Am I doing something wrong, or undateable? Or have I just not given it enough time?

[BeaveCake]

So I'm a 19 year old guy who did decent in school, starting college soon, got along well with everyone in my class-I was at the 'geeks' halo parties and later that night at the 'jocks' house party well received at both, was class Vice President, was viewed as an entertainer everyone loved when me and some friends did talent shows or videos for school because they pushed the border of appropriate, and I do crazy shit like skydive (may get licensed on it this summer) as you can see I'm pretty social and not afraid to voice my opinion-please don't think I'm full of myself from that list I'm just giving examples. But here's the kicker; I've never had a girlfriend, every girl I've talked to always rejected me (even when I wasnt 'friend zoned' ) a few girls were interested but were undesirable girls, I don't just mean looks they had serious issues. Girls didn't avoid me (I took the best looking girl in class to prom) but none ever seemed interested. Now I do have decently high standards I won't lie, but it's something I take seriously, looks factor in we can all agree-if I was with a girl it means I find her attractive body and mind, and I would never cheat on her, purposely hurt her etc and would hope one day marriage could happen. I know confidence matters but even so it's very hard to have confidence in a field you have no experience, and to top it off..well I had to shave my head at 18, my Dad passed and I got a stress condition that made me lose head hair so I don't have much choice but to shave it to the skin at, people say it fits well on me (surprising I'm a skinny white guy) and I can pull it off decent but still, I feel like being 19 having no experience and having no hair will basically kill chances of me ever attracting a girl I'd find attractive at a young age. So to girls, and guys with experience who want to comment, what is the biggest issue for me? Is it standards, hair, view on relations too mature right now, or have I just not given myself enough time yet?

[British-guy]

You mention you do crazy stuff like skydiving and can be an entertainer - is this really what a potential date will be looking for? I guess the social circles you are in at 19 years old in USA may lead you to believe girls want the cool guy who can entertain and do crazy stuff. This maybe true in some ways - yes the best entertainer always seems to have a hareem of girls around him, but actually, most girls are probably looking for very different things. I think the problem is you have a very inaccurate understanding of what girls want (don't take it personally, how would you know??)

I remember the desperate situation of being a similar age and really wanting a girlfriend but not finding anyone that's interested. I thought I wasn't cool enough, not talented enough at being an entertainer, not knowing enough good music etc. Actually this was wasted time, and I think you are doing the same.

Why not just put the whole girlfriend thing to one side, and develop your interests in things you like doing? If it's sociable things that bring you in to contact with girls then even better of course. At some point, maybe years later, you'll probably find girls are suddenly a lot more interested. And they'll be attracted to qualities like - self-control, intelligence, thoughtfulness, ability to provide (some kind of career/business), listening skills, empathy, etc.

Lastly, don't forget your physical location - country, social circle, will severely increase or decrease your chances. Make sure you are in places (countries?) that fit with your personality and play to your strengths. This will make everything vastly easier. If you need to work abroad, start planning career-wise now.

And for god's sake don't worry about the hair (or lack of it!). Oh, and do some more Skydiving if that's what you love

Disclaimer - I'm a little unhinged.

[BeaveCake]

While I did do that kind of crazy stuff people also know I'm very self controlled-my family is very military Green Berets and Rangers all around in the family, (in fact that's why I go skydiving its a right of passage) but I was basically told by a girl once that the relationship I wanted was too serious for her and she wanted to basically be that crazy free American stereotype girl for longer, so if anything girls tell me that I'm too mature for them as of yet. I respect them being honest rather than going into one and then ditching me but still, I hope my stock rises in the future, I'm just worried the hair (or lack thereof with the skinhead) will kill that in the future too.

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Also as far as empathy and intelligence I have that in abundance, a lot of classmates went to me one time or another for things (people I didn't even talk to much they just knew me and heard I could help people, and for intelligence I didn't even put much effort in school and breezed by with 3.5's in college level courses I took in high school. Sorry to name it all off but I think you got the impression I was some lump headed guy who had no personality or purpose.