What makes you breakup with someone?

[shh!]

Are you English? Because I've noticed a cultural difference with regards to the importance of dental work.

Advanced periodontal disease is really, REALLY nasty. I'm surprised you wouldn't have noticed this in the beginning - it doesn't pop up overnight. I honestly don't know how you could live with that, and the farting is not a hygiene issue - it is just rude if he can't do it outside your presence. I don't know that ear infections can be linked to bad hygiene, either. Some people are just prone to them. The dandruff can be fixed by changing the type of shampoo he is using. No big deal.

In any case, I don't know what to say, because I could never get past the dental issue, and I am not even one of those people who require absolute dental perfection. You guys have seriously got to figure out some way to get that taken care of. That can really affect the quality of his life (and apparently yours, too).

[whaywardj]

I suspect we have a case of "change the man" here. If that's so, you'll be having such problems, Ready, until you get over that syndrome.

[Pixie]

Blokes always start out with great hygiene, til they get you hooked, than they start feeling all secure, and let it all slip, maybe females are a bit like this too, though not particularly with the washing side of things.
Maybe his self esteem is really low, and cause of that feels there's no point in 'grooming' anymore, probably senses that you've gone off him too, depending on esteem levels it can make some people preen like mad, others i guess it has the opposite effect. But i think that once the attractions gone its gone for good.
Maybe as a last ditch attempt you could try both joining a gym or something, try and boost his confidence and i bet you'll see a change.

[Loner_In_Luv]

Anything can cause a break up, from the slightest thing to like the hugest mistake eva!
I split wiv my bf as loadsa problems started to occur, not coz of him. I miss him!

[Readymade]

Are you English? Because I've noticed a cultural difference with regards to the importance of dental work.

Advanced periodontal disease is really, REALLY nasty. I'm surprised you wouldn't have noticed this in the beginning - it doesn't pop up overnight. I honestly don't know how you could live with that, and the farting is not a hygiene issue - it is just rude if he can't do it outside your presence. I don't know that ear infections can be linked to bad hygiene, either. Some people are just prone to them. The dandruff can be fixed by changing the type of shampoo he is using. No big deal.

In any case, I don't know what to say, because I could never get past the dental issue, and I am not even one of those people who require absolute dental perfection. You guys have seriously got to figure out some way to get that taken care of. That can really affect the quality of his life (and apparently yours, too).

LOL no we're in NYC. I think the English are one of the best looking people in the world. Yeah I'm surprised too. He didnt' have bad breath at first until recently. Now I refused to be kissed by him or drink the same glass from him because the odor is starting to get real funky. Now he wears dentures. He needs to fix ALL his teeth. It's the way he carries these bad habits such as picking his ear infections and sniffing it. I can even smell it, its just as bad as fecal stuff. Sorry I know - GROSS. Also likes to pick at his scalp. There are dandruff on his pillow. I told him to stop doing that. He finally got dandruff shampoos. He's made some improvements but the teeth and the weight I'm bothered by.

How does a person fall apart like this??!! It got me thinking it'll be scary one day if my mate left me if I gained weight or have a disfiguring disease. It's something you can't help feeling. there's a vow to be there for your partner thru thick and thin.

[Readymade]

Blokes always start out with great hygiene, til they get you hooked, than they start feeling all secure, and let it all slip, maybe females are a bit like this too, though not particularly with the washing side of things.
Maybe his self esteem is really low, and cause of that feels there's no point in 'grooming' anymore, probably senses that you've gone off him too, depending on esteem levels it can make some people preen like mad, others i guess it has the opposite effect. But i think that once the attractions gone its gone for good.
Maybe as a last ditch attempt you could try both joining a gym or something, try and boost his confidence and i bet you'll see a change.

He has TOO MUCH confidence. LOL Maybe that is the problem. I agree that once the attraction is gone you can't get it back. True about the gym. I bought him a pedometer but it's now collecting dust. Made me wonder about those plastic surgery shows, if the patients' partner will ever be attracted again.

[shh!]

Omigod, readymade, you are so descriptive I don't know if I should fall off my chair laughing, or run away screaming!

[Tone]

How does a person fall apart like this??!!

Most the time they make the choice to stop caring.

It got me thinking it'll be scary one day if my mate left me if I gained weight or have a disfiguring disease. It's something you can't help feeling. there's a vow to be there for your partner thru thick and thin.

Yeah but not a vow to be there for your partner who chooses to be disgusting in front of you. He could not do those gross things around you and could go to the gym or jog or do SOMETHING to try to correct his weight issue.

[missguided.rose]

*grossed out at this so much she forgets what the topics about*

Hygeine? OH! Breakups.. right right lol.

SO.... cheating, bad hygeine (agreed), not enough chemistry.. there's like so many things it's not even possible to list them all but those have been my experiences and reasons

[JonathanP]

what causes a breakup?

Lack of listening
Lack of appreciation
Lack of attention
Lack of understanding
Lack of compromising

You lose those and the sub sections of each one will start.

ie. Lack of appreciation. If you don't appreciate him/her. Someone else will and that will attract the person to them.

I firmly believe "If you don't take care of them someone else will." It is only a matter of time if your not low enough to brainwash them. It takes two to make a relationship and it takes two to break one.

**edit** oh yeah 30

[missguided.rose]

I firmly believe "If you don't take care of them someone else will." It is only a matter of time if your not low enough to brainwash them. It takes two to make a relationship and it takes two to break one.

Really good response, this bit in particular.