What's your thoughts on my breakup

[Crackers]

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after 11 months of dating. I am 27 she is 19. In the beginning she seemed extremely mature for her age as I met her through school friends. She didn't have many friends her own age, always older.

Things were going great until one day I planned to visit her and she cancelled because her grandma was sick in the hospital. That was fine.. I told her when you are done give me a call I will pick you up and we can go for dinner to cheer you up. She called me later on to say she was out with "family friends" but wouldn't say who which was very strange as she would always tell me who without me asking. I told her I did not appreciate being left in the dark all day when we had plans, she could have at least called. We disputed it for a few minutes but ended on a good note and she said she would call the next day.

The next evening rolls around and no call, nor did she answer mine. I called her friend to ask if she made it home okay and her friend didn't know and called her but again no answer. The next day my gf is screaming at me for calling her friend asking if she was okay. She ignored me for 3 days until finally she messaged me to say she wanted to cancel the vacation we had booked. I told her to call me that evening so we could talk. She called me from a restaurant saying she was out with her friend Sarah, she was very quick worded and sounded impatient before abruptly ending the call stating she would call in 30 minutes.. she never did. The next morning I called and yet again I got her voice mail. On the spot I broke it off.

She texts me 6 hours later saying "you broke my heart, how could you do this." So I told her, if you truly care then talk to me, lets go for dinner and work things out... she then continued to ignore me. The next day again, "I still can't believe this, I'm so sad..." So again I said lets work it out.. she continued to ignore me. 2 days later I show up at her house to drop off her stuff and she screams at me for bringing her stuff back. She rips up the cards and letters I gave her and put them in a bag with all of my stuff. I didn't talk to her again. A week later she is posting pictures on facebook with the contractor that had been doing work to her parents place.

So thoughts and opinions, I know she was young and everyone here warned me it would not work out.. I figured since we were so close it may.. and literally until that last week we were fine (in my mind). We never fought, had issues etc. Did she get bored of me? Is she being young and stupid? Too immature for a serious relationship? Did I jump the gun? Was she planning on cheating? I'm still trying to piece together what, if anything, that I could have done differently.

Thanks for reading.

[basilandthyme]

It doesn't make sense. Either she's just nuts or there's something you've done which you're either unaware of or didn't tell us.

That being said, the fact that you called her friend to find out if she got home safe makes me wonder if you've got control issues going on. I too would be be furious if someone did that to me. It was completely out of line.

Frankly, I wouldn't even like having someone check in on me directly with the same question. I know you're not the only person who checks that someone got home safe, but I simply don't understand it. It's like I'm being checked up on. Or that they think I'm incapable of looking after myself. In short, it's intrusiveness wrapped up in a guise of caring. Perhaps a woman who needed to be cared for would appreciate it - but not all girls are like that.

The only exception to the above rule would be if I was so ill or drunk that a partner had doubts that I could get myself home safely. In that case, the thing to do is to take me home and make sure they are safe.

[Crackers]

Thanks for the input. Contacting each other to make sure we were safe was very common for us. She would always have me message her when I got home from work to make sure I made it home okay. No control issues, me checking in and vise versa was completely normal in our relationship because we lived an hour apart. Since she never responded to my check in message I contacted her friend to see if she heard from her. When her best friend had not heard from her all day either to me this me was off, if she said she would call she would or at minimum send a message.

To add to the point that she is nuts.. perhaps, and not because I want to blame it all on her. In December, 2 of her former close friends sat me down for a chat. They told me they didn't expect me to break it off with her but they had some hard truths for me to hear. What they were about to tell me was the reason they stopped associating with her. Apparently my gf was a pathological liar.. she told me she was a twin (I never met her nor is she in and family pictures) and it turns out she didn't exist, she owned property and vehicles up north that didn't exist, she told me she had a $40,000 show horse (I never even saw a picture of it), she told them we had made plans to get engaged in a pumpkin patch, etc. it was a long list of things she had lied about. At this point I truly don't know how much of what she told me was real but I still cared for her and hoped it wasn't as bad as it sounded. I asked her about the horse one day, that I wanted to see it and she said she gave it away to a little girl who liked it. This was a red flag because she was always complaining about money yet she gave a $40,000 horse away?

[CrasherRob8]

Run. Run for the hills. Run away from her as fast as you can and don't look back.

She's the type that would say she's pregnant to keep you, or worse.

[Crackers]

Wise words.. I've been thinking this.

It's ironic you mention that, I heard from one of her former friends she played the "I think I'm pregnant" card with her ex before me when he broke up with her.

[basilandthyme]

My husband gave me different context to the 'checking in thing' last night. My comments were too harsh there and I apologise.

Anyway, sounds like you've dodged a bullet. Shitty that you've wasted time on her, but lucky you got out unscathed.