Timing not right?

[JillG0207]

Hi,

So I was recently seeing someone for the last few weeks and I have become very fond of him. My situation is a best weird to begin with, I was in a 5 year realtionship that should have ended 3 years ago but I was married so I can live abroad, I have been home for almost a month now. Before I met him I explained all of this to him and he said it wasn't a problem at all for him and he has been very open about it. So, I asked him yesterday if he had some free time over the weekend and he said no and told me his plans..but along with it he said that he think it would be better if we scale things back a great deal. I'm awesome but I just came home from Europe and he thinks it'd be best if I focus on myself and it's not enough time for me to seriously start seeing someone..
So my response was thanks for being honest and good luck for you're future and he replied that he would still like to stay in touch and hang out. I told him the ball is in his court and asked
if he is okay with me seeing other people. His response was that's okay if I feel it's right but make no mistake that he does care for me but the timing isn't right. I mentioned maybe if the time is right we could try again and he says he agrees with it..
I also still don't have an American number and he said he would like me to send it to him when I get one.
I'm just so confused, last week he told me he'd be upset if I told him I needed to take some time for myself and now he's saying I need the time. Is he really serious about the time not being right/possibly trying again or is he just being nice? I was starting to really like him but for me I felt like I could have been/am ready for another serious relationship - I know who I am and I'm a strong person I also know what I want/don't want and he is 100% what I have been longing for in a partner..
Did I do something wrong? Could it be that he does see a future but is worried? I don't know what to think..should I wait until he feels the time is right or is that a waste of time?

[Wakeup]

So are you saying that you married the guy just so that you could get a working visa/green card?

If that's the case then no wonder the guy you're crushing on is backing off.

[JillG0207]

We were together for a year and a half before we got married and I married him because I thought it would last forever, I loved him and having the visa was a plus so we could be together...he hated the U.S. And didn't want to live here anymore and we weren't ready to go our separate ways..it's a confusing situation and I was only 19 at the time-I didn't know what I was doing and didn't see through his bs at the time..for me I looked at it as a real marriage but my other half at the time after the fact told me that nothing changed (married or not) and he didn't really want to be married..

I told him all of that pretty much on the first date and he wanted to keep seeing me-he even told me about some of his friends doing the similar thing and he supported it.

[Wakeup]

Are you divorced from this guy you went to Europe with?

Anyway... You didn't do anything wrong, except maybe letting your feelings get the better of you for someone you barely know. Five weeks isn't a very long time.

He's right you know, you haven' been single for much of your 20 something years and it would be good for you to learn how to live happy as a single instead of jumping into things and moving too fast as a habit.

If you keep in touch as "just a friend" then don't be having sex with him. He'll be setting you up for a Friend With Benefits if you do, so: before you do anything sexual with him, make sure the timing is right for him to be in something a little less ambiguous and a lot more committed.

Good luck.