Can one say he likes me? and should I confess him in love?

[DonnaBella]

I crashed on my former professor. I am 22 y.o and he is 33 y.o. He is a chemist scientist who spends most of his life on research, publishing articles, and making experiments. As I know he doesn’t have neither wife nor girlfriend. He was never married. He doesn’t drink alcohol. He is very responsible and self-controlling person. I am not sure about whether he ever had a girlfriend?
When I was taking his class, he helped me a lot; he was always looking at me during class time; he was joking a lot and looking the way I reacted to it, he was teasing me and I just naturally felt his strong attraction to me. My best friend also noticed his special attitude to me. However, after a couple of time, my professor told me that I lack life experience. At that time I didn’t seriously take it. Then I realized what he meant. He actually was saying that I am immature and probably childish for him. But still even after passing his course I saw him in the uni and kind of felt his attraction to me.
I also started to study French and thus asked him for a help. He comes from French region of Belgium. He agreed to help me. However, I was waiting for him for about 4 weeks until he assigns a lesson. I requested a friendship on facebook and accidentally liked one of his posts. After which he blocked me!!!!! At that time I saw I annoyed him probably and just stopped taking to him. However, then I accidentally met him in the uni and asked when will be our French lesson. He told me that he had a a lot of work and that he will give a lesson later as he promised me. Eventually, that day came out. I thought me and he will be alone and speaking French, etc.......... but guess what he did????? he invited to our class HIS COLLEAGUE who is also a French-native speaker. So the three of us went to a coffee house and talked in French. When introducing me to his colleague, my professor told that I am seeking a husband in France; to which I rashly responded that I am not going to marry in my next 10 years because I want to make my career ( I am from very traditional central asian country where girls usually marry early). He was laughing at it and during our conversation he mentioned again about marriage. I don’t know was it a sign ? But he always teased me, so I didn’t pay attention.
Also, I noticed that when we are alone, both of us feel a bit awkward when it comes to speak about something different from lectures or class.
Once me and my mother went to a restaurant where he was sitting with his friends and colleagues. He noticed me and got scared. At first I didn’t notice him but then I felt that someone was staring at me and then hiding after the door. They were sitting in one private room, so when they finished, he went out and wanted to pass unnoticed. Then I saw him and said hi and then introduced my mother to him. He turned red and was very shy. Even my mom noticed it and told me that my professor is very shy. All those small occasions showed me that he is not indifferent to me.
My feelings grew up to him every day. But then I suddenly heart that he is leaving because he accepted a new position in other uni in London. I was very sad about it. I decided to forget him. However, I failed.
After half a year he came to our uni again because of his work and gave a lecture as a guest in our uni to which I came. And guess what? I still like him. He was again looking at me, smiling, joking a lot and teasing. I also tried to speak to him Russian (which is my native language). I know that he learned Russian and wanted to practice it. However, he didn't speak to me in Russian, he always returns to English. I thought he hesitates to speak to me Russian because he doesn't want me to see his mistakes. He arrived only for one week and then left a couple of months ago. I added him as a friend on facebook which he approved this time! Yayyyyyyy!!!!!
I recently graduated from that uni and now I am planning to proceed my studying in London for the reasons not related to him (not in the uni where he works). The fact that he lives there now pushes me to try to start relationships with him. I really do like him a lot. I want to know him better. But from his side there was no initiative which I explained to myself as his shyness or uncertainty and also academic restrictions on the romantic relationships between prof and students.
So I also still have doubts about whether he likes me too or not???? or it was just my fantasy or imagination(hahahah). Can you help me by giving me advice whether it is ok if I take initiative and start dating him ??????? Do I need to confess in love to him or I need to keep silence and wait his confession ???And what kind of tips can you give me?????

[pcmaster]

Well, that's interesting. It's been a long time since I read something so long on a forum. But maybe since saw your story second time here this got my attention.

So yeah interesting story and think that falling so easy in love is immature but you shouldn't confess him. I mean you can and it can work in your favor a lot but it can also scare him away. Think safer would be to write on Fb like - Hey, I live in London now, wanna hang out sometime? - So instead of confessing feelings, safer seems to ask the guy out on the date first. Also, I don't think that being a student is a problem now since you won't be his student anymore. The age difference is not so big so he shouldn't feel like an old perv with you. Actually, one tip - red lipstick makes girls look more mature.

I remember how I once met a girl who doesn't usually meet guys, she was surprised that she agreed to meet - "Whats your plans for tonight? (She answered - "To rest.") It's good that you have such plans cause I want to meet you tonite." - You have to play it smart from the beginning. Put a little thought how you gone get him to meet and don't drag it too long, like ask him out in first five sentences or first half and hour of chatting. Also, one tip is to not send naked Hi! Put it in a sentence at least or better don't write greeting at all cause it's so banal and boring to see it in the text.

