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Thread: Need Help Processing Her Motive of contacting me after she broke my heart.

  1. #1
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    Need Help Processing Her Motive of contacting me after she broke my heart.

    I came across this forum due to being broken hearted by the hands of what I thought was someone to love. Here is the scenario. Hope i can get some advice.

    I was in a whatevership with a girl, 28, and I am 38. We both have children the same age, 10. We progressed in this relationship with very good vibes. Became intimate often after 1 month. As this progressed she never really would express her feelings verbally. However, her actions said she cared about me. She had a friend come out of a relationship and I could tell she giving her a lot of attention in lew of me. No problem, but then out of the blue she says she not being fair to me by not giving me 100%. I said my piece and told her good luck in life.

    I started NO CONTACT from that point on. Legit no contact. I was proud of myself as we have touched on this before and of course I would cave in cause I didn't want to lose her. So, fast forward to day 21 of this hard no contact and this happens.

    She is not one to talk about her feelings. So her first message to me, day 21, was she really wanted the children to get together and play sometime, but the children go to the same school and play with each other all the time. My question is could she possibly just be using this " playdate" to get closer to me since I have not been contacting her?

    That is only correspondence and I told her sure that would be fine. I just don't want to be a safety net. Would love her to just tell me she has been silly and would like to make us work. Just hope I know.

    She has still not contacted me since this initial contact at day 21. I started NO contact again and it is day 20 right now.
    I just know in my heart that I have poured my heart out and she knows how i feel. I have not had a lot of reciprocation on her end. I have been a little needy, and I say that loosely when we have had the Dtr and she wanted to keep me around. I have not done that this time, so maybe it has made her think. She told me at break up that she didn't know the future, but I was what she was looking for, but she wished I had came along later. She just got out of a long term, 2 year, relationship. I swear I was nothing but sweet. She even called me the most amazing man she has ever been involved with. I feel non delusional in that she really has feelings for me, but at 28 she just wasnt ready. I really care about her, but I am trying like crazy and proud that I have regained some dignity by not contacting her. I have even unfollowed her on Facebook, and not looked at her profile one time. I swear. Is there any hope for a change of heart. Just be nice for my hope she will complete a good love story by making it known she has had a change of heart. Living on a prayer.

    Thanks for any input or advice.

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    Is there a chance she will have a change of heart? Sure. There is always a chance. That's really not the point right now. The point is, she HAD you and tossed you aside so easily. So, as hard as I know this is, you need to forget her and move on. You deserve better than that. Maybe she doesn't quite feel ready to settle down. At 28, I don't know what the heck she's waiting for, but 28 is still youngish, I guess. Bottom line, unless there is something she's not telling you or you are not telling us, you two had something great and she chose to just toss it aside like it was nothing.

    Trust me, I know how much that sucks. But, think of it like this.... it would have been so much worse if the relationship went on even longer and she decided THEN to just cast you aside.

    I know this is easier said than done, and it will take time, but it is in your best bet to forget her. Find somebody who will see the catch you are and would never want to lose you, not somebody who doesn't value you the way you, or anybody else would deserve to be valued.

    IF she happens to decide she wants you back, let it be HER burden to chase after you. To be honest, even if she does, I'd sort of advise not giving her that chance. Why would the second time be any different? How long until she just casts you aside again? But, that would have to be your decision. Frankly, I'd say you should say no to any future "play dates." Keep her 100% out of your life. Good luck to you.

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    thank you for reply. Everything you say makes perfect sense, but there's a part of me if she decided to get what she lost then It is going to be her burden. I believe with my past behavior of being there at her summons it has shocked her a bit that I am not chasing her. Yesterday, she just drove by my son after school program, which her son does not attend and just stone cold ignored me. She had no business in that lot, and just ignores me. I could see doing that if I was blowing up her phone and being needy. She at break uup said no hard feelings, etc. I said ok. This just seems staged and a bit immature to do this. I am still not contacting her. I think she expects me to cower down and give in.

    Part of me wants to give her a chance if she can be sincere. It's hard to not want to, but I am trying like heck to not contact her until she acts mature.

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    Quote Originally Posted by onthemend76 View Post
    I believe with my past behavior of being there at her summons
    This is the kind of thing which has been giving me the vibe of you being a bit of a pushover. This relationship sounds done, but I'm giving advice for the future.

