REVENGE on my ex

[elleda]

This is an email I am DYING to send to my ex. If I get 5 votes from this forum, I will send it!!

BACKSTORY: We dated for 6 months and fought constantly over his ex-girlfriend who is his "best friend". The two of them have no sexual chemistry but are addicted to each other.

I didn't realize they were hanging out 3-4 times a week for the first few months we were together (We once broke up because he refused to give up their weekly dinner date where she would cook for him and they'd listen to music in her apartment..of course I'd never been invited once). He would invite her to group get togethers and she was always polite but dismissive of me. She basically wanted to pretend I didn't exist.

He was always doing favors for her and it drove me nuts! Picking her up and driving her places (she has a car), fixing her car (which she never drove because she had him as a chauffeur), helping her go shopping for clothes or groceries.

He said she admitted that she needs to feel "rescued" and casually told him that she is much like her mom who basically went crazy and homeless when her dad left her (is this not a manipulative thing to tell someone who cares about you but has a girlfriend and wants to move on??? i'm just so disgusted)

Apparently she has social anxiety, depression etc etc yada excuse yada yada. He has also told me in the past that when he told her our relationship issues about her, she admitted that she relies on him too much, and is probably codependent......................but of course, she didn't change a single thing. and he allowed it...blah blah shining knight blah.


After we broke up AGAIN the other night, he texted me thanks for some things I had done. I replied and said we could still meet up to talk like we had arranged before (DUMB! yes, I know). He said it might be for the better if we didn't. I agreed. Then, suddenly, 6 hours later, he says he's been thinking and we should meet still up if I want to. So I said ok (YES, I KNOW....)

I get there and the first thing he says to me is how she called him earlier reluctantly asking him for a ride (because she knew I didn't want him being her mansla...er, giving her rides) and he was like "HEY it's cool i can drive you because we broke up!" and then they proceeded to talk about me.

As I'm sitting there listening to this, I realize that he just invited me there after he had talked to her, to make me feel like $hit and get back at me for breaking up with him. It was like he had even rehearsed all of the rotten things he said. AND THEN had the nerve to try and convince me to come over and "Watch a movie" with him after......LOL!!!

When I was leaving after our "talk" (during which he admitted that he hadn't told me he had cheated on this girl when they were together) I told him that it was finally goodye and he was like "NO no...we always say that. it's not over because one of us call the other in a week. you know it."

I was speechless. confused. I didn't answer.

He said see you later and left.

I don't want to see him later. Well, maybe I do because he had gorgeous hair and gave me some grade A d***..... LOL!!!

But he is an a**** in disguise and I would feel pretty sad about myself if I did see him again...even if it was just for sex.

I have taken the high road this WHOLE time while those pathetic dumb asses disrespected me. I have always been the woman telling my friends not to put with stuff, I'm successful, confident and independent. I can't believe I got dragged into this disgusting, epic eff up!

I think I could get across the fact that I DON'T want to see him "later", and finally have some feeling of vindication by sending this email and then going nc and forgetting that those two dimwits draw breath.

Should I send it?

Also any other comments welcome.


"I suppose I might have guessed that the reason your ex-girlfriend has your testicles in her back pocket had to do with something you had done.

I supppose I shouldn't be surprised to hear that coming from someone who rationalized messing around with a prostitute as not technically cheating. (he confessed to me that he did this out of desperation when they were together- she wouldn't have sex with him. she still has no idea that he did that)

Your "relationship" is built on ill-justified lies.

Now I know the answer to the question I asked you that night at the pub! (One night we were talking and I said I don't understand their relationship because I don't know why anyone would not want to be with him. The greatest look of hurt came over his face. It made me seriously question his insistence that their breakup was "mutual". I was right- it hadn't been)

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

You were the worst relationship mistake I have EVER made. Also, the worst boyfriend I (and it sounds like M) have EVER had. Seriously.

I feel like I should feel sorry for you because you are, completely honestly, the most messed up young man I have EVER met in my entire life. But I don't because I could have helped you. I was the best you will ever have and you just shit all over that. For what? lol

I stayed with you for longer than I wanted to because of my cat. (I couldn't keep my cat where I'm living so he lived at my bf's place.)

