On a "break".....

[Junket]

I vote END IT!

[Steven M.]

I vote END IT!

'

Put down the pitchfork and torch.....chillax

3 months and the "L" word has already appeared? That doesn't seem a bit too fast? Maybe she wants to kind of "cool things down." Or perhaps she wants to take a break to get a handle on the situation, and think things through.

Realistically, I don't see how a break would make you two stronger. It's just digging yourself a deeper hole IMO. I would suggest talking to her, asking her if you two could get back together, but have her kind of set the pace of the relationship. She wants to have fun, and you want to get really serious. Can you find some middle ground there?

And what did she mean by "taking you for granted"? Odd statement, that.

I thought it was too soon aswell, but I care for her more than most anything, so yeah I said it and I was honest. Like I said, I've known her for more than a year and over our 3 monthes done alot together. I care about her, I wanna do anything for her and that's why I said it, I was being honest.

I'm really not so worried about the pace of the relationship. We had talked about that and I told her that I was gonna do my thing no matter what. I like to think of romantics things to do with her and such......She was fine with that.

My problem lately is she never calls and doesn't really talk to me that much. When we started she used to message me almost every day, no she doesn't call or anything. She never says she misses me. Its pretty much been, I call her, we go out, everything is great and lovey, then the next day when we are apart....nothing, it'll go for a week with nothing, if I don't call. I hate that. Everyone wants to feel wanted and she gets it from me, but from her....not so much when we are not together.

Taking me for granted she said was because I pretty much pay for everything and we do all kinds of stuff she wants to do and I drive an hour and half to see her (When we started she lived 20 mins away, but her parents moved...).

Nearly a year ago, my current gf and I went on our first break. She was going through emotional issues and she didn't think she was ready for a relationship. We had only been officially together for about a month and I figured it was the end. It happened two more times in a two month span after that... so three times in three months of getting back together and then another break. The last time I thought it was over and done. I was ready to move on.

In October, she came back... telling me that it was a mistake... that she was just scared.... wasn't used to feeling this way about anyone and she was trying to convince herself she didn't need me. We got back together on October 9 and things have been simply amazing since. It's been almost nine months since we got back together and we haven't had any problems.

Now you're talking brother......

In your experiences, how long did it last? Did you call her?


As much as I feel like getting down on this whole thing, I don't know why she would tell me what she told me and act like she cared so much. She really seemed to be worried about losing me.

And I don't want to lose her, cause we have so much fun together, but I don't know what to do.


Meanwhile all this has gone on, I came down with Strep throat the day after our break began, so I couldn't really call her until today anyway because I couldn't speak. I figure I'll wait till Monday night or so and call her and see what happens. That way it will have been 10 days or something..

Any other ideas?

[Cain]

We first got together in June of last year. Everything was fine until very early August. We went on our first break. The break didn't last very long. We said we were on a break but still acted as if we were going out, so that didn't work... we needed to make the break more official. So we did. The next real break lasted for about another week, and then she wanted to try to make it work. It lasted up until about the first week in September. She started thinking negatively. She had to, in her opinion, in order to convince herself. She started thinking that she didn't need me, that she didn't see me in her future, and that she didn't love me.

I stopped contact. I figured it was over and I was sick of ping ponging the relationship. I loved her and I was hurt, but I did what I felt was best. I started hanging out with other girls and tried to get my mind off her. I didn't speak to her for nearly a week, and when I did speak with her, it was very brief. She had been sick for nearly the entire week and I sent her my get wells. She said it was nice to see I still cared and she thanked me. She said it meant a lot. That was that for about another week and a half.

I started talking to my friend one night and he was worried about his girlfriend. She hadn't called him all day so he called around and found out that she was in a bad car accident. She was taken to the hospital and was in critical condition. He was a few states away so he couldn't be there immediately. Right when I heard this my heart started pounding. I started imagining this happening to my ex-girl at the time and it hurt. She was gone, at home at her parent's house for the weekend, and I left her a few messages on AIM telling her to be careful and that if anything happened to her it'd kill me. Two days after she got back, she told me that she missed me and missed us. On October 9 we officially got back together.

Things have been amazing since. The final break in my opinion is what solidified the relationship. She couldn't stop thinking about me the whole time and the no contact hurt. She thought she had lost me as well. Giga knows pretty much the whole story. She was the one I talked to when I was having my first problems with my girl.

I just want to say that if you really love this girl... go for it. See if the break will spark something. It might. But only if she's worth it. It's ultimately up to you.

[Steven M.]

Thanks for sharing your experiences Cain, I really appreciate it

Cheers

[Cain]

Thanks for sharing your experiences Cain, I really appreciate it

Cheers

No problem. I hope everything works out for you.