If you're in my shoes, would you worry about this? Should I wait for her to text?

[fmfan08]

Just a little confused and want some perspective as I've been out the dating game for a while, had the odd date or two in the last month, etc.

This girl started talking to me on POF and we bantered back and forth, I got her number at the end then I text her the next day continuing that banter to then ask her out.

We originally had our first date planned for last Thursday but she asked if she could re-arrange it for Saturday due to driving family to airport, so we did.

Our first date was a little nerve wracking, but we played mini-golf, went for dinner then hit the arcades and a bar.

She showed me all the positive signs, touching her hair, playfully hitting my arm, teasing me, etc and I reciprocated the physical contact. At the end of our date as I walked her to her car, we kissed for a good 20-30 seconds and she seemed to enjoy it. I pulled away to say goodbye and she went back in to peck me on the lips then playfully slapped me.

When she got back home she text me saying she had a really good night and I said the same.

The next day she initiated saying "Evening [my nickname] how are you?". So we bantered and I aimed to ask her out for the second date. She said she thinks she's free Friday and Saturday but won't know for certain until Wednesday, but so far she is. I agreed and ended the conversation.

Now, from Monday-Thursday this week she was on holiday within the country with friends at a cottage so I expected any contact with her would be delayed.

I reached out and made a joke, hoping she was enjoying her holiday. She replied three hours later (usually 10-15 mins she replies), however during those three hours she was uploading pictures of her holiday onto Facebook and sharing stuff. She told me she was enjoying it and had fun at the seaside and she asked how my day off was.

I replied three hours later as I was at work. This is a picture of the conversation following:



- Should I be worried that she didn't respond to my last message when all the other times I've ended a conversation, she's replied to them?
- It will be two days since we last spoke to each other, should I wait it out and let her reach out to me? She's initiated a lot and I did the last time
- Would going three days without speaking be too much? I'd like her to wonder where I've gone, create mystery, etc.
- If you were in my situation, would you think things were going good and nothing to worry about?

I'm just curious, because I'm still getting emoji's/emoticons, her asking questions and she offered me days when she's free but I've noticed she's not reached out to me much this week and I've been having to do that. Obviously she's been on holiday within the country, so that's probably a factor and I've tried not to message her too much and respected that. I am on dating websites talking to other girls, but I would like to continue seeing this one.

[pcmaster]

I say dont be worried but dont run after her. Message her again if you want to meet. But in your place I wouldnt message girls while shes away in holidays. Now if you are both in town and free then why dont meet?
I think if you cant meet at least every second week because of girl it isnt worth it to put up with being in last place after her family and friends.

[Hooo!]

posting texts is pathetic.
this is not the level and questions that get you anywhere with girls.

i have done that too and its just disgusting
to yourself and to the woman.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, to respond to your specific questions...

- Should I be worried that she didn't respond to my last message when all the other times I've ended a conversation, she's replied to them?
In this case I think I'd say no. First off, you say she normally responds to your messages. Secondly, seeing your message above, that didn't necessarily require a response. So, I wouldn't worry too much about this.

- It will be two days since we last spoke to each other, should I wait it out and let her reach out to me? She's initiated a lot and I did the last time
Well, here you say that she's been the one to initiate plenty of times. So, I think I would also say don't worry too much about this one. Just do what feels right. If you want to text her, text her. I mean, certainly there does need to be a balance. You don't want to become an over-texter, nor do you want to ALWAYS have to be the one to initiate. But, it is okay to be the first to text now and then.

- Would going three days without speaking be too much? I'd like her to wonder where I've gone, create mystery, etc.
That's really more a question for you because it depends on what is your norm and hers. Not only that, but if you two have only been dating for a little while, it could just be that you two are more now settling into your usual norm. In other words, when a relationship is exciting and new, you may reach out all the time. As you settle into the relationship a little more, you may not feel the need to be in touch so constantly. That MAY be bad if either or even both of you start to realize it is because you just aren't as interested as you thought.... but it could also just be you two settling into your normal. If you'd been dating for a while, were officially boyfriend/girlfriend and all that and the change was sudden, then I would say it may be concerning. But, this early on, going a few days without talking isn't necessarily a death sentence. Especially when you consider you mentioned that she is currently on some kind of trip or something with friends. So, she may be otherwise occupied and maybe would be back to the frequency you are used to once she is back.

If it goes on and on and you two don't talk for a while, then yeah, maybe there is a problem. Or, if you try to be the one to initiate and it starts to feel like she can barely be bothered to participate, then that is maybe a sign she's no longer interested. For now, though, I think it is a little too early to worry about that. She had to reschedule your second date, but it's not like she just cancelled with no mention of rescheduling. She offered possible days and you two agreed to make a decision later in the week. So, at the very least, reach back out to her soon if she does not first and try to see if you can still make plans for whatever day works for you both. Sometimes life happens and people have to reschedule. If it becomes a constant thing, then I'd agree it is maybe a problem, but not just one time.

- If you were in my situation, would you think things were going good and nothing to worry about?

Oh, Jesus, you can't go by me at all. I'd be freaking myself out thinking all the same things you are, only probably a million times worse. The thing is, I've learned that about myself and, as result, have learned how to better handle it. I am freaking out in my own head, but I also forcibly engage the more intellectual side of myself to remind myself that I'm probably freaking out over nothing and should just proceed as though that is exactly the case. I have to do that or otherwise I WOULD wind up freaking out all over the person and it would just become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If she's going to pull away, it will become obvious enough to you. IF that happens, you should deal with it then. For now, don't jump to the conclusion that she is pulling away, when it may actually just be that she's been busy. Good luck to you!

[richiro]

you're fine.. just don't get clingy and needy and keep texting her.... wait a while also but like a day or so before the proposed date... confirm with her and be like "i'll meet you at X at Xpm" or "be ready at 4pm, i'll drop by to pick you up" etc.
i don't see any worry here. it sounds like she is very close with her family and they do things and it was just timing. yo don't want a girl clinging to your every word anyway - that's unhealthy.

relax.. trust what's happened between you two.. and enjoy date 2 and judge from that.

good luck.

[lovebroken]

Not odd, she is on holiday and you left it as - she should get back to enjoying her holiday and you'll see her time mentioned and day. Right? So IMO would be up to her and not you to next reach out, probably when she is back home and doing free time with her family.