is it better to break up or work things out! HELP

[tsukasa300]

My boyfriend and I have been together officially for about 6 months, though we have been dating a year. When we first started going out we were both seeing several people and we were okay with this. Just dating around and such. A few months into it we decided to make to become exclusive. Naturally, we broke it off with all the other people we were dating. One of these girls was one of his coworker. Didn’t know it at the time, but she was crazy and had some kind of weirs obsession with my bf. A few days after we were exclusive, she said that she missed her period and was having symptom of pregnancy. However, she would not take the pregnancy test. For a week she tried to convince my Bf to stay with her and threw a whole bunch of things in his face. She even admitted that she loved him. My BF stood his ground and said that he wanted to be with me, even if she was pregnant. Surprise surprise she was not. Very suspect. Anyways so we continue with our relationship as such. But my BF still wants to be friends with crazy loco chick and I notice that he texts her. Yeah they work together. But nothing work related can be talked about on Saturday at 10pm. Unfortunately, she is also friend with some of his other friends at work and they also have a group chat together. I notice that when he sends pictures to the group chat he always crops me out. I notice this and it bugs me but I don’t say anything.
Finally I confront him about texting her and being friends with her after her crazy fake pregnancy to get you back scheme. Hes angry but agrees not to text her anymore. So a few months past and everything is going good, a few problems her or there but we work through it. I get an inkling that hes hiding something from me. And lo and behold he confesses that hes been texting crazy chick for the past two weeks. I am very angry and hate lying. I send him a text saying this has been a recurring issue with crazy chick bugging into our relationship. I say hes hurting me when he talks to her. He takes very long to respond. He text back a super long break up text. I love you. You mean the world to me and im breaking it off for crazy chick. She has some crazy manipulative hold on him.
I got to his house like wtf. I was never expecting anything like that. I thought that he loved me. When I go over there hes all confused like. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I want. He says somevery hurtful things to me about crazy chick. He says that shes his best friend. That they have a bond that cant ever be broken. That he motivated him. He says I am a ticking time bomb and he feels like im gonna break up with him at any time. I see his point bcause I say things like here and there. I also see why he likes crazy chick. He has done every kind of dirty thing imaginable to her. Super messed up stuff. Basically she is his back up chick. He knows shell always take him back. Im not like that. Ill break up with yo ass. I have self worth dammit. Consequently I find out that crazy chick has been involving herself in our relationship this wholle time. She got mad when we became official, got mad when we planned a trip and such and such. Like she has this delusion they are going to end up together. The part that pisses me off is he lets her. NO BALLS
So we talk about this and he kind of agrees with me. We decide to give him some time away from us both. So he can think what he wants to do. Hes very indecisive. It was hard cause im all like if you love me it should be easy. A week goes by and he says hes decided. But then he flip flops back and forth like he doesn’t know what he wants. This hurts me a lot but I wait patiently. FInally after his third time going back and forth I have finally had it. I break up with him. I guess that lights a fire under his belly. He says hell finally tell crazy chick off and find a new job. I also found out that crazy chick has been using text messaging system at work, after he blocked her everywhere else to manipulate him into breaking up with me. The thing that pisses me off is that he lets her do all this shit and is too cowardly to stand up for us to crazy chick. Can I really be with a person like that.
So after the break up he is completely committed to me and making me feel better and working toward building the relationship. Something is bothering me though. Him and his spineless way of being. After much soul searching I get to the fact that he is spineless and passive and is easily manipulated. This bugs me for our future together. Can I be with someone who gave up that easily. He makes many efforts when everything is good. He is very kind and caring. But I feel in the hard times even when he is in the wrong he cant make the effort to fight for me or stand up for his supposed love. He gave up so easily once. He could do it again. I cant be the only one in this relationship fightinh to fix things. That’s how I feel. Maybe we are not right for each other and I need someone more assertive. I don’t know. I don’t want to put more effort if this is hopeless.I brought this up to him because he was dragging his feet looking for work. Like really dragging. He said he didn’t want to be that way anymore. but how long do I have to wait. Can he really change

[basilandthyme]

Tsukasa, I think you've got this whole thing ass about. All these words about fighting for the relationship and him giving up too easily - it's crazy talk!

