Not ready to settle?

[Rrr]

My bf and I moved in together when we were young. He left after 3 years, and later revealed that the large part of his reason was becase he'd like to move to England for a year to work & stay with his dads family, it's his childhood dream. We've been on off a lot since then, each time we split seems because I suffocate him, and we get back together cuz we love eachother. He loves me, but he is having fun going to parties and such, and really doesn't want to be in a relationship when he goes to England. I said I'd wait but he doens't want to do that. He really is a free spirit, but i'm a settling-down type lol. He ALWAYS said 'we'd be so damn perfect if we just met later in life'. I don't want him to resent me later on... I'm just so afraid that if i back off i'll loose him. I'd love to get back together after he comes home from England...

I read somewhere women stick to the ones they love, but men stick to whoever they're with if they happen to be around when they're ready to settle :O!

So yeah, does anyone have any thoughts? Do you think he'd move on and forget me if I let him have his freedom while he's still young? Do you men relate to how my guy feels? Or is this a stupid situation that I shold just let go. Has anyone else been in this situation?

[Cain]

If he wants his freedom, he's going to have it whether you think you're letting him or not.

How long is he going to be in England?

[Gribble]

If he loses you he can always find someone else. No offense, but that's how the game is played. If he doesn't go to England and instead settles down he probably won't get a second shot at his dream. If you love him you should encourage him to pursue his dreams. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. Don't hold your breath.

[Hollywood]

They're right. If he wants to be free... HE WILL. With or without you. You'll end up ruining your relationship big time.


Edit to Add:
Look at this way. Respect the honesty he is giving you. Because if he stays with you, he will betray you. He wants to be free. Let him go.

[ecojeanne]

i agree with everyone, its heartbreaking but unfortunately he doesnt feel the same way about u.....aren't u worth more? ur better off letting this guy go for good and move on to someone who will appreciate u. There is no point 'waiting' because he wont wait for u. life is full of dissapontments but thankfully its also full of happy surprises....this might well give u the opportunity to meet the right guy for u. this could be fate....its best for ur self worth not to hang on to something thats not there...be strong!!! i feel ur pain.

[nbfsb]

if he truly loves you,he shall never leave you..

ask him,isn't love enough to make you stay..

[Charlie Boy II]

^^^ what a stupid attitude. When you're young, relationships shouldn't get in the way of this sort of thing because the overwhelming majority of them don't last. So you end up with nothing but a sour taste in your mouth and missed opportunities.

I was with my girlfriend for a year before I left to go overseas. We broke up while I was away but kept in contact. Nine months on I just arrived home and we're now back together. If we'd stayed together I highly doubt we would have made it, it's just too much pressure.

[DeTroit_4Win]

if he truly loves you,he shall never leave you..

ask him,isn't love enough to make you stay..

and what if he says no...

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

if he truly loves you,he shall never leave you..

ask him,isn't love enough to make you stay..

I completely disagree with this post. Now you're trying to bribe him, and if it were to work, in the long run I guarantee he would resent his decision of sticking around instead of doing what he wanted to do before he even knew you existed. If YOU love HIM then YOU would let HIM fulfill his dream. He already is clearly saying he doesnt want to be with you in a nice way. Dont get your hopes up for a more than likely failure. Yea, its easier said than done to say "Let go", but from the looks of things, holding on will hurt way more in the end than letting go now. He wants to live his young life without being tied down, which includes being in a relationship. His mindset and your mindset are two different mindsets, so its gonna fail. He might dump you for "moving too fast" with the settling down talk. I say walk away from it before you get your heart broken when he straight up tells you he doesnt want anything to do with you.