have not moved on

[billfever]

I've written about the relationship I was in before on this site so I won't go into the details. I just don't understand why I can't get over her. Why am I still stuck on someone that let go of me? After the break up she said she wanted me in her life because she cared about me, valued me. In the first few months after we had regular contact (long distance). As time went on she pulled further and further away. We rarely have contact now. Any communication we do have is initiated by her (if I call her she won't answer, same with texting). She will call every once in a while to say "hi". I realize more and more she isn't even the same person I fell in love with. I'm starting to see that what we had, all that we did, really was just a mistake as she said. She once told met that she regretted "crossing the line" with me that she only did it because she was vulnerable. I think I finally see that now. The person that I originally met and got to know is gone. The person that she is now is I guess more like who she was before me. She went through a bad period a couple of years ago, lost contact with friends, bad anxiety/depression. That's when she met me. For a time I was her world and she was mine. Then she started to recover. Friends came back into her life. She didn't want to see me as much, contact began to dwindle. I guess looking back I see now that it was all just a mistake. It's not to say I didn't contribute to the problems, I certainly did. I'm just having a hard time coming to this realization that it all meant nothing. What was a real love/romance for me was a rebound (in a manner of speaking) for her. why does that bother me? Is it just my ego that is causing me this pain? I wanted it all to mean something and it didn't? I wanted her to remember out time together? I guess it doesn't matter now.

I'm causing myself more and more pain by holding on. God help me I can't figure out why I still love her. She has moved on and I'm still stuck in the past. It's not her fault I'm stuck, it's not her fault I have feelings for her. She had every right to move on and live the life she wanted. Yet, I'm angry. I'm mad that she ever came into my life. I'm mad that she moved on so easily. I'm mad at myself for being weak. I just wish I could forget her. I wish I could wipe my memories clean. What was the point of it all?

[Crys712]

Hi billfever. I know exactly how you feel because I'm also on the same situation as yours. It's hard to move on because we know that we still love that person. I also felt the urge of calling him but I always stopped myself to do do it. Same thing that you have to totally cut the communication with so you can start your journey to moving on. If you keep on entertaining her calls, you we cannot move on from where you are. I know it feel sad to know that the person that we love cannot love us back. The person who we cared about is the one who would hurt us more. The healing process of pain is not easy, its a long journey. I myself is struggling to get over from him but day by day I'm trying. I hope you can get over of the pain she had cause you. Little by little start not to think of her until such time you already forgot all the pain that had happened. I'm here ready to listen whenever you need someone to talked to.

[gr8love]

Hi!
I know your situation and I also know that it is not easy for you right know.BUT never say a relationship was a error. You can learn EACH time when you are in a relationship and grow in your personality. Sometimes one partner sees and wants much more then the other one. And this is ok . You have to take into account that maybe there is another person outside that sees YOU in this good light that you see your girlfriend right now. And maybe she will not only be PART of your life for a time but forever. I can tell you that once you found that person, you directly are over your bad feelings. So just make a point , try to do other things to chance your mind and go out communicative and talk to everyone