Personal Trainer dilemma - please help - Advice needed!!

[magical2008]

Hi there everyone,

I'm very new to this and I haven't ever posted in a forum before, I've been reading them for years though, so please be kind. I have a bit of a dilemma that is confusing me so much and I really need advice and/or someone to talk to.

Basically I train at a gym, I have treated myself to a personal trainer, and I've been training with him for at least a year now, he's fantastic.

I'll try and keep this fairly short and factual. When we first met we clicked straight away, he's much older than me he's in his late forties, we quickly became very good friends and when I was having one of the hardest times in my life he helped me through it every step of the way, I don't think I could have done it without him. Day or night if I text him he would be there for me offering words of wisdom and advice.

When things became very friendly between us and I think feelings started to develop, well for me anyway, every time we see each other we have such a great time, but it was when he went travelling and we wasn't going to see each other for 3 weeks that I had a feeling he might also have romantic feelings towards me, he cancelled every client just so he could see me before he left. It was one of the most intense goodbyes I have ever experienced.

He was telling me he didn't want to leave me, that he would miss me so much, he said we can email while he's away and to make sure I do, he said he was so glad he got to see me before he left. Then he said I would kiss you but I can't here, I said OK but give me a cuddle, which he did, as he was leaving he kept turning back and giving me longing glances. It was really emotional.

When he came back everything between us really changed, we had missed each other a lot and began a really flirty type of relationship where we keep pushing the boundaries...

He says he doesn't this kind of closeness and relationship with any other person, he tells me it's special and rare to find someone you can talk to about anything for an hour straight and still want more at the end of it, he tells me how good looking I am, how great my personality is, he's always happy to see pictures of me and says really nice things about them, he goes to great lengths to prove that he doesn't have this kind of relationship with any other client - I was sceptical and didn't fully believe him so he showed me all of his text messages, told me to ask them if I wanted, told me to watch him with them so I can see it's different, he swears blind that he doesn't have this connection with anyone else and doesn't want to either.

He touches me a lot, he gives me little gifts like wine or chocolates, he offers to drive me places or take me for coffee (these come with reasons though they aren't like dates and we have yet to see each other outside of the gym) once he was joking about and he told me he loved me.

He tells me i'm the highlight of his day, he misses me if we don't see each other and he cares about me so much.

Please bare in mind though that he is a generally outgoing and happy person, and he is a naturally flirty person, he messes around and jokes a lot, and touches peoples arms when he is talking to them, it's just who he is.

Also I know how personal trainers can get stereotyped as sleeping with all of their clients and flirting to keep clients coming back but please don't tell me those things about this situation, I know for a fact he doesn't sleep with any of his clients, they are all elderly or disabled, I also know most of them as well. And I don't personally think he does it for the money because he gives me free sessions some times, he won't accept the full fee off me for what he does, it should be costing me a lot more than what it is, I actually try to give him more money and he won't take it.

My question is, is does he like me in a romantic way? and if he does, what should I do? I just need someone to talk to about this and some advice. thank you for reading it all sorry it is quite long.

[melancholia]

It definitely sounds like he is into you. Even people who are naturally flirtatious don't take things as far as he has. Maybe he's nervous to cross the boundaries from trainer to actual relationship with you, but then again, he pretty much has already. Why not ask him out on a date and see what he says. Then gauge things based on his reaction and take it from there. You won't know what could happen unless you take a chance, and why not be the one to make the first move?