I wouldn't say to him that you are in London to study as a first thing. Sure if he asks then answer honestly but it's not something that will help I think. Perhaps to make it less confusing to him why you want to meet, say that you find him interesting and want to know him better or you could say one thing that you admired in him in old days. So he gets an idea why are you after him.

In the end, if it doesn't work then don't worry. There is plenty of fish in London and you could forget him quite fast once you find a new guy and experience new things. Also, there are a lot of pickup artists and even boot camps that help guys and girls to learn to seduce or even start picking up opposite gender. One of them is Kesia Noble boot camp. But there are many more opportunities and ways how to move in that direction. Since you are a girl then tinder or badoo dating app could be more than enough for you in such a big city.

[DonnaBella]

thank you for your answer! you gave really good tips) but how can I show him that I am mature enough and want to start serious relationships with him? what if I invite him for coffee, he will come, we will talk as usually, and he won't phone me back and invite for dating? what if he will still have doubts about me and him?

- - - Updated - - -

Well, that's interesting. It's been a long time since I read something so long on a forum. But maybe since saw your story second time here this got my attention.

So yeah interesting story and think that falling so easy in love is immature but you shouldn't confess him. I mean you can and it can work in your favor a lot but it can also scare him away. Think safer would be to write on Fb like - Hey, I live in London now, wanna hang out sometime? - So instead of confessing feelings, safer seems to ask the guy out on the date first. Also, I don't think that being a student is a problem now since you won't be his student anymore. The age difference is not so big so he shouldn't feel like an old perv with you. Actually, one tip - red lipstick makes girls look more mature.

I remember how I once met a girl who doesn't usually meet guys, she was surprised that she agreed to meet - "Whats your plans for tonight? (She answered - "To rest.") It's good that you have such plans cause I want to meet you tonite." - You have to play it smart from the beginning. Put a little thought how you gone get him to meet and don't drag it too long, like ask him out in first five sentences or first half and hour of chatting. Also, one tip is to not send naked Hi! Put it in a sentence at least or better don't write greeting at all cause it's so banal and boring to see it in the text.

I wouldn't say to him that you are in London to study as a first thing. Sure if he asks then answer honestly but it's not something that will help I think. Perhaps to make it less confusing to him why you want to meet, say that you find him interesting and want to know him better or you could say one thing that you admired in him in old days. So he gets an idea why are you after him.

In the end, if it doesn't work then don't worry. There is plenty of fish in London and you could forget him quite fast once you find a new guy and experience new things. Also, there are a lot of pickup artists and even boot camps that help guys and girls to learn to seduce or even start picking up opposite gender. One of them is Kesia Noble boot camp. But there are many more opportunities and ways how to move in that direction. Since you are a girl then tinder or badoo dating app could be more than enough for you in such a big city.

thank you for your answer! you gave really good tips) but how can I show him that I am mature enough and want to start serious relationships with him? what if I invite him for coffee, he will come, we will talk as usually, and he won't phone me back and invite for dating? what if he will still have doubts about me and him?

[pcmaster]

Well you can't really show it. But you can go straight for what you want and show that you know what you want and wont waste time. Inviting for a coffee is a bit off. When you dont know better or dont like the person then its a good option. But better leave coffee for later when you are 70 years old.

There are more fun things to do. I think date have to be memorable. If you are afraid that you won't meet again then make most of the first date. What you want to do is like go ice skating, sub boarding, claiming artifical wall or watch movies together. Actually there are book called 50 date ideas. Its pretty great and explains how to make dates time, cost effective and increase intimacy. Also it gives tips how to tweak even basic dates. I can share that book with you.

But yeah dating is where it all begins. If you want to start relationship then you need to start dating and then it can go further. You cant skip dating part despite that you want relatioship already right now. Only way would be if you start dating in his or your place. Like netfix and chill and such. But even that gets boring fast and adventures and different experiences are what makes relationship rich.

[Hooo!]

Dating is NOT a crucial part of becoming a pair
It isn’t even necessary

But besides that I agree

I want to add: stop the what if’s
We and you and everyone does not know how this turns out. We can’t.
Maybe it works maybe it doesn’t.

If you know what you want
Take the best route you can to make it happen
Evaluate while doing if it still works and adjust what you are doing accordingly

[Snow White]

I don't want to sound harsh but, it seems like there is a lot of fantasizing and projecting on your part. Because of your attraction to him, you are reading to much into his behaviors. He was your professor and knew enough to keep his relationship with you professional. "I thought me and he will be alone and speaking French, etc.......... but guess what he did????? he invited to our class HIS COLLEAGUE who is also a French-native speaker. So the three of us went to a coffee house and talked in French." If he had any interest in you he would not have done that and the fact that he did shows that he probably felt like you had a crush on him.

Your feelings seem to be one sided and you need to accept that. You are on the verge of being a stalker.