Email from dumper after 6 months of NC

[divin3]

"I hope this finds you well. I've wanted to peek my head out and say
something to you for quite some time now, but I've always been
terrified of the thought. You told me I would reach out to you, and
that was a big reason I why I didn't until now. But it is a silly
reason, and I just would feel better if I sent you a line or two. I
don't have any expectations for this or hope to achieve anything
really. Best case I hear back from you, and worse case nothing happens
and I just waste my breathe. At least I now I'll feel better knowing
I've said what I've had to say, and hopefully you will too.

I hope you understand why things happened the way they did and don't
hate me for them. The situation had become toxic and something needed
to be done. And every time I think about it, I feel the same way, it
was the most difficult thing I've done in my life. But it needed to be
done, for the both of us. And I was right too, you know. I knew then
what I still know now, that I will never love anyone again. It will
never happen. And I told you that, I told you I would never have again
what we had. But things were bad, and I hope we've both learned a lot
about ourselves and about each other since then.

I do wish things happened differently. I really do hope you take the
time to read this, and think about all I've said, and not dismiss it.
That's all I ask of you. I don't know exactly where you are in your
life now, and if you'd rather not bring this up again, I understand.
Just know that I always think of you, and still feel you very much a
part of me. Your venom still courses my veins, just as it did when I
wrote that poem for you."


I don't know how to interpret this letter. Are these just breadcrumbs or final closure? I am left confused by the end of the letter because he adds a romantic touch. he is just reaffirming what he's said all along as we were headed towards our breakup. The stuff he said at the end made me furious because he it was so unnecessary.

This was my reply back to him a day later:

"I agree that the breakup was for the better. I'm in a better place right now and hopefully you are too. Take care."

and this was his reply 10 min later:

"I'm very happy to hear you're in a better place. Hope things stay that way. As for me, well there's the good and there's the bad. Take care of yourself as well. I'm glad to have heard back from you."

Anyways, I'd like some honest feedback from men as i've only mostly been receiving input from women and would like a guy's point of view on the matter. To me, the whole email was fraught with mixed emotions and signals. A lil about our relationship: it lasted a year and was very intense and the love for each-other was very strong. as far as i know, there there was never any cheating involved. i had a lot of trust issues at the time of dating him and we argued a lot and he'd escalate all of our fights by threatening to commit suicide, he'd break his personal things (coffee table, suitcase, etc), run into traffic on the street, speed in the car, etc. Thank you for any insight! <3 much appreciated

[melancholia]

I think his email is strange, and your response is well put and appropriate. Who knows what he means by his second reply. He could be trying to get you to ask him more about what's been going on with him, but if he's adamant about the breakup, and it's finite, then what's the point in staying in contact? If the relationship was so bad that it was dangerous for his and your health, then it's a good thing that it ended when it did. Moving on is hard to do, but it sounds like you are both trying to get there. The 6 month mark of a break up is a tricky spot to find yourself in. On one hand, it seems like a long time, especially if you've recovered and started to move on; but it's not so long that you forget about the person, the break up, or those feelings that come with everything involved. Maybe he had a weak spot for missing you, maybe he'd been thinking about you recently and decided to reach out; but if I were you, I wouldn't reply to his last response. Keep him at an arm's length, and keep moving forward.