He loves me? He loves me not? How to tell?

[lovemenot]

I have been dating a guy for 3 weeks now and I have fallen in love with him already. The problem is, I constantly keep wondering if he feels the same way... I know it's my problem, but I keep over-analyzing all the small things all the time.

But I want to let you know some prehistory first.
We met while we both were still in a relationship with other partners. Then after two weeks of living sort of a double life he broke up with his gf and I broke up with my bf, so we could be together.

During the first two weeks we would constantly message each other how much we miss each other and how we can't wait to see each other again and so on. He even sent me this long romantic text saying he thinks HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME. And we would dream together about how we will have our own company one day (we are both starting a course together) and how we would travel together and live together and so on...And he said once smth like " maybe your dad will have a son in law to watch basketball with him" after I told him nobody at home watches it with my dad...Well those two weeks were just absolutely amazingly romantic.

Then he broke up with his gf and it really hit him hard. He drove her home (diferent country) and said to me later that driving back he seriously considered to turn around and go back to her... And he became a little colder after that, and doesn't message me as much romantic things about missing me and stuff...
Though when we together it's great! I even met a bunch of his friends and he even mentioned moving in together a couple of times. He always shows affection in private AND in public. Always holds my hand, makes me food when I'm at his place and even when he's at my place and we still text each other a lot and he initiates those texts and so on...
And the sex is great and we both lough a lot and he asks questions about me, shows interest, listens to me and we always have great time together. Time just flies by when we are together...

But I can't get rid of the strange feeling that it's either too good to be truth or that somehow it got colder a little...

Is it possible that I am just over-analyzing? Maybe he just needs some more time to get over his ex? Because he was really devastated to hurt her so much...(that was a week ago).. Or is it possible that he is just slowly losing interest?
Maybe there are some signs to know how he really feels? Because I don't want to push him and ask such things so soon, but I am just afraid I might get hurt..

[melancholia]

You're probably not over analyzing this, but you're under analyzing it. He is probably still with his girlfriend. Either he never broke up with her at all, or he tried to and they wound up getting back together and he's stringing you along as his side chick to use at his convenience. You should ask him what's up with him and why he seems distant, and ask him if he still has feelings for his ex and see how he reacts.

[lovemenot]

that's definitely not the case.
first - he was talking about leaving her even before anything happened with us. he said several times he doesn't love her anymore and maybe never has.
secondly - she moved back and lives in a different country now and before they were living together.
and third - we spend so much time together and text each other constantly when we are apart. And when we are together he is never on his phone or anything and even if she texts him, he shows me her messages.
They are for sure not together anymore I have no doubts about that.

[Hooo!]

leaving a person you have been with for a long time is ´difficult.
and it hurts yourself
even if you dont love the person anymore.
It tears you up inside a little. And after that there is a part of you that is missing and it went with the other person.
It is ok that way.

If you are insecure about it then talk to him about it.
Shirt hurts like hell and I think he is actually doing quite fine.
Its ok if he sometimes still thinks of her fondly. Not that she was a bad person or anything.
Maybe you can help him to focus on ... erm ... other matters at hand ? ;-)

[lovemenot]

thank you so much Hooo! for your honest opinion.
I know it is difficult to leave someone after such a long time, and it really hit him hard,
but I can actually see him getting better and better with time and I do try to help him focus on other matters

And honestly even writing this post I realized that everything is really fine,
maybe I would like him to text me he's missing me more often or something...but who wouldn't? ;D
Probably I am just too scared to get hurt, because I am already falling for him quite hard and maybe I am just looking for excuses not to or something trying to protect myself from another heartbreak (been there already in the past..)
But still every little detail causes doubts.. I think I might have some problems

[Hooo!]

trying to protect myself from another heartbreak (been there already in the past..)

well for most of us when we have to deal with it - it feels like noone else has experienced such mental pain. It just hurts so much.

It hurts soo much that we dont realise that we are not alone. Most people know that pain.
And i can tell you this: Really loving again and trusting again - not only despite the risk of being hurt but also because of it:
It is worth it.
Every moment of full out unprotected love that you can give and recieve while at the same time knowing how vulnerable you are and therefore trusting with all you have
is wonderful. It doesnt feel like that when you are hurt

Good luck.