What to do? Should I be worried

[Mark1982]

My 24yr old partner cheated on her boss with me and we started seeing each other just over a year ago. He's as old as her parents and helped her out financial from the previous violent relationship. He's married and they'd been seeing each other for about three months to know one else's knowledge. Things moved very fast for us, within a couple of months we moved in together and three months later she was pregnant. I've always had a problem with her working for him, which I thought was my problem to fix, me just being jealous and paranoid. Our relationship has been rocky, to say the least. I've always had a good talent for reading people and I've caught her out numerous times lieing and she's stabed me in the back once. Hence now I have no trust in her and second guess most everything.

So it turns out 16mths later and having a child. That I was right, she cheated on me twice with her boss at the start of your relationship. At a time which means he could be the father, not me.

She said she doesn't regret it and did it to see if there was still feelings and made the right choice.

I'm so torn about getting a dna test done. What are peoples thoughts?

I'm also confused about weather to end things, regardless of who's the father.

Sorry it's a bit of an essay. Really struggling with it atm. Thanks for any help or advice.

MK

[Wakeup]

I've always had a good talent for reading people

Yet you couldn't read that she was a nth degree skank who was having sex with her boss for gain while knowing that he was married? Wow... Sorry you didn't pick up on that one.

Why would you be torn about getting a DNA test done? (I hope you've already gotten the STD testing out of the way)Is it because you don't want to know if you are NOT the father? If that's the case then don't have one done and just do what you've always done which is love that child and treat her like she is yours.

Your wife is an issued, opportunist who will do this to you again if the two of you don't get marriage therapy and she gets her own personal therapy in order to figure out why she gets any self-worth she may have (evidently very little) from the sexual attention of other men. She has no boundaries that keep her doing the right thing for herself and for others. She's suddenly not going to get some without professional guidance to help her hone her respect for herself.

Past behaviour is very often a predictor of future behaviour... That is particularly true when there has been zero attempt at self-improvement.

Good luck.

[TheEvilJester]

Hindsight is always 20/20, but this is a good example of why you should never get together with somebody who is already in a relationship. I mean, what about your introduction to this woman did not scream DO NOT PROCEED? So.... she cheats on her current "boyfriend" (her boss) with you. ...Now, as if that weren't already bad enough, her current fella happened to be a married man (and HER BOSS). Not meaning to judge, but I cannot see why you bothered to go out with this woman.

Frankly, the fact that she was capable of cheating on him with you makes it very likely she'd be capable of repeating the offense....... Which she did..... by then cheating on you with him. That almost makes my head spin at how bizarre that truly is.

Personally, my thought would be to end this relationship ASAP and never look back. That has to be your decision, though. There is a kid involved now, so it would certainly be a good idea to try to fix things IF you truly think there is a chance of fixing them. If the problems are likely to be un-fixable (and, honestly, it doesn't sound like she has any intention of changing) then the kid is honest better off with you two separated but happy, rather than together and miserable.

For the DNA test, again, that would have to ultimately be your decision. I think my personal advice would be to do it anyway no matter what. I think the child deserves to know who the actual father is, and if the other guy happens to be the father, he deserves to know that as well. For that matter, if it turns out you are actually NOT the father, I would say you deserve to know that as well.

Now, maybe you find out you aren't, but decide to still raise the wee one as though you were anyway. That is your decision. If you and your gal do break up, even more so I would say you definitely should do a DNA test at that point. If the child turns out not to be yours, then you have a lot less in the way of legal stuff to figure out. Unless you want to try to obtain some level of custody.

To me, though, the bottom line is that she has already betrayed you multiple times. Do you really expect that to just suddenly change? Anybody would deserve better than that.