so sick of punks who doesn't know how to please a women

[Junket]

You can't expect to change a person beyond a certain level and if that level doesn't suit your requirements then you will have to change yourself (or "mold" yourself) or learn to live with it.

Now, this is very true.

[IndiReloaded]

i was actually quoting a French philosopher with that statement. it's tremendous to see how people react when they are not aware that the statement actually belongs to an acknowledged and respected individual.

Lol, so now we are resorting to Authority? Holy rhetoric, batman. It doesn't matter who said what & how famous they are. They can still be wrong, or their original meaning can be misunderstood. I've personally met a couple of Nobel Laureates. They are very intelligent, nice guys but they are still just ppl.

Ideas should get judged for their merit, regardless of who came up with them.

Now, as for your comment, it is just silly. You cannot manipulate whoever you want into a good partner. I think I know what you are *trying* to say, but I think you need to say it better. Since I seem to remember you hope to help ppl with this kind of thing as an occupation perhaps you want to try to communicate this idea better? If ppl here disagree, you are certainly aren't going to do much better convincing your clients.

[Indignant]

Now, as for your comment, it is just silly. You cannot manipulate whoever you want into a good partner. I think I know what you are *trying* to say, but I think you need to say it better. Since I seem to remember you hope to help ppl with this kind of thing as an occupation perhaps you want to try to communicate this idea better? If ppl here disagree, you are certainly aren't going to do much better convincing your clients.

Indi, I never mentioned anything about clients. I work in accounting. my english may not be up to par with most people here since it's not my first language therefore I may not communicate or express my thoughts correctly. Any russians who can help me translate my ideas here?

[Junket]

Read what Mish said, that's more accurate.

[IndiReloaded]

Though it's true to some extent, there are obvious limitations to how much a person can be "molded". You can't expect to change a person beyond a certain level and if that level doesn't suit your requirements then you will have to change yourself (or "mold" yourself) or learn to live with it.

The basic difference here is one of intent.

"Manipulate" has the connotation of subtle coercion. Sometimes without the recipients knowledge. For various reasons that I won't go into, this simply doesn't work for *long term* relationships. It is certainly possible to do, tho for short term outcomes.

What Indignant means (or should mean) is "negotiate", with all the ways that can happen. And for now that's all I'll say, except for this hint: sources of motivation.

[IndiReloaded]

Indi, I never mentioned anything about clients. I work in accounting. my english may not be up to par with most people here since it's not my first language therefore I may not communicate or express my thoughts correctly. Any russians who can help me translate my ideas here?

Ah, my mistake then. I must be thinking of someone else. Sorry, carry on.

PS - your english is just fine, no worries. Way better than my Russian.

[Indignant]

Read what Mish said, that's more accurate.

it's an obvious that we change as well. did i not mention it previously?

[IndiReloaded]

it's an obvious that we change as well. did i not mention it previously?

Are you married, Indignant? Just curious.

[Indignant]

What Indignant means (or should mean) is "negotiate", with all the ways that can happen. And for now that's all I'll say, except for this hint: sources of motivation.

i guess i should've used the word "guide", we guide our partners in the direction that we like them to take. we compromise to make sure that both of us are following the same path.

[IndiReloaded]

And you believe this 'guiding' process will work with any old partner? I can just grab some random guy off the street and 'mold' him into my perfect partner?

[Indignant]

to some extent all of us are "moldable." many times we quit our relationships when we don't get the expected result. i am very picky myself, but when i do find a guy who is worth my time, then i do everything possible to make sure that both of us are satisfied with this relationship and invest all of my time and energy into him.

[vashti]

Just to remind you, the word manipulation, in terms of relationships, has a negative connotation.

LOL! I think I have a fairly good grasp of the English language. Anyway, to manipulate is to influence. You can attach negative meaning if you choose, but it isn't inherent to the word.

That's right; I'm taking back the English language.

[IndiReloaded]

FWIW, Vash, I also don't have a problem with manipulation. Its just a tool. But, as you can see, some ppl do. This is one of those 'emotionally charged' words that screw ppl up, usually b/c of something to do with their upbringing. I think its something ppl get over as they start to become more self-possessed & become resigned about certain 'truths' about 'How The World Works'.

[vashti]

Yes, for the benefit of the sensitive people, I will use "positive reinforcement".

[IndiReloaded]

Sucks, tho, eh? Takes so much longer to write.