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Thread: meant to be?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    meant to be?

    Hi everyone!
    I probably know the answer of this already, since i tormented my female friends for days now, but i probably need the crude brutal and honest truth from someone i dont know...

    So i'm currently on exchange abroad, and i meet this cute local, we clicked instantly and we ended up spending a lot of time together, with me falling for it. Classic.
    So this girl is right out of an "abusive" relationship with the ex boyfriend, but he was her first love and they were damn serious about it. So she told me since the beginning she didn't want any serious commitment. How fool of me.
    Anyway, in the beginning we were hanging out together and loving it, kisses, holding hands... our friends knew that we were "kind of a couple" and it was going pretty good.
    Then comes midterm period, we start studying like crazy, and she says she has no time at all to meet, not even to study together like we used to.
    Meanwhile, the ex boyfriend started texting her again trying to get her back, and although she "hates" him now and dont want him back i reckon this is completely messing up with her.
    I ended up "breaking up" with her, cause i felt i wasnt a priority anymore and i could stand how we were anymore, not having time together or getting pissed at her cause she didnt seem to be working on finding some minutes for me. And i regret it, a lot.
    Now, she's probably not into me as i am into her, but i'm seriously driving crazy about her and i dont understand what i'm supposed to do. I should leave the country in few months, so our future as a "couple" is gravely in danger, although i'm looking for jobs here ALSO just to stay with her.
    Right now we stayed on a "just friends" thing, but ultimately my goal would be to try to get with her again, i dont even know on what basis. But now i feel it was kind of a rebound relationship for her that started turning too serious scaring her.

    Am i that stupid for working so hard on something apparently is not supposed to be? when i first met her i though we were really perfect for each other, on character, personality and interests basis

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Female
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    When you broke up with her you should have gone zero contact. If you had, you likely would have been over her by now.

    You're going to be leaving the country. Leave her alone and be free in heart and mind to find someone where it is you are going. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain and they are especially hard to maintain with women that don't have time for you.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    When you broke up with her you should have gone zero contact. If you had, you likely would have been over her by now.

    You're going to be leaving the country. Leave her alone and be free in heart and mind to find someone where it is you are going. Long distance relationships are hard to maintain and they are especially hard to maintain with women that don't have time for you.
    thank you for the answer.

    well, its almost impossible go zero contact since she's my neighbor :S
    and since we werent really together i didnt even considered it a breakup at first, actually. after saying let's just be friends i felt way better for the rest of the day and suddenly feelings exploded.

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