    Don't ever be at someone's beck and call. I'm not suggesting game playing or inventing reasons to not see a person. But I am suggesting that you not drop everything to do what a girl wants when she wants it. If you're tired, or you've already planned to do stuff stick with your plans. Say "no" to her suggestions if you don't feel like doing it.

    One of the reasons my hubby dumped the girl before me was because she was too compliant. She was a "whatever you want" type of person. Basically, he got bored. And this same thing happens with women too.

    Don't make the same mistake next time around
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    That is a good point as well. When a relationship is new and exciting, it is hard not to want to bend over backwards for the person and do anything and everything for them. Frankly, I think that overall attitude is a good one to have.... within reason. You have to still remember you are a human being, and also remember that you have other people in your life who may want/need some of your time as well. So, hopefully you can take that as a lesson for the future to not go too overboard in being available. It is okay to say no sometimes.

    As basil said, I would agree it is not about game playing. It isn't about saying no just for the sake of saying no, or anything like that. I guess you'd have to give us examples of what you did that you think may have been cases of you being overly available to her for us to comment further. For example, maybe if there were occasions where you had plans with friends, but then cancelled them at her request. Unless there was a legit reason (like she had something terrible happened and needed you there) then that would be one example of making yourself overly available for a person.

    Trust me, as somebody who holds it as a point of pride that he is there for friends/loved ones in need, I realize how ridiculous that may sound. It seems absolutely ludicrous that being TOO there for somebody could be construed as a bad thing. Personally, I think anybody who would think less of you just because you are "always there" (again, unless it crossed into excessive/obsessive levels) is a scumbag who doesn't deserve somebody so good in their life anyway....

    But the reason it CAN BE a bad thing is that it may cause some people to take advantage of your good natures.... as it seems was maybe the case with this particular human.

    As for your story regarding her coming to your son's after school activity.... yeah, that sounds kinda messed up. Was their any conceivable reason why she would be there? Because, to be honest with you, not only does that sound extremely childish and immature.... it also sounds a little psycho if you ask me. Why the Hell would she show up to something where she has no reason to be, then just blatantly glare at and ignore you? It is even worse considering it is specifically something for your child. Perhaps a restraining order is required. ;-) I joke, but seriously.... if she does continue to do psycho crap like that, or it even begins to escalate, a restraining order may not be such a bad idea.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEvilJester View Post
    That is a good point as well. When a relationship is new and exciting, it is hard not to want to bend over backwards for the person and do anything and everything for them. Frankly, I think that overall attitude is a good one to have.... within reason. You have to still remember you are a human being, and also remember that you have other people in your life who may want/need some of your time as well. So, hopefully you can take that as a lesson for the future to not go too overboard in being available. It is okay to say no sometimes.

    As basil said, I would agree it is not about game playing. It isn't about saying no just for the sake of saying no, or anything like that. I guess you'd have to give us examples of what you did that you think may have been cases of you being overly available to her for us to comment further. For example, maybe if there were occasions where you had plans with friends, but then cancelled them at her request. Unless there was a legit reason (like she had something terrible happened and needed you there) then that would be one example of making yourself overly available for a person.

    Trust me, as somebody who holds it as a point of pride that he is there for friends/loved ones in need, I realize how ridiculous that may sound. It seems absolutely ludicrous that being TOO there for somebody could be construed as a bad thing. Personally, I think anybody who would think less of you just because you are "always there" (again, unless it crossed into excessive/obsessive levels) is a scumbag who doesn't deserve somebody so good in their life anyway....

    But the reason it CAN BE a bad thing is that it may cause some people to take advantage of your good natures.... as it seems was maybe the case with this particular human.

    As for your story regarding her coming to your son's after school activity.... yeah, that sounds kinda messed up. Was their any conceivable reason why she would be there? Because, to be honest with you, not only does that sound extremely childish and immature.... it also sounds a little psycho if you ask me. Why the Hell would she show up to something where she has no reason to be, then just blatantly glare at and ignore you? It is even worse considering it is specifically something for your child. Perhaps a restraining order is required. ;-) I joke, but seriously.... if she does continue to do psycho crap like that, or it even begins to escalate, a restraining order may not be such a bad idea.
    No, I mean I was just there because I wanted to be there. My needy behavior was more when I half arsed attempt to end the whatever ship due to my feelings growing deeper and she just wanting to stay the course. Of course I was weak and just said ok and got more attached.

