Cold feet or cold heart

[djceri_g]

Why has he suddenly changed his mind?
Ive been dating this guy about 3 months now. Met him through a friend. Things went very well..we hit it off..had a great time together.both of us felt like we've always known each other.felt comfortable ..6 weeks on we got intimacy and decided to tell my daughter about it..we slept together . He started talking about future plans and included me and my daughter in them e.g family holidays .he took me to meet his parents and his friends (his friends i wasn't too keen on because they are a little childish and drink a lot). His family really likes me. He said to me that he wants to be in a relationship with me..he feels that I m the only woman hes met that he actually wants to settle with.....

ever since this conversation hes been acting different!he leaves me to go on the piss with his mates and basically acting irresponsible. Though he keeps saying he has to stop going on benders and that hes dissapointed with himself for doing this.

I finished the relatiinship saying i deserve better. We had a civil chat last night and he apologised for the way hes treated me recently and said that he just cant commit because he is going out woth his mates. He also said that hes really gutted about it..and also mentioned that hes got commitment issues. I said ok fair enough..these things happen. He wanted to stay friends and keep in touch and keep enjoying our hobby together..he used to help me and my daughter go out riding motocross bikes.

Should i still be friends with him if i still have feelings for him?, did he have cold feet?

[basilandthyme]

No he didn't get cold feet. He just decided that he wasn't ready to give up his life of boozing with his friends for a more settled version. For what it's worth, it's better he realise this now than stay with you and be out on the piss too often.

Don't stay friends if you feel strongly for him - you'll need space to recover and move on.

Look after yourself

[Nicolelong]

I think he realized that in order to be in a relationship with you, his life would go through some big changes, and he sees he's not ready to go there yet. His friends are a reflection of him, and if they are "childish and drink a lot"..... welll, that's a good indicator of his lifestyle right there. For a mature woman to come into his life, with a child as well that he has found himself involved with, that's a big culture difference for him. He's not mature enough or at the place in his life where he wants a serious partner and instant family. When it hit him that he WAS at that place, he spooked and realized he needed to step out before he got too attached.
My gut says that it's nothing you did wrong, you are just further up the road of maturity than he is. A mismatch. I agree with basilandthyme- it's better he tell you now rather than drag you on for who knows how long. Now you are free to find someone more compatible with your life