Steph has always (rightfully) wondered why I was even going out with you, constantly urging me to dump you (part of why I did it so often) and set me up with someone else who I have been/am seeing.

Funny, looks like "the universe" has given you your karma after all."

[MerryH]

Don't send it. It's juvenile and petty and hurtful and makes you look like the bad guy/crazy ex. Are you not better than this?

I bet you'd feel much better about yourself in the long run if you just take the high road and ignore them both forever.

[surfhb]

Yep! You sound like an asshole and have the maturity level of my 10 yr old daughter

[mehwhatcanyoudo]

just set his house on fire

[MaidenMinx]

Write out what you'd want him to read by hand and burn the letter. It's very cathartic.

[Jenswaiting]

Sorry to be cliched, but revenge is a dish best served cold. Don't bother with him any more. I agree with MM, write the letter, burn it and get on with your life.

[hello1]

Sorry but I am so fed up with reading your posts. You say over and over again you broke up with him, its over etc and guess what you never do. You are a weak woman, sorry but you are and you know it as you cannot let this guy go. Admit it to yourself, your feel better!

Im so annoyed!

If you post another thread you broken up/got back together it should be deleted. Takes the total piss out of this forum.

I advise other love forum posters to not bother with the OP as she never takes any advice and you are wasting your time.

[hello1]

It really pisses me off I gave you advice several times and each time you gone back too him though you always went off you never were. It annoys me so much women like you, you are so pathetic. I hear another this crap in real life, I don't want come to a forum and hear it. Say this to your friends, not online.

You come to a forum for ADVICE, you don't keep coming here asking for advice...not taking it....asking for advice....not taking it....

GET LOST

[maxmax]

I thought you were over him already?

This is not being 'over' him.

Shrugging your shoulders and moving on is being 'over' him.

[elleda]

Thanks everyone for your replies!

....TRUST ME. I am baffled, confused and HORRIFIED by my behaviour as well. That's why I come on here to post- I am far too embarassed to talk to anyone about this in real life.

I realized how hilarious that email was when I read it posted here. I am glad that I didn't send it.

I am going nc for realsies this time!!! i swear it!!!! lol

[elleda]

Shrugging your shoulders and moving on is being 'over' him.

amen.

ok, i'm on it!

[smackie9]

Ummm yer crazy, borderline obsessive. You need to be getting your head examined for staying with him that long. Next time choose more wisely and at the first sign of BS like that, have some self worth and dump his ass.

[elleda]

It really pisses me off I gave you advice several times and each time you gone back too him though you always went off you never were. It annoys me so much women like you, you are so pathetic. I hear another this crap in real life, I don't want come to a forum and hear it. Say this to your friends, not online.

You come to a forum for ADVICE, you don't keep coming here asking for advice...not taking it....asking for advice....not taking it....

GET LOST

ok... i was taken aback by your strong reaction and what seemed to be overreacting.

so i went back and checked my posts about this topic. i had no idea. there are like 80 of them

i think this horrible obsession might have something to do with my grief over my mother's death and the subsequent depression. it made me more vulnerable than i have ever been.

still, i didn't realize how obsessed i seem. i am going to seek help. thanks for your advice in the past. wish i had listened

[ConniptionFit]

ok... i was taken aback by your strong reaction and what seemed to be overreacting.

so i went back and checked my posts about this topic. i had no idea. there are like 80 of them

i think this horrible obsession might have something to do with my grief over my mother's death and the subsequent depression. it made me more vulnerable than i have ever been.

still, i didn't realize how obsessed i seem. i am going to seek help. thanks for your advice in the past. wish i had listened

You are more co-dependent than his ex.

[smackie9]

ok... i was taken aback by your strong reaction and what seemed to be overreacting.

so i went back and checked my posts about this topic. i had no idea. there are like 80 of them

i think this horrible obsession might have something to do with my grief over my mother's death and the subsequent depression. it made me more vulnerable than i have ever been.

still, i didn't realize how obsessed i seem. i am going to seek help. thanks for your advice in the past. wish i had listened

I went through the same thing when my dad passed away. I was going to the bar a lot and drinking heavily...emotionally went off the rails for a bit, so I can relate for sure. You make bad choices without even realizing it. Good luck on your recovery.