    I just really think she wasn't ready to commit and thought she could just dump me and now she reached out. I still no contact and she feels entitled that I would just jump right back in. Now her attention seeking may be escalating and I am not rewarding her with my attention. I see these behaviors and think do i even want her back, but if a genuine apology and some real feelings are required. I guess I am just wanting to know if her behavior is conducive to her missing me or making a mistake. She does have entitlement issues, but she wished me gone. Not the other way around.

    I really appreciate your input. Thanks!!

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    It is really hard to say. It could be a sign that she is beginning to think she may want you back, but is either not ready to go for it yet, or is hoping if she waits long enough, that you will ask her. It could be a sign that she is a psycho/stalker who wants to hover around you making sure you don't move on with your life even though she didn't want to move forward with you. It could be something in between those two extremes, or could even just be coincidence. For example, maybe she actually did have a legitimate reason to be at that event you weren't aware of, and it just so happened you and your child were there as well.

    Either way, my personal advice would be the same.... SHE decided to break if off with you even though things otherwise seemed to be going really well. So, let it be her burden to come back to you. If she wants you back, she can win YOU back, not the other way around. Even if this is secretly a sign of her wanting you back, if that is the case, let her grow up, grow a spine, and talk to you. If she doesn't do that, or even if she doesn't want you back after all, that is her loss, not yours.

    Once again, even if she did wind up asking to get back together, I'm not so sure I'd recommend you give her that chance anyway. What would make you able to trust she wouldn't just get bored and leave you again eventually? It isn't like something came between you two as far as you know. If that were the case, maybe it would be something you two could fix. This sounds more like she just cast you aside for little or no reason. Why even bother to take her back?

    That would have to be your decision if that ever actually did happen, though. Maybe you would sincerely feel she'd changed and you could possibly have a chance. If she ever did ask to get back with you, and you sincerely feel it could work, far be it for me to tell you not to go for it if it makes you happy. IF that does happen, though, at the very least I recommend cautious optimism, as I often say.

    Either way, good luck to you. I hope you find a gal who will treat you as her top priority, and treat you with the respect any of us would deserve. Whether that winds up being her or not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEvilJester View Post
    It is really hard to say. It could be a sign that she is beginning to think she may want you back, but is either not ready to go for it yet, or is hoping if she waits long enough, that you will ask her. It could be a sign that she is a psycho/stalker who wants to hover around you making sure you don't move on with your life even though she didn't want to move forward with you. It could be something in between those two extremes, or could even just be coincidence. For example, maybe she actually did have a legitimate reason to be at that event you weren't aware of, and it just so happened you and your child were there as well.

    Either way, my personal advice would be the same.... SHE decided to break if off with you even though things otherwise seemed to be going really well. So, let it be her burden to come back to you. If she wants you back, she can win YOU back, not the other way around. Even if this is secretly a sign of her wanting you back, if that is the case, let her grow up, grow a spine, and talk to you. If she doesn't do that, or even if she doesn't want you back after all, that is her loss, not yours.

    Once again, even if she did wind up asking to get back together, I'm not so sure I'd recommend you give her that chance anyway. What would make you able to trust she wouldn't just get bored and leave you again eventually? It isn't like something came between you two as far as you know. If that were the case, maybe it would be something you two could fix. This sounds more like she just cast you aside for little or no reason. Why even bother to take her back?

    That would have to be your decision if that ever actually did happen, though. Maybe you would sincerely feel she'd changed and you could possibly have a chance. If she ever did ask to get back with you, and you sincerely feel it could work, far be it for me to tell you not to go for it if it makes you happy. IF that does happen, though, at the very least I recommend cautious optimism, as I often say.

    Either way, good luck to you. I hope you find a gal who will treat you as her top priority, and treat you with the respect any of us would deserve. Whether that winds up being her or not.
    thank you so much for your responses. It is still about as clear as mud and I guess I will never find out what her real reasons are until she grows I spine, like you said and talks to me about it.

    I guess my question is if you were a gambler what would you place your bets on with what is going through her mind? I know it is hard to tell from this forum, but given my no contact and her behavior what would you bet on? Thanks. Just trying to get over this, but her wanting out and then this behaviour is just making me think. Too much I am sure.

