Do we settle more often then not?

[TAVS]

So you think when you're truely "in love" that you don't require any work? You are just in this sunshine and butterflies life from there on out?

No, I dont believe in the sunshine and butterflies stuff except maybe at first. If you're talking long term, life is too complicated for that. I just think you either love someone or you don't. There isn't any grey area. If you love someone you should be willing to work to make the relationship all it can be. If you're not willing to work towards the relationship, then you don't really love someone. Of course that's not always true, because sometimes you just love something else more, like a job etc depending on who you are.

Please know, I'm just talking off the cuff. At this point in life, I find myself questioning love more than before. I'm coming to realize it's not as simple as I once thought. My journey is in progress

[Asip4u]

whaywardj!, Hvala

OV..don't be hatin' now..hehe...but then again, i'm sure you know i'm joking around

[nomas]

In that case, nomas, how do you tell the difference between "settling for" and "having what you want"?

You simply remove words and definitions. I would suggest not caring whether group A thinks I'm settling and group B thinks I have what I want. It's all in me and I don't have to define it and as long as it IS what I want to do with my life, I do it. Just like I said earlier..words confuse the matter. Let's make up a word that means both, having what you want and settling with it..you know?

[Tone]

LOL Asip

And TAVS now I can see what you're saying.

[whaywardj]

nomas -- I think that word already exists: "content."

TAVS -- If you haven't figured it out already, don't take some of the more glib remarks from members (like me!) too seriously. It's just their way of getting a little more elaboration from you. "Love" is very big word. Has as many definitions as there are people to experience it.

[TAVS]

I can appreciate that Whaywardj. I just joined today so I'm not familiar with the 'regulars' yet. I was thinking during the walk I took at lunch, you have to consider the difference between Love and being In Love as well.... Grrr.

[nomas]

nomas -- I think that word already exists: "content."

I guess..but I think the word still leans too much toward "settling". Even "satisfied" doesn't carry enough of a blissful tone.

[artyemi]

Doesn't maintenance take effort?...if so I am screwed. You will probably see my picture under the word "lazy" in the dictionary. I like being lazy though

yes, ov, it takes effort. it's like a car, you need oil change and other things every so often.

[whaywardj]

I'd be happy to check your oil anytime you like, Arty.

[whaywardj]

I was thinking during the walk I took at lunch, you have to consider the difference between Love and being In Love as well.... Grrr.

Yeah. Have seen alot of people give up on loving because the "in love" part had faded. Stupid move as far as I'm concerned, but a lot of people do seem to mistake one for the other.

[artyemi]

I'd be happy to check your oil anytime you like, Arty.

haha. you're crazy!

[TAVS]

Yeah. Have seen alot of people give up on loving because the "in love" part had faded. Stupid move as far as I'm concerned, but a lot of people do seem to mistake one for the other.

I agree 100%. I like the way you put that. People need to learn the value of a rekindled flame.

[artyemi]

Nomas- I think there are two aspect of settling, one which is bad, the other rather positive.

People settle because they find the right one that fulfils them and they find contentment from the relationship. Thus, they don't mind doing the maintenance.

Then, there are those who settle because they are accustomed to someone. They may not actually be that happy and are pretty certain that the relationship is going nowhere. They're not passionate. There's something lacking.

[Only-virgins]

How can a feeling require work?..Relationships require work and effort and love doesnt.

Thats one...and two is.."Love" and "in love" = same shit.

OV..don't be hatin' now..hehe...but then again, i'm sure you know i'm joking around

Ok, here comes OV with something like...Dumbass!..Of course you don't require any work, cause you're in LOVE...and yes you are in sunshine and butterflies life from there on out..it's just so obvious you guys

Hating?..for what?..That is what I would have said.. you even used my favorite word to call other people which is "dumbass"...woot!

My definition of love does not require any decision making. Love is.

Well said.