You've only been together officially for 6 months and those six months were full of arguments over someone else. Frankly, I think it's stupid to fight for such a short relationship. If it's so bad that it needs to be fought for, then it's not worth having.

Dating is not about fighting to make a relationship to work. It's about finding a person who's the right fit for you and which doesn't require such angst and hard work.

[Crackers]

"Im not like that. Ill break up with yo ass. I have self worth dammit."

Enough said.. leave him. I agree with thyme, 6 months is nothing and this relationship will only end in misery down the road. Save yourself the anger and disappointment and find someone who is better suited for YOU.

[loveshackme]

He's not perfect. you aren't either, and the two of you will never be perfect but what relationship is? But if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can to support both of your goals. He isn't going to quote poetry, but he's thinking of you every day he steps into that office, the thought that failure is not an option for him, you say he's dragging his feet, but you're going a million miles an hour. The fact that he's willing to leave his career/job for a girl who he's only been together for 6 months says he's already made that conscious decision to move forward with you and leave everything behind. Tsukasa, it looks like to me he hasn't given up but the fact you keep looking at his past issues and not finding faith in the future tells me you're not fully supported in this and I don't think that's fair for him. If you really thought this was over, you would've left him by now, the fact that you're still here and he's still wants to work it out is a good thing. Failing does not mean failure, yes he might has some indecisive habits but he's trying.

The easiest thing in this world is to be distracted, being successful in a relationship is to keep focus and not quitting. If you have to come here and look for an answer you're not going to find it in a few responses such as these. You can ask for every advice from everyone but it's ultimately up to you. We can analyze and over-analyze but you know him more than we'll ever do. True love is rare, but giving up on each other happens every day. Take a chance on faith, not hope, but faith. I don't believe in hope, hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire, and faith leaps over it.

[tsukasa300]

Thanks all for the responses. Lovemeshack, thank you especially for the encouraging response and the nice quotes. I love quotes. You are right that in my heart I have already committed to working things out with him. It is something that I am not used to, but I think I would regret letting this one go without giving it my best try to work things out. A good learning experience if nothing else. In the past it has been easier for me to let go of people then dealing with issues head on, mine or theirs. I guess its time to grow up.
I guess I'm here not looking for answers. Cause Ive made my choice. But, I've posted, one as an outlet to my frustrations and random crazyness. And two because I really needed to hear some positive words of encouragement from someone, anyone really. Even a stranger. And thats really all i was hoping for. Since all this crazyness some positive encouragement has been hard to find. So thank you for listening and the insightful comments.

- - - Updated - - -

Also I wrote this like a week and a half ago on some crazy rant very late at night. I've been reading other peoples posts and thought I should post it. See what I get back. I have since discussed some of my concerns with him and things have been going better.

[CrasherRob8]

So crazy chick is a legitimate crazy chick who will stop at nothing to interfere with your relationship and will do whatever she can to get him to break up with you, and he didn't have a spine until you were breaking up with him? Hate to say it but if he truly was going to change he would have done it before you were breaking up with him.

Chances are he won't stop, he will just be more secretive about it.

[tsukasa300]

Honestly, sometimes I'm a little paranoid about it myself. Especially since they work closely together. And like you said crazy is crazy. I guess I won't get over it until he leaves his job. But I'm trying to stay away from negative thoughts until then.

[basilandthyme]

Honestly, sometimes I'm a little paranoid about it myself. Especially since they work closely together. And like you said crazy is crazy. I guess I won't get over it until he leaves his job. But I'm trying to stay away from negative thoughts until then.

And then it's all good until they start talking again. Or till he wants to get kinky again.

[tsukasa300]

Well he never got "kinky" with her when we were together. Just talking. But if that happens, then my choice is odvious. But right now I have no reason to think its gonna happen

[basilandthyme]

Well he never got "kinky" with her when we were together. Just talking. But if that happens, then my choice is odvious. But right now I have no reason to think its gonna happen

Ummm....except for the fact that he's "spineless and passive and is easily manipulated" If he's really as pathetic as you make out, it's only a matter of time till she gets him back.