What makes you want to marry?

[CAM]

And I'm not anti-woman either. The modern woman, however, is a very different breed of cat from even 25 years ago...women, particularly middle class American and many European women, have changed in rather extreme ways. It is not a suprise to find that women from developing nations (and women from strong traditional families in the US) are more aware of my good qualities. I have great admiration for a solid minded, committed, working class traditional woman.

[bluesummer]

I want to clarify that that was a facetious comment.

Ha ha.....yeah Fras. I got that.

I hate this argument. Of course single men are griping about marriage. We see what a crock of shit it is and we avoid it like the plague. That's like saying I should throw myself into a fire before telling people that self-immolation hurts like a bitch.

Don't get me wrong. Congrats on the marriage and I wish you well.

K, thanks.

There's a definite pattern to the personality types of men who say these things, though.....and I don't mean an overabundance of intelligence that is absent in married or willing-to-be-married men. Just cynicism and displeasure at something in their life, their circumstances, or who they are as a person. Either that or they fear being vulnerable. I would run like hell from a man that hated marriage, it tells me he's got some deep rooted issues I'm not willing to deal with. It's one thing not to want to get married. Whatever, that's everyone's choice. To talk about it like it's equivalent to having a hot poker rammmed up your ass is indicative of something quite different, something a little off.

Afterthought: something I said to my mom last week: It's truly unfortunate that most people aren't going to ever experience the kind of love that makes you want to commit. Those who despise the idea of commitment have even more terrible odds. Too bad. My fiance and our relationship has added dimension to my life in such a way I could never have comprehended.

I personally can't think of one thing about marriage that is negative, honestly. The issue comes about that most people choose badly, and it's their own stupid fault.

[hurt_confuzd]

I personally can't think of one thing about marriage that is negative, honestly. The issue comes about that most people choose badly, and it's their own stupid fault.

Really? Not one thing?

How about [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_marriage]an entire Wikipedia article's worth[/url]?

[sookie6]

i want to marry to become family with my lover and that's it.

[hurt_confuzd]

i want to marry to become family with my lover and that's it.

Ton anglais me fait rigoler.

[bluesummer]

Really? Not one thing?

How about [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_marriage]an entire Wikipedia article's worth[/url]?

Yes, because everything posted on Wikipedia is relevant information we should use to make important life decisions and/or use as the basis for our personal opinion.

Yikes.

[IndiReloaded]

I personally can't think of one thing about marriage that is negative, honestly. The issue comes about that most people choose badly, and it's their own stupid fault.

I would say you are one of the few individuals who can actually state this with a straight face, given what you've been through. In fact, that you CAN still say this says a lot of good things about you, BlueSum.

I can certainly think of negatives. But I would say, on balance that a good marriage is worth far more than a 'good single', such as it is.

[TheTooya]

Yes, because everything posted on Wikipedia is relevant information we should use to make important life decisions and/or use as the basis for our personal opinion.

Yikes.

His point is there are cons to getting married. Which, to some extent, I can agree with.

[IndiReloaded]

I wouldn't disagree with you. Love is one thing, but marriage is about commitment. Commitment might mean that while he/she is doing great financially today, that might not last. Is one committed beyond the possibly transitory conditions that first made for superficial attraction? I think that is an important question to consider. I think saying that is worth taking his/her last name and marrying him/her is worth it because of a financial benefit at the moment is very shallow and personifies the problems of modern marriage.

How many people do I know that say, "We both like to hike and ski!" Yeah, but is that the solid foundation for commitment? Or, he's worth a mint. Yeah, but that might change.

No argument from me on these points.

The women--the daughters of those parents--they find all of that boring. They want Mr. Excitement even if he's not even got a pot to piss in or a dollar to his name. The generic attractive guy that they like is not committed to anything but himself or is immature or has baggage from past mistakes. They trust those characteristics because they understand that. They don't trust my charactertistics because they are foreign to the women's experience and it scares them that if I am committed that they might also have to be committed...a responsibility that they can't handle.

You are throwing the baby out with the bathwater, IMO. There are definitely women out there who appreciate such character. Where are they? When you date, the quickest triage would probably be to ask about her parents. If they are still married and mom fits "a solid minded, committed, working class traditional woman", then chances are higher your new date will too.

[Mish]

Really? Not one thing?

How about [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_marriage]an entire Wikipedia article's worth[/url]?

One page of ancient redundant arguments? I thought I'd find a lot more than that here.

Here's an entire Wikipedia article's worth on criticism of Science [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_science]Criticism of science - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url] You logic driven heathens! Embrace the turth, the Wikipedia has spoken.

[Mish]

There's a definite pattern to the personality types of men who say these things, though.....and I don't mean an overabundance of intelligence that is absent in married or willing-to-be-married men. Just cynicism and displeasure at something in their life, their circumstances, or who they are as a person. Either that or they fear being vulnerable.

Does it really surprise you that a bunch of single guys who don't have any plans to start a family soon will be against marriage? Uh Duh. A lazy person likewise will find a million reasons not to work, they'll blame the government, the society, the masonic lodge and their global conspiracy and probably many others and then use it to show how them not working and therefore not feeding a "global tyranny" makes perfect sense. It's only when they desperately need the money to survive when they will most likely get off their back sides, find a job and stop complaining. People complaining about marriage today, most of them will get married when they're ready to have children and start a stable family in the future. Only the very few stoic ones who resist marriage on some hardcore ideological principles will not. Things like that, they ussually sort themselves out. There's no point in arguing.

[Junket]

Does it really surprise you that a bunch of single guys who don't have any plans to start a family soon will be against marriage? Uh Duh. A lazy person likewise will find a million reasons not to work, they'll blame the government, the society, the masonic lodge and their global conspiracy and probably many others and then use it to show how them not working and therefore not feeding a "global tyranny" makes perfect sense. It's only when they desperately need the money to survive when they will most likely get off their back sides, find a job and stop complaining. People complaining about marriage today, most of them will get married when they're ready to have children and start a stable family in the future. Only the very few stoic ones who resist marriage on some hardcore ideological principles will not. Things like that, they ussually sort themselves out. There's no point in arguing.

I see marriage in my future.

To be honest.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah, I actually really want to get married in a few years. I like the idea of it, and I can't imagine how sick of man-whoring I'd be in ten years anyway esp when my looks have faded and no one's that interested anyway.

[EnjoyingLife]

Ha ha that's funny Charlie Boy II! Marriage is great when you are compatible with each other and both want to start a family. But really, your man/woman proposing is enough of a commitment until you want to have children. You can be a very happy couple without the marriage but you need some sort of commitment to know that you both are not wasting each other's time!

[jrharvey]

I wanted to marry this girl once. I wasnt at that stage in my life yet but I truly felt that I could spend the rest of my life with her and NEVER want anyone else. I was just that in love with her. It didnt work out for us but the feelings were still real regardless. I was never thinking of stability or kids or money or a job or anything else.