I need your opinion on this.....I'm really confused..

[wolf92]

two years ago, I had a crush with this girl and everything went so smooth between us. However, there's something happen. One of my friend liked her as well and that makes the situation more complicated. The girl was a little confused because three of us are friends and coursemates back then, and still are coursemate now actually, just that the guy already stop hanging around with us. Back then, I was thinking I should give her some time to think and didn't really take further action because I dont want to give pressure to her...However, one day, I saw her with another guy(who already chase her for years but she already turned down him for years), and I decided to make myself clear to her, I mean how do I feel about her...Of course, like what I've suspected, she's already accepted that guy, he who she had been turned down for years. I totally dont understand what's the reason behind that....I can feel that she had the same feeling about me just like mine towards her, because she tweeted something on twitter which basically like some sort of regret tweet after I confessed to her...I regret for what I've done, instead of giving her more time and not giving pressure to her, I should have done more to keep her by my side but regrets definitely wont change the ending, right? And we still stay as friends after that...

After two years, which is now, their relationship starting to crack, i assume....because they unfriended each other a couple of times on facebook. To be honest, I still have that kind of feelings, it never fades. During this two years time, she posted some of their pictures online sometimes and deleted it soon after that, not quite sure what does that mean, what's the point of deleting it after you posted it? As for me, I had another bad experience with this playgirl. I was trying to move on, maybe a little bit too hard, hard enough to fall into the trap. After that shitty experience with that playgirl, we didn't really start by the way, because I found out that she's a playgirl, messaging and seeing multiple guy at the same.... anyway, back to story, after that bad experience, I realized that I didnt really move on..and when I saw the girl have problem with her boyfriend, I started to see some sort of hope, but i decided to wait for a while again to make sure that it's really like what I've been assuming. Apparently, both of them seems like getting back together again, when they are friends again on facebook and he even added her mother. I was like, what? A weeks ago, you just tweeted something like "enjoy the precious time alone" and now this?

A little addition to the story, all these years, practically after I confessed to her, somehow, I can feel that she still have that feeling towards me, based on her gestures, but I told myself that it was just my imagination.She seems too nice to me compared to others and apparently even nicer to me, during that period I was feeling down during the bad experience with the playgirl. She seems to know it alright. However, sometimes, I feel like she is somehow trying to avoid me especially on social media, I dont know why, she never reacted to my post(well we have a group on facebook, for our gang) and never seems to check it out as well, but its completely different when someone else posted in the group. she might not liking that post, but at least, she'll check that post.

I'm really confused right now, I really dont know what to do, We are going to graduate soon and leaving this place, I'm really want to be with her, I'm certain that she is definitely the girl I love but considering the current situation, I've decided to follow the flow so far...Did i do it right...?

[TheEvilJester]

Here's the thing. Right now she is in a relationship. Is that relationship good or bad? Is it going to end soon, or will it last a while longer? These things are not for you to say, nor would you really have any way to know. Only two people know that... her and her boyfriend.

So, bottom line, from the moment she made it clear she was with him, you should have moved on. Don't waste any of your life waiting around for something that may or may not ever even be possible. Could she have feelings for you as well? Maybe, maybe not. No matter what, the bottom line is her feelings for you, or lack-there-of, do not matter at all right now. She is in a relationship.

Now, IF her relationship ended AND you happen to still be single at the time, then maybe you go for it then. Of course, you may want to give her a little time to recover from the break-up first, just don't wait too long. The thing is, though, maybe that will never happen. Maybe her and this guy will get back together and it will stick this time. Or, heck, maybe they'll get back together, stay together for a long time, but wind up breaking up years down the road. Do you really want to be waiting around that long?

For now, I think you need to distance yourself. The only way to get over her is to not be around her. It would be one thing if you could see being just friends with her, then I'd say remain friends and you never know what could happen down the road. The problem is, it sounds like you have tried to remain friends but it only results in you still wanting to be with her as more than friends, and results in you holding yourself back from finding somebody who may be a good match for you, and actually be available.

Good luck to you.

[Sarcasticshoe]

I know this is going to be super short and makes it sound like I didn't read it or don't care... It sounds like (at a surface level) she's not sure what she wants and instead of making any solid decisions is simply trying to have her cake and eat it too. It's sounds so chaotic. I'd let her know one final
Time how you feel then just drop her and when the time is actually right for her (if it ever is) then she will come back to you

[wolf92]

Here's the thing. Right now she is in a relationship. Is that relationship good or bad? Is it going to end soon, or will it last a while longer? These things are not for you to say, nor would you really have any way to know. Only two people know that... her and her boyfriend.

So, bottom line, from the moment she made it clear she was with him, you should have moved on. Don't waste any of your life waiting around for something that may or may not ever even be possible. Could she have feelings for you as well? Maybe, maybe not. No matter what, the bottom line is her feelings for you, or lack-there-of, do not matter at all right now. She is in a relationship.

Now, IF her relationship ended AND you happen to still be single at the time, then maybe you go for it then. Of course, you may want to give her a little time to recover from the break-up first, just don't wait too long. The thing is, though, maybe that will never happen. Maybe her and this guy will get back together and it will stick this time. Or, heck, maybe they'll get back together, stay together for a long time, but wind up breaking up years down the road. Do you really want to be waiting around that long?

For now, I think you need to distance yourself. The only way to get over her is to not be around her. It would be one thing if you could see being just friends with her, then I'd say remain friends and you never know what could happen down the road. The problem is, it sounds like you have tried to remain friends but it only results in you still wanting to be with her as more than friends, and results in you holding yourself back from finding somebody who may be a good match for you, and actually be available.

Good luck to you.

Like you said, she's getting back together with the boyfriend, again. However, now she seems like trying to make a decision between me and her boyfriend.I dont know what should I feel about this, should I feel happy that I'm given a chance? or I should feel irritated because it feels like two-timing to me...how is it so difficult for her to know who does she really love? I don't understand. I dont understand at all.

[TheEvilJester]

If she is legitimately trying to decide between you two, then I guess all you can really do is step back and let her decide. You never want to be the reason somebody ends their relationship. At least not ACTIVELY the reason. In other words, you should never try to convince somebody, or egg them on to end their relationship to be with you. Heck, if they could be convinced to do so, how long until they do the same thing to you?

Now, if you are PASSIVELY the reason she ends her relationship, that is different. In other words, if maybe this guy really isn't right for her, and she starts to wonder if maybe you ARE, then technically you could say you are the reason she is considering ending her relationship, but it isn't because you actively tried to convince her to do so.

So, if you really do think she is currently actually considering you as an option, then perhaps just reiterate how you feel, but tell her you won't get in the way of her decision. Then, step back. If she truly is considering that, then maybe you give her a little time, but I would still say not to wait too long. Hopefully this is not the case with her, but some people do enjoy the kind of attention they get from having more than one suitor. She may intentionally, or even unintentionally, string you along for a while, and you can't let that happen. Don't put your life on hold for something that may never happen.

Good luck.