Extremely close friends... maybe more?

[Hohenstaufen]

OK this is the first time I've posted on this site.

Basically there's this girl and we are extremely close with each other. We have worked together now for 2 years and at the time of meeting her she was in a 3 year relationship. Our work conditions require us to work in two's, and more often than not myself and this girl are paired to work with each other. Our shifts are 12 hours long so in essence we spend a lot of time together.

Whilst working together over the years the two of us have become ridiculously close friends. She says I'm her "best-friend" and whilst it's not a term I would typically use, she is my closest and most trusted friend I have. Working together more and more I started developing feelings for her, but because she was in a relationship I just buried them and chose to focus on our friendship because I valued that more... or so I thought.

A few months back she told me she had separated from her boyfriend and being her friend first I was there to support her through the difficult times. As friends, we are continuously going out together just the two of us; for meals, drinks etc. One day (after a few too many drinks) I decided to tell her that I liked her... a little more romantically than just friends. She was shocked and told me she couldn't believe it and why didn't I tell her sooner? I told her it was because she had a boyfriend and I valued our friendship more so I just tried to get over it.

The next couple of days, of having to work with each other, were a little awkward. We didn't actually talk about it but I was determined that it didn't become something that was brushed under the carpet. I asked her what she thought of the situation and said that because she is so fresh out of a relationship her head is a little missed up. She always thought I saw her as another sister but I told her that is not how I see her. Still a little shocked she didn't really speak about it again until I decided I had enough and we decided to talk about it.

My head is a little messed up, too. In my head I thought she might like me too because of how she is around me. I've had close female friends before but I've never been as close to them as I am this girl. We constantly go out together just the two of us for meals and drinks. We constantly work with each other at work. When we're not at work, we speak to each other LITERALLY all day. From the minute we wake up to the minute we go to bed.

If I fail to respond to one of her messages, or she see's that I have read it but not responded to it she always perceives there to be "something up" with me. Sometimes she can get quite upset if I do not speak to her in a while and arguments have ensued because of it. After I told her I liked her, she would randomly hug me and kiss me on the mouth. Not a passionate snog, but a kiss on the lips. It's hard for me because I want to kiss her passionately and I wonder in my head if she's doing it because she likes me.

Fall back to a week or two ago, myself and this girl were out for an Indian and we went to a bar for a couple of drinks afterwards where we got a little drunk. After parting ways, and her kissing me on the lips yet again, we got home where we continued messaging each other. Being a little drunk we were actively flirting with each other and we ended up sharing intimate photos of one and other. Whilst flirting with each other, she mentioned that she is lonely at the moment and wants, for want of a better word, a **** buddy. She mentioned that she had no takers and, speaking in the third person, mentioned that she "has this friend who said he was interested, but is yet to make a move" and that she was beginning to think he was lying. She was talking about me and I replied, in the third person, that "maybe this person is nervous because he doesn't know if you feel the same way". I asked how I could show her and she just replied "Just show me."

That was that. I have told her that I love her how can I show her? Does she want me to kiss her, even though we have kissed on the lips before? After this she never spoke about it so I presumed it was just drunk talk, but as I'm so frequently told, drunken words are sober thoughts.

Anyway moving forward, we had a little argument one night when I was frustrated that this continued to be brushed under the carpet. I told her that I am not happy with just remaining friends because I want more. Being so close to her, it's hard to me to continue being friends because it makes me like her more. Being ridiculously close to each other I told her that it's hard for me to carry on like this and something has to change. I told her that it's fair enough if she likes me as a "best friend" and that I will get over it eventually, but I'm never going to get over it unless she gives me some space. She said she wasn't happy giving me space because when she is with me it feels natural for her to be close to me. Then she told me that I have no idea how she feels about me and that her head is all over the place right now- having just come out of a relationship.

In my head, her saying I have no idea how she feels about me meant that she must like me. But she repeatedly calls me her best friend and that she doesn't want our relationship to change because if we entered a serious relationship and something went wrong and we separated, we wouldn't be in each others lives anymore.

Another couple of weeks pass of us working together, us being flirty with each other, going out for meals and drinks, her being touchy and flirting over the phone and sending me more intimate photos, I got the dreaded "where is this going" thoughts again. Does she like me or doesn't she?

One night whilst talking to her I got fed up of having my head messed around with. We were looking to book a trip to London together, just the two of us, with just one hotel room! She also told me that her ex-boyfriend is messaging her and I had seen in work that she was speaking to him. I got a little jealous when I saw her texting him, but he was a big part of her life and she is still getting over him so I thought nothing of it -- they're bound to speak to each other. That night though, she told me that her ex was speaking to her and being jealous again I asked her why she is telling me that? She just said "never mind" and I asked her again, how the hell do you feel about me? Do you share the same feelings I do for you, to which she replies she doesn't know.

We spent the WHOLE of the next day arguing over text-message. I told her that I am not content with being her friend and that we need some time apart because it's hard for me being so close to her and not being able to have her. I said that we need some distance to make it just a TAD easier for me to live my life without her constantly being at the centre of my thoughts. I told her that we are definitely more than "best friends" as she calls us. We are basically a couple except we don't have sex. She was angry that I couldn't just let our friendship continue the way it is and "see where it goes" and that she was angry I am constantly trying to get her to open up about her feelings -- something which she wont do. She said it's not fair she feels she is being pressured into being in a relationship with me. I told her that's not the case. I am not saying either be my boyfriend or never see me again. What I am saying is that I cannot continue being so close with her and it not leading to anything. The closer we are the harder it is for me... I'll be damned if I'm going to enter the friendzone and I'm not OK with that.

She was angry that I wanted space and angry told me that I could have it, and also angrily told me to delete the personal photos she had sent me. I told her that it's not fair her messing with my head like she does. She tells me we are best friends and that she doesn't feel ready for a relationship yet, but is repeatedly kissing me on the lips, flirting with me and exchanging intimate photos. She agreed that it isn't fair on me and she agreed to stop being that way with me. She mentioned that she can't help it, when she's around me it feels natural for her to behave that way with me. I told her that I think we are more than friends, because I don't know of any male/female friends that are like we are without being considered either seeing each other or being a couple.

After a little more arguing she told me that she "doesn't act like that with me just for no reason" and that we are extremely close. And then she goes on to say that she isn't ready for a relationship at the minute and does not want to rush into anything with me. I thought fair enough, she is probably still reeling from her relationship ending with her ex-boyfriend. I am willing to give her some time to get her head sorted before she is ready to start dating again. But she told me that I shouldn't wait around. I replied that I want to, because I think we have something worth waiting for. I haven't mad a connection with a girl like this before and I will not just let that go. She seemed flattered. We patched things up after that because we can't stay mad at one-and-other for very long.

This is a long post, I know. I'm writing it because I want some advice. I really, REALLY like this girl. I think she likes me too, even though she wont open up to me sometimes. Am I barking up the wrong tree? Do you think I actually stand a chance? Should I wait? The thing that is hard for me is that if we were to remain friends I would find it hard to get-over the feelings I have for her. But I like her that much that I wouldn't want her not to be in my life. It's like a vicious cycle.

[Marycumalot]

Friendship between girls and guys does not exist.. unless the girl is ugly and you have a better girlfriend...[URL=https://www.loveforum.net/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=fact]#fact[/URL]