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    Contacts you for a playdate and then doesn't follow up. Then ignores you in a parking lot. My money is on her being either a nutter or a manipulator. Either way, she's throwing up red flags which you'd be a fool to ignore.
    Never regret anything that has happened in your life. It cannot be changed, forgotten or undone. So, take it as a lesson learned and move on.

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    How about a nutter AND a manipulator? LOL! Honestly, that is my initial gut reaction to the details he shared about her actions.

    Don't get me wrong, I understand sometimes two people just don't work out, and even sometimes it isn't because of any specific reason but just they don't gell for whatever reason. Nothing wrong with that, and then breaking it off is the right thing to do. It's possible that was the case here, but she apparently gave no indication anything was wrong, and then just broke it off for no reason, mainly because she couldn't be bothered to actually put any sincere effort into the relationship. So, she strikes me as the type of person who doesn't value anybody, and not the type of person you need in your life anyway.

    Trust me, I fully understand how you feel about the whole "clear as mud" thing. The thing is, it sounds like you tried talking to her and she didn't want to share any details as to why she was breaking things off. So either she truly just felt she didn't have time (which really translates to she couldn't bother to actually put in any effort, so she probably never deserved you anyway) or she's too immature/selfish to just be honest with you and tell you why she really broke it off. I know it can be hard to feel like you haven't gotten any real closure, but it is just better to move on and forget it. That will be hard to do at first, but in time will not be such a big deal. Just remember that the very fact that you got no closure is a pretty big red sign in and of itself. It shows that she can't be mature and adult enough to just be honest with you so you both can move on and maybe find somebody better suited for you. It shows that maybe she never deserved you in the first place.

    Now, moving on to your question....

    As it just so happens, I am most definitely NOT a gambler. I am also not a mind-reader, so I certainly cannot tell you what is going through her mind. If I were you, though, here is what would be my guess as to what I think is probably going through her mind....

    I would think we didn't work out for some reason. Maybe something went wrong, or maybe there was some way in which we just did not match. I would think that to be the most likely cause, but that she was too immature to just man up (woman up?) and be honest with me about it. For her recent actions, my guestimation would be that she doesn't necessarily want to get back together, but is still insecure and jealous and is secretly/selfishly hoping I haven't moved on yet. I could be wrong, or I could be right on the money. I don't know that without being her. If I happened to be right on the money.... does all of that sound like somebody you want in your life?

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEvilJester View Post
    How about a nutter AND a manipulator? LOL! Honestly, that is my initial gut reaction to the details he shared about her actions.

    Don't get me wrong, I understand sometimes two people just don't work out, and even sometimes it isn't because of any specific reason but just they don't gell for whatever reason. Nothing wrong with that, and then breaking it off is the right thing to do. It's possible that was the case here, but she apparently gave no indication anything was wrong, and then just broke it off for no reason, mainly because she couldn't be bothered to actually put any sincere effort into the relationship. So, she strikes me as the type of person who doesn't value anybody, and not the type of person you need in your life anyway.

    Trust me, I fully understand how you feel about the whole "clear as mud" thing. The thing is, it sounds like you tried talking to her and she didn't want to share any details as to why she was breaking things off. So either she truly just felt she didn't have time (which really translates to she couldn't bother to actually put in any effort, so she probably never deserved you anyway) or she's too immature/selfish to just be honest with you and tell you why she really broke it off. I know it can be hard to feel like you haven't gotten any real closure, but it is just better to move on and forget it. That will be hard to do at first, but in time will not be such a big deal. Just remember that the very fact that you got no closure is a pretty big red sign in and of itself. It shows that she can't be mature and adult enough to just be honest with you so you both can move on and maybe find somebody better suited for you. It shows that maybe she never deserved you in the first place.

    Now, moving on to your question....

    As it just so happens, I am most definitely NOT a gambler. I am also not a mind-reader, so I certainly cannot tell you what is going through her mind. If I were you, though, here is what would be my guess as to what I think is probably going through her mind....

