How to avoid the friend zone?

[Tigger_]

I always end up being a friend whenever i try to get close to someone. its not that i dont want to be friends, but sometimes i wish it could be more than that... but girls always end up being my friend (and close friend at that)

what is it that i might be doing wrong to avoid becoming friends with whoever i have a crush on?

[Tiay]

That problem is usually caused by waiting too long.
Look at this way, when I met my bf, I knew instantly that there was something there, and within a few days, we were taking long moonlit walks, holding hands and hugging each other goodnight. If he hadn't initiated those things, I most probably wouldn't have done them. Girls, including me, are often blind when it comes to noticing that a guy likes them; if he hadn't said 'I like you', I might've let the whole thing slide. (scary!)
so yeah, you gotta do most or all of the initiating, and you gotta do it quickly. Most guys with your problem are shy, so they think to themselves "first I'll get into her life and become her friend, then she'll see how good I am to her and things will develop from there" but they wont.

[Tigger_]

wow, ur so right... you've judged my personality so quickly lol...

so next time i like someone, should i immediately tell her that i like her?

[enterprise]

That problem is usually caused by waiting too long.
Look at this way, when I met my bf, I knew instantly that there was something there, and within a few days, we were taking long moonlit walks, holding hands and hugging each other goodnight. If he hadn't initiated those things, I most probably wouldn't have done them. Girls, including me, are often blind when it comes to noticing that a guy likes them; if he hadn't said 'I like you', I might've let the whole thing slide. (scary!)
so yeah, you gotta do most or all of the initiating, and you gotta do it quickly. Most guys with your problem are shy, so they think to themselves "first I'll get into her life and become her friend, then she'll see how good I am to her and things will develop from there" but they wont.

well i didn't exactly have that mentality but similar enough. i thought if i became her friend i could talk to her without being nervous and tell her but it would end in the same result. so how did he do that in such a short time?

[Tiay]

well, not literally immediately. ie, don't spring it on her. But I'd say you should be able to get there within two weeks- that is, counting the days that you actually get to see her.

how'd my boyfriend do it? Well, first there was flirting. (oh, btw, If a girl flirts back, it's a good sign but it doesn't necessarily mean anything, many girls are just flirty by nature. you don't want to end up being her eternal innocent-flirt-buddy. Girls love that type of guy-friend; we can flirt them to death, but they're not allowed to ever act on it, in fact, we even talk about other guys to them. They are effectively gay.)
We also had some nice conversations, played some network computer games, hung out with friends, etc. (You need this part to determine if she's actually your type)
One night, we were watching a movie, and everyone else got tired and left, leaving us sitting on different couches. So I got up and sat right beside him. He put his arm around me, and I leaned towards him. That was the point at which I knew concretely that he we weren't just having some innocent flirt fun.
We went for a moonlit walk, and sat down somewhere, talked a bit, and he told me he liked me, and of course I liked him back
admittedly we did have lovely romantic scenery at our disposal. If you don't happen to live in beautiful countryside, maybe asking her out is a better idea..
We kept going for walks in order to be alone together. We'd be rolling around in the heather, and holding each other down by the lake- it was freezing out at like 5 AM, but still refusing to go back in. When we did though, I was just going to slip off to bed, but he was like "do I get a goodnight hug?" so he got one my point is the guy usually has to initiate things like that. oh yeah, and all this was within a week. I soo wanted to kiss him by then, but my damn logical mind wouldn't let me kiss a guy I've only known for a few days, so because of the long-distance thing, that part had to wait a few months.

[Tigger_]

yes, very nice and romantic... hope ur relationship lasts... but u see, you did initiate the thing by going and sitting next to him on the couch... so hence, it was really easy for him...

but yes, i agree that the guy has to initiate most of the things...

*keeping my fingers crossed* hope i find someone nice soon lol

[Tiay]

I gave the green light, yes. there are always signals.. or maybe it was kind of a shared initiation? anyway, thanks- two and a half years so far.
good luck (:

[Tigger_]

kewl... 2.5 years, thats almost as long as my undergraduate degree... pooof... good job girl...

[vashti]

Yes, flirt first. Friendly flirting at first, and then more aggressive. Then, ask her out. Don't act like her friend. Girls don't want to date their friends.

[Tiay]

I guess the trick to avoiding the friend zone is to cut out the idea that "first i'll befriend her and then.."
but that's easy to say. the hard part is actually doing it.

[The Great OV!!!]

That problem is usually caused by waiting too long.
Look at this way, when I met my bf, I knew instantly that there was something there, and within a few days, we were taking long moonlit walks, holding hands and hugging each other goodnight. If he hadn't initiated those things, I most probably wouldn't have done them. Girls, including me, are often blind when it comes to noticing that a guy likes them; if he hadn't said 'I like you', I might've let the whole thing slide. (scary!)
so yeah, you gotta do most or all of the initiating, and you gotta do it quickly. Most guys with your problem are shy, so they think to themselves "first I'll get into her life and become her friend, then she'll see how good I am to her and things will develop from there" but they wont.

That is problematic with girls, their stupid as hell. Anyways, I think both play the role so I think you are bit wrong. Women have this non-verbal initiation...they like to tickle, hug, touch, and be playful..even eye contant, phone call, and the tone of her voice is a sign...I wouldn't say shit unless I get some kind of signals first. Get some kind of evidence that she might like you before telling her Tigger.

[qeuestion]

So I have one question after reading this, how would you get rid of the friend zone, if you do like one of your close friends?

[enterprise]

damn why did i have to be shy....ppshhh. Girls should have to do what guys do.

[vashti]

So I have one question after reading this, how would you get rid of the friend zone, if you do like one of your close friends?

It doesn't usually happen, but if it is, you had better be up front about your interest. Be warned, however, that making attempts at crossing over often ruins the friendship. Is she worth it? Are you willing to gamble?

[The Great OV!!!]

It is always worth it.

Pussy > friends.