I have completely lost it for dating

[Alopolo]

I'm not gay or have no attraction towards males. I always liked girls and would ask out every girl I met that I liked. I'm currently 27 and after my last breakup 1.5 year ago I gradually started losing it for dating and just the adventure of going out and meeting women. I have very little desire of dating and risking my feelings being hurt for a girl. I was on a date last night with a girl I met at work and during the dinner I started to feel completely disengaged and thought that this whole arrangement was a mistake. Soon after dinner I dropped her home and I went my way and we barely exchanged any message with her probably feeling my lack of interest though I was very polite. I just feel like I want to be alone to my self and do stuff that I enjoy alone like watch tv, cook, travel alone or read. At work however it's a different story as my job is very team oriented and I actually excel at it pretty well. However once work is done I just long to be alone. My friends and family have noticed and try to sell me the idea that happiness comes through others - specifically a partner but I do not see how that's possible. I like to make myself happy. Is this wrong or bad?

[S0NofHAM]

There's nothing wrong with this, buddy. There's nothing wrong with you.

Everyone is different. Some prefer solitude, and some prefer companionship. There were some moments in high school where, like you, I had my fill of social interaction during the day, and all I wanted to do was go home and have some alone time to myself. It was very relaxing and peaceful to allow my thoughts all to myself without distractions and having to please others.

However, in the last decade, I tend to get very lonely when I'm single and I feel the need for a romantic partner for attention and affection.

So what I think that you should do is just be you: If you enjoy being alone, then do it. It's your life. Just don't put labels on yourself and don't try to convince yourself of anything. So if you decide in a year or two that you no longer like being alone, then find a partner. Don't think that how you feel now should dictate the rest of your life. Just live your life as you choose to live it, and try to be happy and enjoy whatever you do and where ever you go.

Be happy and be you

[TheEvilJester]

If something makes you happy, and it does not hurt you or others, then how can that be bad? Heck, if you can find your way to happiness without needing love in your life (as in romantic love) then that is awesome! The only way I would say this is a bad thing is if you want love, but are actively avoiding it for fear of being hurt. Then you are depriving yourself of something you want and deserve just because you fear what could happen to you if you were to get hurt again. It is much better to get yourself to a point where you certainly don't WANT to be hurt.... but that you know you will be okay even if that does happen, so you choose to try anyway.

That said, though, there's nothing at all wrong with being happy just by yourself. If that is what you need right now, then that is right for you no matter what anybody else may try to say. And.... Hell... if you ultimately decide you are better off by yourself, if that is what truly makes you happy, then whatever works for you is what works for you. Not everybody HAS to be in a relationship. I would just say if you want to be, don't deprive yourself.

Good luck to you either way.