    I would think we didn't work out for some reason. Maybe something went wrong, or maybe there was some way in which we just did not match. I would think that to be the most likely cause, but that she was too immature to just man up (woman up?) and be honest with me about it. For her recent actions, my guestimation would be that she doesn't necessarily want to get back together, but is still insecure and jealous and is secretly/selfishly hoping I haven't moved on yet. I could be wrong, or I could be right on the money. I don't know that without being her. If I happened to be right on the money.... does all of that sound like somebody you want in your life?

    The only real "answer "she gave is that she couldn't give 100% back to me and that wasn't fair. I will give her that. She wasn't ever doing that though. I carried the emotional weight. I just feel like she was fighting what we had become and she wasn't ready. I sort of wish I could just be friends with benefits, but I don't think I am cut out for that after relationship parameters have been set... I.e...Kids hanging out together, meeting the parents, meeting friends, etc. Somehow she thought we wasn't in a relationship. I think i could have already moved on if she wasn't displaying these signs of whatever we say it is....Lol. Like I told her at the end. My good guy approach will be appreciated at some point and I gave it all i haD.If she can't see it, her loss. I swear i was not overbearing and gave her space and filled her tank with nice things I think she appreciated. I just think emotionally she maybe didn't want to settle for the mature guy with his crap together.... Good job, house, loving support group (family). Scared, for lack of a better word. my mind is actually to the point almost of being indifferent because it shouldn't be this hard. This gives me hope that I want be pining away for what was because in reality, the negative outweigh the positive. I guess I am just a romantic and would love for her to grow up and possibly write a new chapter of genuine renewed love, but I gotta get on with life. You folks and this outlet helps for sure! I really appreciate the insight.

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    You did everything you could/should. You were into the relationship at a time when it should be new and exciting. Then, she didn't seem to quite have the same level of commitment/availability, so you backed off a little wanting to give her space but hoping you two could still be together and eventually become more serious. It sounds to me like you did everything right, but nothing was good enough for her. Like I said before, if maybe she was just not into you I could understand that. Sometimes a person can be great, it isn't that there is necessarily anything wrong with them, but they just aren't the right match for you. But, even if that is the case, she gave you no real indication of this, but instead just kept stringing you along thinking you were building to something.

    At least she eventually did the right thing by cutting you loose if she couldn't/wouldn't take you seriously, but it sounds like she can't even stick to that without resorting to childish games now.

    Bottom line, if she's not ready to settle down, if she can't appreciate a good guy when she has one, then that is her loss. I wouldn't be surprised if you are right, and down the road she realizes what she had in you and finally then appreciates you for the good guy you are. Still, in my personal opinion, if/when she does, it should be too late. Why bother to give her another chance when she cast you aside so easily before? But, again, cross that bridge if/when you come to it. If she does come crawling back, actually seems sincere, and you truly think it could work, then you do what makes you happy.

    I will say this, as much as it sucks when you make the mistake of directing the attention to the wrong person.... It actually IS a good thing that you found it kind of hard to let her go. It shows that you truly do want that connection with somebody. You made the mistake of trying to make it with the wrong person, but it is a good thing that you still want to make it with somebody. Trust me, I know the alternative and it sucks. I've shut down before because I've become convinced there is nobody, and it really sucks, frankly. So, it is good that you still want to share those feelings with somebody. You just have to find somebody who will appreciate it.

    I feel you, my friend. I'm a romantic myself. The curse of being a romantic is we often fall way too hard and often wind up just getting hurt. But, the wonderful thing about being a romantic is when we finally do find the right person. I may not think that will ever actually happen for me, but I won't give up trying anyway. You should do the same. She's out there somewhere looking for you. Good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEvilJester View Post
    You did everything you could/should. You were into the relationship at a time when it should be new and exciting. Then, she didn't seem to quite have the same level of commitment/availability, so you backed off a little wanting to give her space but hoping you two could still be together and eventually become more serious. It sounds to me like you did everything right, but nothing was good enough for her. Like I said before, if maybe she was just not into you I could understand that. Sometimes a person can be great, it isn't that there is necessarily anything wrong with them, but they just aren't the right match for you. But, even if that is the case, she gave you no real indication of this, but instead just kept stringing you along thinking you were building to something.

    At least she eventually did the right thing by cutting you loose if she couldn't/wouldn't take you seriously, but it sounds like she can't even stick to that without resorting to childish games now.

