I think I'm losing the girl of my dreams.

[SillyWilly]

I need advice, I'll make this as short as I can. So I met this girl online which come to find out we went to the same school and knew each other. After school I moved to california and she still lives in Illinois. To sum it up, we basically fell in love and had a long distance relationship. I'm moving back to Illinoir in about 2 years. One day she says she just wants to talk as friends. Said she didn't like the distance. But, she still feels the same way about me. She would love to be with me in the future and thinks I'm amazing. So okay we kept talking, some flirting here and there. One day she says she's back with her ex. I feel dejected but she says she still feels the same and doesn't want to lose me. She said she's just giving the guy another chance and that she's not done with me. So whatever, once again we keep talking. Suddenly things change. She starts giving me shorter responses and doesn't seem the same. So I say "I can't talk everyday anymore, I'm afraid of losing you and think I already started to." she doesn't say much. Just "okay" and "I'm always here if you need to talk." So what do I do? So I say I want to talk everyday again? I don't know if she still feels the same. I don't understand. Please help me out here, this is a very special girl. We are 2 peas in a pod. I can't lose this one of a kind girl.

[TheEvilJester]

Long distance can be very rough on a relationship. It seems it has already begun to take its toll on yours. If you had happened to come to us BEFORE she got back with her ex (or started dating ANYBODY else), I may have offered slightly different advice. Then again, maybe not necessarily.

As it is, you can't force somebody to give you their time if they do not wish to do so. Maybe the long distance thing just became too much for her. It is entirely possible you two could very well be perfect for each other..... but the timing is just not quite right at the moment. IF you two were able to make the long distance thing work until you could be geographically closer together, then great. However, it already seems that was not working.

So, under the circumstances, it really is better just to let her go for now. If and when the situation changes and you two are no longer so long distance... then you could maybe consider revisiting it. You could reach back out, find out how she's been, and if it should happen to turn out she is single, you could maybe try again. The thing is, if the long distance isn't working for her, that's not going to change just because you make some grand romantic gesture, or ask her to give you another chance, or anything like that. Heck, maybe that would help in he short term.... but then the long distance would become a problem again and you'd likely wind up in the same place.

Now, furthermore, she's obviously already moved on from you. She is giving her ex another chance. So, you should take that as your excuse to date other women as well. Don't wait around for her just hoping she'll end things with her ex and come back to you. You're not somebody's consolation prize. If you happen to date some other gal and you two really hit it off.... well then that is her loss, not yours.

Now, I definitely don't mean to discourage that romantic idea of true love. I do believe it exists for anybody who wants it (other than me), but I also don't think that everybody has just one somebody who could be "the one." Your gal may be great in your eyes, but she's certainly not one of a kind. There are other women like her out there. There would be other women who could be just as good of a match for you. And, Hell, that isn't even to imply she's NOT a good match for you. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't, but the circumstances right now just don't make it possible. But, she's not the only person who could be your special gal.

In the end, maybe fate will bring you both back together. If not, though, why put your life on hold waiting on something that may never happen?