How important is sex in a relatiaonship? Quality and/or quantity

[Eros82]

Okay men, I've been thinking a lot lately about sex in a relationship/marriage. I'd love to get your thoughts on the topic.

How often do you expect/want it in long term relationship/marriage?
How important is it to your happiness with your partner?
Would you ever end a relationship for not getting it enough OR not getting your desires/fetishes/fantasies fulfilled?


Any thoughts you have...

[melancholia]

I'm female, but I'll answer anyway.

1. Ideally, I'd like it every day. That's not always possible though, so at least 3-4x per week is satisfactory.
2. It's extremely important to me. The frequency isn't as important as the quality, which is determined by sexual compatibility, ability to communicate, and being open to trying new things.
3. Yes. Although it depends on the longevity and seriousness of my relationship with that person. I wouldn't up and leave someone I truly loved due to a dry spell, but I would absolutely communicate with them to find out what was going on so we could rectify the issue and get things going again. If it was a short-term relationship where things are just beginning and the sex is bad, or they are selfish in bed, or not open to trying different things, I would end it. There's no point in wasting time when there are plenty of other people out there whom you are more sexually compatible with.

Sex is very important to me in a relationship. It's the one aspect of a romantic relationship that differs from a platonic one, so it is important. It makes me feel connected to that person in a way I can't connect with anyone else (I prefer monogamous relationship to open ones). Sex is not the solely important aspect of a relationship for me, but it is high up there on my list of importance.

[pcmaster]

I would like to have sex once a month. Despite that most females seem to want it everyday. Most important for me in sex would be connection, to really feel comfortable with partner and to feel connection outside of bed too. I mean emotional connection.
I can live without my fetishes to be fulfilled. But wouldnt end relationship if theres wasnt enough sex or my desires would not be fulfilled. Simply Im never first to end relstionship. But with having everything I want in bed it would make me happier and more confident.

[edd]

love and conection is first in relation to want sex.
but when its there i can do it 10x a day.
5x a week is acceptable, if it would be less i start to get frustrated.
and never leave the bed with youre woman unsatisfied
trying new stuff is nice as long as you can agree together.

[Hooo!]

yes it is imporant
yes some and not all people break up for not haveing enough sex
or for not having their fantasies forfilled
and sometimes because they had their fantasies fulfilled too

the numbers vary from person to person.

The interesting question is really: What makes you ask this.
I sense an issue below that question that is not quite discussed yet.

I suppose you or your man has a high sex drive while the other one doesnt - or one of you cant enjoy themselves while having sex for some reason?

[Exeter19]

1. when ever we are together privately or see each other - since we do not live together.
2. it's about an 8 on the scale in regards to happiness with your partner. it's high but not the highest obviously.
3.yes, if the sex was horrible and it caused arguments over it. wouldn't end it if the sex was not happening as much as i liked though.

[richiro]

How often do you expect/want it in long term relationship/marriage? this has much moreso to do with the personalities involved and as well age (females want it more as they get older, men less)
How important is it to your happiness with your partner? this is also very dependent on personality and individual preference. for me this is very important.
Would you ever end a relationship for not getting it enough OR not getting your desires/fetishes/fantasies fulfilled? because it is vey important to me - yes i have. i feel one of the most honest representations you get of a person is in the bedroom. so i put a lot of meaning into what the person is really about based on how they are in the bedroom. are they giving? aggressive? extreme? selfish? uncaring? demeaning? supportive? sensual?

people can fake it and put on a good show in life and in the public eye - i think the truth can't be hidden in the bedroom.

[I am You]

Hey my darling,
I can tell ya to have sex is one thing but you will get bored of it really fast so dont worry of that. Sex is all about trust if you trust your patner it will be nice all the time to jsut feel yourself but to keep it for just once in a month will drive the male body crazy so just if u horney and want sex just ask your boyfriend and he will agree to have sex with ya but dont let him wait to long or he gonna let u fall... its a hard thing but if u really love him and trust him have sex bzt with condom

[lovemenot]

I am female too, but I'll still answer:]

1. it varies a lot. in the beginning of a relationship at least twice a day if it's possible. getting to know each other and it's all new and exciting so usually just as often as possible in the beginning. Later basically every time we meet or at least every other day or so...Sometimes of course there's too much stress at work or whatever, then less..depends.
2. It is very important. first is the spiritual and emotional connection of course but a romantic sexual connection is a close second. It's the one thing that makes you from best friends into lovers. that level of intimacy you only share with that most special one. the thing that lets you totally give yourself to each other give them your soul and body all of you.
3. I would end a relationship due to lack of sex or really bad sex (like if he was selfish in bed or not open about it). though usually it just shows some deeper problems in my opinion. like the lack of communication or incompatibility deeper than just physical. but it is actually one of the reasons I once left someone after 2 years of being together. the physical attraction just faded over time and he wasn't very open to communicate about it and eventually it just felt more like a best friend type of thing rather than a romantic love.