Dumped, now hated....

[sodonewithdatin]

So was in a relationship, her feelings were changing, I once again fell for the "lets take some time apart" routine, then she broke up with me. I was told that I'm not a bad person, just not ready for everything that was happening in our relationship. After about two weeks I suddenly became the bad guy as she played internet psychologist trying to figure out why I am the way I am. I guess my question, ladies, have you ever dumped a guy, told him he's not a bad person, then completely changed your opinion on him? Was it for legitimate reasons, or just to try and make sense out of things you didn't understand and could no longer talk to him about? Or was it because its easier to just make him out to be the bad guy so you don't have to feel guilty about breaking his heart and questioning your own judgement?

[melancholia]

So was in a relationship, her feelings were changing, I once again fell for the "lets take some time apart" routine, then she broke up with me. I was told that I'm not a bad person, just not ready for everything that was happening in our relationship. After about two weeks I suddenly became the bad guy as she played internet psychologist trying to figure out why I am the way I am. I guess my question, ladies, have you ever dumped a guy, told him he's not a bad person, then completely changed your opinion on him? Was it for legitimate reasons, or just to try and make sense out of things you didn't understand and could no longer talk to him about? Or was it because its easier to just make him out to be the bad guy so you don't have to feel guilty about breaking his heart and questioning your own judgement?

For me, I don't think it matters what reason a person has to end a relationship, any reason is valid. Whether that person doesn't feel the right connection, or if there's a difference in values, or they just "aren't feeling it anymore" is irrelevant. If someone ends a relationship, they do so because in their mind, they can't continue the relationship anymore.

I understand it's hard to deal with when someone breaks up with you, especially if you felt things were going well. However, it's not a reason to give up. I am sure there are plenty of people out there who want the same things from a relationship as you do, and who are ready for everything that comes with said relationship.

[sodonewithdatin]

I completely agree with you [MENTION=81312]melancholia[/MENTION]. It wouldn't be so bad, but we are expecting a child. I know I made mistakes, but when we split, though I was devastated, we talked very civilly and was told that though this is hard for both of us we will still be in each other's lives for our child. Then after a few weeks I was suddenly this terrible person, much like all her previous exes. It's just hard to have someone you cared about dismiss the entire relationship and think your someone you're not because you disappointed them. Thank you for your insight, I do agree with you about a person's reason being valid because it's their reason. It's just crazy how I went from being great, to my feelings have changed but your still a good person, to I want nothing to do with you because I'm going to believe you failed at our relationship because you didn't want it and were using me the whole time. It's a long complicated Jerry springer esque tale. End rant. Thanks again