I have been dating a man now for 5 months who I met online dating website, he lives interstate about 1000kms away. I made the move and rented an apartment in his home town to be closer to him and to see where the relationship goes as doing it with such distance wasn’t really working. He was a student for many years and only recently started a job so he claims he is struggling financially and doesn’t get paid a lot. I do earn more than him however recently I feel I am greatly being taken advantage of and used, as a woman this is having an effect on my self-esteem and self-image.

He was living in an old house with 6 other guys with one bathroom about 30mins out of the city, paying about $120 a week in rent, now he has come to stay with me at this apartment which is a beautiful 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment 5 mins away from his work and he pays me nothing. I know he is still paying rent at the other house for $120 a week but I am stuck paying $750 a week for this apartment where he is now living and he hasn’t offered me a dime, I guess he thinks it was my choice to get an apartment here but I still feel he is reaping the benefits of it and enjoying living in luxury on my dollar.

We go out to dinner, movies, comedy shows, the zoo and 99% of the time I pay for both of us. I buy all the groceries, any music concerts we go to I always pay. This past weekend we went out for breakfast, we had to sit down and go up to the counter to order and pay, he said I will go order, but got up really slow looking at me, I gave him my card to pay and he just took it and said nothing when he came back, except gave me the receipt and my card back. After paying $50 for breakfast he suggested we go to the zoo and I said ok if you want to. We got there it was $35 per person I was next to him at counter to pay she said that’s $70 please and he just looked at me and I handed over my card (like always) and paid the $70, he said ‘oh thanks babe’.

Another time we went to the supermarket and he went off to grab a few things for himself, I only needed milk and coffee and basic things that would cost $30 max. I’m at the checkout then all of a sudden he came up and put his stuff through with mine with 2 boxes of refill razors and shaving creams, my bill went from $30 to $150 as it seemed he was stocking up on his personal products whilst money bags was at the register  Now when we go shop together I get my own trolley and say I’ll see you outside as I have learnt his trick.

He fell sick last week, I looked after him, cooked for him and went to pharmacy and got his some meds for his illness, whilst I was at the shop he was home in the apartment that I pay for, using the electricity and internet that I pay for watching porn… nice. Make me feel more like shit 

Since I met him I have spent approx. $30,000 on our relationship and I am now in debt as I am paying for two people, I don’t expect a man to pay for me, but I would like someone who could pay their own way.

I am now on antidepressants due to this. the thing is we get along well, he says he loves me, we have things in common and we enjoy each other company but deep down I feel I am being used and I wonder what he really loves, is it me or the lifestyle in which I provide him.