My ex's mad boyfriend

[equivo]

No need for that amount of sarcasm Mishanya, but I suppose I can see your point. The thing is I know this girl will try quite hard to get him to change his mind, so should I just say to her its probably best for us to see each other a lot less and leave it at that, rather than let her jeopardize their relationship?

[Only-virgins]

If my GF was seeing her Ex it would annoy me. Either they would end it or I would.

[Cybog]

That's right OV.

And as far as going bowling with a co-worker is concerned, it doesn't matter how "mature" in your friendship anyone ever thinks they are, almost 99.5% of the time a guy and a girl are "friends" one of 2 things is going to happen:

#1. The guy wants to get in her pants, or vice versa.
#2. The girl wants to use the guy for support or a shoulder to cry on, or vice versa, or one of the party members wants to "use" the other in some way shape or form.

That's about it. Again, there are odd occurances where the chick is a fat sow or the guy is so far beyond hope of ever getting laid the above rules don't really apply, but for those of us without a large ass or who play Dungeons and Dragons, that's generally how it works.

[updraft]

Here's my random story. So I'm good friends with my first love. While with my 2nd love, I would first the first like once every 3-4 months. I didn't think it was a big deal and she didn't seem to mind. Well obviously she did, but she didnt make a big deal out of it. Well now, after 4 yrs, she's left me. Among other things she's thrown in my face is the fact that I remained friends with my first. I guess she was more uncomfortable with that than I thought. Now I have to wonder what I will do about the next girl I end up with. I want to remain friends with past relationships, but the new gal probably won't like that. I could lie and say they're just friends, but I try to never lie to those I love.

Being a very jealous person myself I could never encourage friendships with exes...if my bf was friends and talked with his exes regularly (or at all) I would have to wonder if they are so wonderful, why did they break up in the first place??? I would dump him in a heartbeat.

If it makes your current love insecure and uncomfortable why upset them by carrying on friendships with exes??? With all the infidelity going on these days and divorce rates sky high, why ask for trouble?

[TAVS]

I know. I just wish it didnt have to be that way. I value relationships of all kinds, friends, family, lovers. I hate to sacrifice any just because someone is sensitive to it. Especially if I'm just dating someone....Why should I stop talking to someone I've known for years just because the person I've been dating for 6 months doesn't like it?? It's not like I see them every week, months go inbetween without visiting them. Maybe a phone call here or there but what's the big deal? Dont get me wrong, I see where you're coming from. It's just going to be tough when I enter a new relationship. Would it be wrong to refer to these people as Friends rather than ex-girlfriends I still talk to?? Could this be considered a white lie as long as its truely a friends only thing??

[gHEXjt]

I know. I just wish it didnt have to be that way. I value relationships of all kinds, friends, family, lovers. I hate to sacrifice any just because someone is sensitive to it. Especially if I'm just dating someone....Why should I stop talking to someone I've known for years just because the person I've been dating for 6 months doesn't like it?? It's not like I see them every week, months go inbetween without visiting them. Maybe a phone call here or there but what's the big deal? Dont get me wrong, I see where you're coming from. It's just going to be tough when I enter a new relationship. Would it be wrong to refer to these people as Friends rather than ex-girlfriends I still talk to?? Could this be considered a white lie as long as its truely a friends only thing??

If you insist on openly carrying on those friendships in front of your gf's, then I think it's best for you to just tell the white lie. However, if you feel bad about lying, refer to them as your friends until she asks if so and so is your ex.

[updraft]

You see lying about it is no good because you'll eventually let it slip that the friends are exes. No good. I would *hate* my bf if he did this to me. I would hate it if he saw exes behind my back. I would hate it if he did it openly. I would hate the amount of time he would spend with these exe since it would be time away from me.

If your current\future gf is not accepting of this type of friendship with exes then nothing good can come from continuing such relationships. You should respect the other person's wishes. JMHO