next time he asks you about this fictitious girlfriend (hopefully in the group so everybody can hear) just say something like "Oh, that didn't work out." If he or anybody else presses for details just say "I don't really want to go into detail, it just didn't work out." Technically, that wouldn't even be a lie. They don't have to know it "didn't work out" because you never actually asked her out.

For future reference, though, just don't lie. LOL! Especially when it comes to something like that. Why should anybody care if you do or don't have a girlfriend? I don't see why you couldn't have just said "No, I don't have a girlfriend." There is no shame in that. Sometimes you find yourself without a relationship. It's not like that means something is wrong with you.

[Wakeup]

Agree with Jester:

... and adding: You don't seem "more desirable" to them, you seem more "safe" to them because you're already taken so they have let down some of their boundaries to be more open to you.

Your lie is silly and immature. If after the holidays they bring it up again just say you are no longer together (another lie but at this point who gives an eff) then you'll have a clean slate. Keep it clean and don't keep being a liar just to save face... that's lame.

Merry Christmas.

- - - Updated - - -

P.S. In future when people are being overly nosey about your private life instead of lying just simply change the subject in a smooth way.

e.g. If you feel you need to answer at all (you do not) do it something like this:

Them: Whats the hurry are you on your way to your girlfriend?

You: *laughs* No but I am on my way to do something *said with a wink*

Or:

You: That's for me to know and for you to find out *said with a wink*

[smackie9]

Next time they ask, just tell them there is nothing to talk about. If they pry any further on it, just tell them again there is nothing to talk about, it wasn't that serious. And leave it.

I have a feeling they ask so many questions about this GF is because they probably know she doesn't exist and in good humor they are playing along.

[TheLongWalk]

Thanks for all of the answers everyone, they really helped. This group is organizing a Christmas party that's Friday, and we have a meeting on the 24th as well. I really hope no one asks me anything, but if they do I'll have to keep up the lie. Then after the holidays finally get the monkey off my back, and say were no longer going out. Just want this to be over, I really want this person to stop asking me about it.

[Wakeup]

I really want this person to stop asking me about it.

Then make it so by telling them that they are being too interested in your romantic life... say it like a joke that will get the point across in a non-threatening or defensive evoking way. There is no reason for you to have to answer questions you're not comfortable answering.

[TheEvilJester]

Them: Whats the hurry are you on your way to your girlfriend?

You: *laughs* No but I am on my way to do something *said with a wink*

Or:

You: That's for me to know and for you to find out *said with a wink*

Ooo! This is fun! I wanna try.

You: Yes, in fact I am, and I'll tell your mom you said hi. :-)