Ahh, did I just rebound?

[Katini]

Hey all.

So I dunno if anybody remembers my breakup story (post about four weeks ago---"why can't we be friends" also covers it). Anyway, since then I have quite well gotten over my ex, although there's still hurt that I suppose I can expect. And of course, not like I planned, I don't think I can EVER be friends with him. Not a chance, at least not right now nor for a little while. Sp wrong again

Anyway, I started dating this guy, a guy friend for a long time beforehand, about a week and a half ago (so 1 month after the breakup). It went okay and I never felt it was a rebound because typically, rebounds are sort of, grasping onto somebody and replacing the empty spot; constantly making comparisons; etc etc. I dunno, I am possibly in denail about all this. But what I came to realize last night was that yeah, there was no sparky connection that I felt, as much as I REALLY liked him and he is such an amazing guy. We took it really slow, and then I sort of decided last night that I wasn't ready. I wanted to be single and sort of rediscover myself before jumping into a relationship because It wasn't fair to him. I was not able to offer my full self to the relationship. This sounds reboundy, but I never felt the relationship really was a rebound. I jsut want to know if I'm simply in denial, or what, so that I can recognize this behavior in the future. --And I know that they can also be healthy, in terms of healing.

Anyway, I ended it last night (although we can be friends. haha, man, this guy is so easy to talk to and we realized how much we really get along over the short dating poeriod).

[TAVS]

Sounds like a rebound to me but I dont know your previous story. If you were with the last guy for a while, definately a rebound. If it was short or half-assed, it wouldnt be a rebound.

[Tone]

That's good that you're on the moving on process.

Just one little tip... Asip said this to me and I love this little saying... but if you go into situations with no expectations, you have nothing to lose. If you sit there and expect those sparks to fly the first few days/dates of meeting someone, you're in for a lot of disappointment. I think you should have more of an open mind and take things slow and see what develops. You can't just expect things to get off to a bang from the start, cause it doesn't always work that way - and you never know what you might miss out on.

But, you say you want to be single and have some time to yourself, which I think is a great thing. Keep this guy close though, if possible. Maybe once you decide you're done with the single thing, you can give it a try again ;)

[Katini]

haha, thank you Tone and Tavs. Particularly tone, I do really like that. I did have some sort of expectation I suppose, but the feelings weren't there and I felt like If I started pushing them, I wouldn't allow the relationship to be natural. But beyond all of that, yes, It is basically that I don't feel ready to jsut attach myself to another guy at this moment. I am so tired!!

Thank you for the advice/stuff. I love that.

[Ellynn]

. I did have some sort of expectation I suppose, but the feelings weren't there and I felt like If I started pushing them, I wouldn't allow the relationship to be natural. But beyond all of that, yes, It is basically that I don't feel ready to jsut attach myself to another guy at this moment. I am so tired!!

Thank you for the advice/stuff. I love that.

I so know how you feel. Its basically how I have felt a majority of the last year. But, in time it will feel right to get out there again(dont let people give you crap about this). I mean it usually takes time and then you meet someone and (you just know the feeling) things work out in a crazy way.