Hi Everyone...
A really close friend is having a birthday soon and I wanted to get her a birthday present. I never had a problem getting bday/xmas gifts for her. But the situation I'm in makes the gift hard to find...
This girl is my high school ex and we were in a "high school relationship." Basically we'd see each other ever Friday/Saturday at a movie, dinner, shopping, etc. I cared about her a lot, and I believe it was mutual. We never said "I love you" simply because we got together pretty late in high school. But I think it was something that was unspoken. I mean we were friends since the 4th grade. We were never intimate with one another and I'm happy we weren't just because of the situation we were in. I wanted her first to be with a person that could be with her and take care of her all the time.
I was moving away for college (about 200 miles from her) and we both decided to break it off just because we didn't think distant-relationships would work. We talk a few times a month, usually 3-4 hours each conversation. We know almost everything about one another even though we talk less than before.
A few years go by and she started seeing this guy she met. I really liked how she talked about him and how happy he made her. A few months go by and he turns into a jerk. She wants to be with him and I tell her I will support her no matter what. Last night was the 3rd time she called me in the last month needing someone to talk to about their relationship.
Her birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I'm not sure what I should be getting her. When we dated, I did a lot of sentimental stuff for gifts. I set up candle lit picnics on the lake. I asked her to meet me at a coffee shop and serenaded her during the shops open mic night (I've played the guitar since I was 10). I've always been a romantic and a courtly love type of guy. Till this day, she still tells me "He's not the romantic type of guy you are..." and tells me she misses hanging out with me.
So there's my problem, and I apologize for it being so long. But I don't think a romantic picnic or a coffee shop performance would be appropriate for her gift. I hate buying materialistic things just because that's not my type of personality. She has a boyfriend and I respect that, even if he is a jerk. I kept all her notes from the past and I wanted to frame a funny note we had in high school. But again, I think if her boyfriend saw it, he'd be upset. And the last thing I want is for them to get into another argument. He seems to be a jealous type of person from what I hear.
So ladies, I ask you with all my respect and appreciation: what would you consider appropriate for her 22nd birthday? I ask all my guy friends and they end up telling me to take her on a cruise during the summer. Not valid advice in this case. Anything will help. I care about her a lot and I want her to get out of this slump she's been in. So I want to give her something that makes her smile. Yet, I don't want to rub off as if I am her boyfriend (in avoidance of her bf's jealousy).
In all honesty, I don't know if I have feelings for her or not. All I know is that I truly care about her and want her to have a beautiful birthday. Simply because she is a beautiful person, inside and out.