Is she afraid of commitment?

[BenjiBenji]

Hi, everyone!

Well, my situation is this: I know this girl about 3 years now. We both are 20 years old. Over the time, we grew really close together. You could say we became best friends, but I believe it's even more than that. And even though I liked her on and off all those years, recently my feelings became really strong.
Even though we spent a lot of time together before, since early February we have been going on a lot of dates (she does know my intentions) and all that, and we started to spend even more time together (there has been a week where we seen each other every single day). And mind you, we don't get tired of each other. I would say it's even opposite of that.
It seems like we have a real relationship: we know everything about each other, we can talk to each other when we are going through tough times or whenever we see each other, we walk holding hands. When we go to the movies, she can lay down on my shoulder (you know, small things). It's pretty much a relationship, except we don't kiss or have sex or anything like that.
We spend all this times together, she knows my intentions, she does show signs of attraction towards me, she misses me a lot (I study abroad but I still can come back home every 2-3 weeks since my college schedule allows that to happen). But it seems like she's afraid of commitment, at least that's what I think. See, I did not ask her to be together just yet because I believe it's just too soon (plus everything's getting better with every date).
She did not have a serious relationship before, just some boyfriends that never lasted longer than 2-3 weeks. Her reasoning was that she just gets tired of them and their company. Yesterday, we were talking about that on Skype and looks like she's used to everything being so great between us as friends, she's afraid that if we started dating and something went wrong (and we break up) we are not going to be present in each other lives any more. We didn't really get a chance to talk it out since it was really late and she went to sleep, but I did tell her that this won't happen and everything's going to be the same between us, just better.
Now my question is - should I talk it out with her again and if yes, what should I tell her? Or should I just forget about it, be with her, comfort her and with time this fear will pass? What do you all think?

Thank you! Every response is much appreciated!

[Wakeup]

Here is a wake up call to you, Op:

Yes. Talk it over with her again and tell that its either ALL or nothing and she should make a decision to either be with you as your girlfriend of the romantic kind or the friendship ends now.

You are wasting your good dating years being the emotional tampon and best buddy to a chick you want to be your gf perhaps even your wife one day but she will never commit to that as long as she's getting everything she needs emotionally from you while being her MALE GIRLFRIEND. You're so far into the friend zone at this point that if you don't exorcise yourself from the grips of her emotional head lock she has on you, you will never get what you want from her and not only that, you'll not get a real girlfriend because you're so hooked on her and her shit.

How do you think you're ever going to be open enough in mind and heart to be with another girl and be able to give her 100%? How do you think any other girl is going to feel about you hanging out with a female friend that you are obviously obsessed with? How do you think another girl will be able to put up with you spending one on one time with your female FRIEND?

All or nothing because right now you might as well give her a leash and let her guide you along as the faithful Labrador retriever you've been all along.

Be KIND to yourself and stop being her (or anyone else's) emotional tampon/friend zoned girlfriend with dangly bits. Someone in another forum once said "If you're not taking her to bed with you then you're just her girlfriend" There's truth in that.

[basilandthyme]

I don't think she's afraid of commitment. I think it's probably due to having no chemistry on her side.

Re-read Wakeup's advice. Excellent stuff.

[smackie9]

This girl is not romantically challenged, she doesn't see you as a BF. She is emotionally attached to you, that's why she is doing just enough to keep you hanging around with her. She's giving you crumbs when you could be looking somewhere else for cake. You are her cuddle b ich or BF without benefits and this needs to stop. I tell you right now, she isn't going to change her mind, or get comfortable with the idea of being romantically involved with you. Wakeup is right, you need to confront her and tell her your expectations, it's a yes or a no from her if this is going to be a romantic/sexual relationship. Don't be a pu ssy about it.

If you don't take our advice and keep seeing her this way, you wil get damn frustrated/heartbroken in time anyways.

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btw the reason why you don't have a GF is because you don't know how to man the f up and be a man with needs. You let girls control you.

[Csca]

Are you sure she isn't a virgin? As you said she hasn't had a proper relationship before and 20 is still quite young to not rule it out. If she is close and connected to you but not taking things further, it could be down to feeling nervous about intimacy.