Should I sleep with my friend?

[johanna78]

I have a male friend for couple of years. He is the dad of my son's best friend. We have seen each other here and there...for different events such as taking my son to a ski trip, birthdays, etc. Few years ago, we made out. We talked after and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship because his life was messed up and he felt messed up and didn't want to hurt me. He said if he would EVER consider to go into a relationship it would be with me. I knew he has problems (from his ex which I know) so I knew he was telling the true. His ex didn't know anything about us...nor his kids. After a year or two still being friends...the sexual tension grew between us. One time, he asked me out for dinner and we ended up at his place making out again. We haven't seen in a while but later (couple of weeks) we started to talk and see each other because kids and remained friends. Well, last year his kids moved so I didn't get to see him as often as before. However, every time his kids would visit him, my kids would be there over his house and we would get to see each other. After couple of months not seeing each other, two weeks ago he asked me out for beers. We went our and catch up on kids, school, politics, etc. It was great seeing him! He told me he will move in the same state where his kids are soon after the New Year's. Something broke inside of me. But I kept it casual and we had a good time. Last Saturday, he texted me and wanted to hang out. He was driving back from N. Carolina. I told him that I am free because the boys were with my ex.
So, he said, to come over his house so we can have some drinks and teach me how to use something that I have asked him couple of weeks ago. Anyways, I said ok...he played the guitar for me, we had beer, we played games, etc. one thing led to another and he kissed me. We kissed for a bit but I stopped him and didn't go forward.Now, we both decided to meet again this weeeknd so he can look and fix my son's guitar which he promised he will do. I will see him Friday night or Saturday night.My dilemma is:

Do you think he wants to sleep with me because he will move to Texas and maybe not see each other again? However, I do want to sleep with him so bad! The sexual tension is so bad...I cannot think straight when I am with him.

Do you think I will jeopardize our friendship? I mean...how often are we going to see after he moves? Maybe once a year? We can still be friends!!

What do you think he will think of me if I accept him and go forward sexually? ( I need a man's perspective)

Should I be honest with him and actually tell him (since he is leaving) that I kind of fell for him when he came over my house couple of years ago and we made out? And I had to have a battle with myself and accept him as a friend only?

Do you think that maybe by sleeping with him our friendship will move to another level?

I think we both are in denial that this attraction never existed...it always existed between us! Should I be honest and tell him that?

Please HELP me!!! I would love to sleep with him because I feel he always teased me ...giving me pieces of him...and not entirely!!!

[josephdiaz99]

Sometimes you just have to follow your instincts... If you feel like it, do it! Have fun! That sexual tension is not there for no reason. But, make sure your friendship is not going to be affected by it.

[johanna78]

Thank you so much for your feedback Josephdiaz99. I guess what I want is to find that closure with him. Why, as 2 grownups, are in denial that this physical attraction actually exist? If we are attracted to each other, why did we stay in the "friend" zone and didn't move our friendship in a different direction? Do I make sense? I would really like to ask him these questions and close this chapter once and for all. With him moving out of state ...I don't think we will have a chance to see each other more than once-twice a year. He travels a lot for his job though. So do you think I should ask him all these questions? To kind of be honest with each other for once? I feel that if I sleep with him…and have the conversation I will have closure, I will end this chapter with him. Maybe I will see him again and maybe not. But I won’t jeopardize the boys friendship because I keep in touch with the mother anyways. Plus all these years when we made out in various occasions...we behaved like nothing happened the next day and continued the friendship. AND that's what killed me because we never talked about it. So PLEASE tell me ...your feedback!!!