Why are so many people in their 20s taking so long to grow up?

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah I love my extended adolescence. It's like going back to school when you're older and you know everything. Why on earth would I marry etc now?? There's so much time for that. Even if I marry at 35 and live till I'm 75 - that's still forty f-cking years of marriage!! Why get married in your early twenties? So you can be married for fifty years, instead of forty??

Also very good post Mish.

[asdfg789]

Life expectancy is longer. I'm not surprised that this delays the maturing process.

Not sure if you have seen this ... it seems physical development is outpacing mental maturity

[url=http://edition.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/08/09/girls.starting.puberty.early/index.html#fbid=xVlhn4ACfrJ&wom=false]Study: More U.S. girls starting puberty early - CNN.com[/url]

[Gigabitch]

Why are people in their 20's taking so long to grow up? Because growing up ain't what it used to be.

The "American Dream" of going to college, buying your own house and starting a family has recently been shown to be a bad freaking gamble. Two generations ago, college cost a fraction of what it costs now, marriages seemed likely to last more often than not and the rule was that real estate NEVER lost it's value.

Where are we now? Some Bizarro World where none of these things are true any more. People in their 20's are taking longer to grow up because there's just no reason why they would want to.

[girl68]

Her initial arugment was my decision to have babies later is unfair to my husband and children because I'm too old oh that and I'm going to be dumped in 10 years.

[asdfg789]

girl68, Lailak and lahnnabell

I, for one, agree with you that there should be no rush to getting hitch. Experiencing life, getting an education, becoming financially independent are all important.

But, for ladies, marrying and having children late does have disadvantages:

1. if u subscribe to the practice of marrying someone around 5 years older (so that mental age are equal, men being less matured), there will be a significantly smaller pool of eligible men by the time u hit 30

2. for those getting advanced degrees, there are men out there who will not marry up ie they are uncomfortable with a spouse being more qualified academically, so again the pool of eligible men shrinks

3. difficulty conceiving - not everyone is blessed to be able to have kids as and when they want them. i believe 35 is the age after which the risks increases significantly. Say u marry at 30, want to have honeymoon time with husband for another 2 years. u only have 3 years of safe reproductive years left

4. energy to care for children - u can imagine the difference in energy level between a 25 and 35 year old mother

Mish rightly said that everyone has to find what works for them. But it is good to be able to make decisions while fully aware of the pros and cons.

[girl68]

girl68, Lailak and lahnnabell

I, for one, agree with you that there should be no rush to getting hitch. Experiencing life, getting an education, becoming financially independent are all important.

But, for ladies, marrying and having children late does have disadvantages:

1. if u subscribe to the practice of marrying someone around 5 years older (so that mental age are equal, men being less matured), there will be a significantly smaller pool of eligible men by the time u hit 30

2. for those getting advanced degrees, there are men out there who will not marry up ie they are uncomfortable with a spouse being more qualified academically, so again the pool of eligible men shrinks

3. difficulty conceiving - not everyone is blessed to be able to have kids as and when they want them. i believe 35 is the age after which the risks increases significantly. Say u marry at 30, want to have honeymoon time with husband for another 2 years. u only have 3 years of safe reproductive years left

4. energy to care for children - u can imagine the difference in energy level between a 25 and 35 year old mother

1-I'm set according to your list: I have my life partner
2-A man who can't be with me becasue I'm too smart- well maybe truth but I'd rather be smart and successful then stupid and married. Again- I've found my life partner he's trilled I'm in school.
3-I realize the heath risks associated with birth later- that risk is just fine by us. If it don't work adoption is a wonderful, welcomed alternative.
4-I'm a lively, very healthy, active woman- should I maintain myself properly caring for children at 35 won't be an issue.

[Indignant]

4-I'm a lively, very healthy, active woman- should I maintain myself properly caring for children at 35 won't be an issue.

are there any 35+ ladies who would like to disagree with that statement? or men for that fact?

[misombra]

eh. 20 somethings think they know everything already. the new teenagers.

everything is simple.

[Indignant]

i used to think the same way at that age. adopting children, being forever young and energetic, etc, and look at me now. nothing but an old fart. blah.

[girl68]

LOL- I didn't say that ^

[Indignant]

i did we are all gonna die eventually

[dewilliams2]

My parents had trouble...mom had trouble carrying. She had 10 miscarriages before she had me. So mom was 30 when she had me. With that said I think my parents did a better job for being older and more responsible. The only problem I ever had with it is like now I wish they were a little younger...I mean mom and dad are like 53-54....not really old but in the same sense I can see them starting to get problems health wise....like mom had to get a knee replacement, dad is losing his eye sight. Stuff like that has me worried. I want them to be around and be healthy for a long time.

[Indignant]

My parents had trouble...mom had trouble carrying. She had 10 miscarriages before she had me. So mom was 30 when she had me. With that said I think my parents did a better job for being older and more responsible. The only problem I ever had with it is like now I wish they were a little younger...I mean mom and dad are like 53-54....not really old but in the same sense I can see them starting to get problems health wise....like mom had to get a knee replacement, dad is losing his eye sight. Stuff like that has me worried. I want them to be around and be healthy for a long time.

this just made me cry on the inside...

[Gigabitch]

4-I'm a lively, very healthy, active woman- should I maintain myself properly caring for children at 35 won't be an issue.

are there any 35+ ladies who would like to disagree with that statement? or men for that fact?

Nope. I totally agree with that statement. I'm better equipped to take care of an infant now than I was when I had my daughter 12 years ago. It's not all about energy. Work smarter, not harder, right?

[dewilliams2]

this just made me cry on the inside...

I didn't mean that...I'm sorry.