    Bottom line, if she's not ready to settle down, if she can't appreciate a good guy when she has one, then that is her loss. I wouldn't be surprised if you are right, and down the road she realizes what she had in you and finally then appreciates you for the good guy you are. Still, in my personal opinion, if/when she does, it should be too late. Why bother to give her another chance when she cast you aside so easily before? But, again, cross that bridge if/when you come to it. If she does come crawling back, actually seems sincere, and you truly think it could work, then you do what makes you happy.

    I will say this, as much as it sucks when you make the mistake of directing the attention to the wrong person.... It actually IS a good thing that you found it kind of hard to let her go. It shows that you truly do want that connection with somebody. You made the mistake of trying to make it with the wrong person, but it is a good thing that you still want to make it with somebody. Trust me, I know the alternative and it sucks. I've shut down before because I've become convinced there is nobody, and it really sucks, frankly. So, it is good that you still want to share those feelings with somebody. You just have to find somebody who will appreciate it.

    I feel you, my friend. I'm a romantic myself. The curse of being a romantic is we often fall way too hard and often wind up just getting hurt. But, the wonderful thing about being a romantic is when we finally do find the right person. I may not think that will ever actually happen for me, but I won't give up trying anyway. You should do the same. She's out there somewhere looking for you. Good luck.
    Take the above advice
    Make sure the cause of your neediness didn't stem from a subconscious foresight you had about her not being able to give 100% before she even told you.
    We tend to cling the tightest when we already know we are about to lose something that isn't right for us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheEvilJester View Post
    You did everything you could/should. You were into the relationship at a time when it should be new and exciting. Then, she didn't seem to quite have the same level of commitment/availability, so you backed off a little wanting to give her space but hoping you two could still be together and eventually become more serious. It sounds to me like you did everything right, but nothing was good enough for her. Like I said before, if maybe she was just not into you I could understand that. Sometimes a person can be great, it isn't that there is necessarily anything wrong with them, but they just aren't the right match for you. But, even if that is the case, she gave you no real indication of this, but instead just kept stringing you along thinking you were building to something.

    At least she eventually did the right thing by cutting you loose if she couldn't/wouldn't take you seriously, but it sounds like she can't even stick to that without resorting to childish games now.

    Bottom line, if she's not ready to settle down, if she can't appreciate a good guy when she has one, then that is her loss. I wouldn't be surprised if you are right, and down the road she realizes what she had in you and finally then appreciates you for the good guy you are. Still, in my personal opinion, if/when she does, it should be too late. Why bother to give her another chance when she cast you aside so easily before? But, again, cross that bridge if/when you come to it. If she does come crawling back, actually seems sincere, and you truly think it could work, then you do what makes you happy.

    I will say this, as much as it sucks when you make the mistake of directing the attention to the wrong person.... It actually IS a good thing that you found it kind of hard to let her go. It shows that you truly do want that connection with somebody. You made the mistake of trying to make it with the wrong person, but it is a good thing that you still want to make it with somebody. Trust me, I know the alternative and it sucks. I've shut down before because I've become convinced there is nobody, and it really sucks, frankly. So, it is good that you still want to share those feelings with somebody. You just have to find somebody who will appreciate it.

    I feel you, my friend. I'm a romantic myself. The curse of being a romantic is we often fall way too hard and often wind up just getting hurt. But, the wonderful thing about being a romantic is when we finally do find the right person. I may not think that will ever actually happen for me, but I won't give up trying anyway. You should do the same. She's out there somewhere looking for you. Good luck.
    Jester,

    I really appreciate your input. Maybe we will find love One of these days with our romantic ways. I know that I laid it all out there with honor. I gotta feel deep down that with her being a female she has gotta feel some regret. My silence and not chasing her will either make her write that new chapter, or move on. Either way, it's on her. I appreciate your lengthy insight. Good luck to you as well.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by fukushima123 View Post
    Take the above advice
    Make sure the cause of your neediness didn't stem from a subconscious foresight you had about her not being able to give 100% before she even told you.
    We tend to cling the tightest when we already know we are about to lose something that isn't right for us.
    Thank you for the comment. Now that you mentioned it, maybe there is some truth to that. I just cant help but feel,, non delusional, that she had some feelings for me. I think the age gap and her being guarded got in the way. I just really trying to process her wanting out, and now her behavior seems off. Would love to hear your female guesstimate on her thoughts if you have any. Thanks

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