Feeling a little lonely.

[JadenMia]

Hey all! I just wanted to come here again and type some of my feelings out as im feeling a little blue lately again.

Its been a while now since i have been single, time has just been passing by so quickly i forget how long its been since i broke up with my ex. I have a new job, feeling a little vulnerable but alot less stressed here. Its not as sociable so maybe thats why i feel lonely these days.
My best friend(?) comes in and out of my life, she acts like shes a best friend at times, yet other times i dont hear or see her for weeks. It kind of gets me down as i feel i have nobody in my life right now except me and my daughter, obviously its nice at times, but when the day is done, its just me and i have nothing left to do but go to bed alone and wait for the next struggle of a day to come. Sigh.

I just sometimes think 'is this all its ever going to be?' the same thing everyday. Blah. Just gets me down.
Sometimes i just wish i had that someone to share my day with, my feelings with. All the laughs i have with my daughter, i just wish i could share it with someone..
Its gotten to the point i even miss my daughters dad. Which is wrong.. But i cant help it. Today i took my girl swimming and i felt tears filling up my eyes remembering what a good time me and her dad had. UGH.
I guess my rant is over.. Im just feeling sorry for myself lol Thanks for reading.

[pisces25]

We all go through times like this. Even people like me who are happily single and generally enjoy their own company. I too hope one day I have someone to laugh with, love with and live with and I know it will come. Keep reminding yourself better to be alone than in an unhealthy relationship. You have done so well to not fall back into his trap, be really proud of that. You are taking what seems the harder road but the journey will be smoother.

These feelings will pass

[JadenMia]

Thankyou.
I agree it is better to be alone than in an unhealthy relationship.. But it feels the opposite sometimes i dont know why..
This loneliness is just SO overwhelming..

[Rawr]

I understand how you feel, but my feeling of loneliness stems from my childhood when I lived in a big house with 3 maids and none of my parents were there to take care of me. Enough about me, here's my opinion. Your bestfriend is still your bestfriend if she's there when you need her, she has her own life too, and if she's really your bestfriend she will be there to listen to your rant. Some of my bestfriends I haven't seen in 10 years, but I know if I come visit them or even to have someone to talk to right now, they' will be there for me. They're not constantly on my back on the look out and walk together hand in hand like we did in highschool. Same goes for me, if they need anything, I'll help them.

Do something different, maybe join a speed date event? Remember to have fun and make this your goal, and not expecting to get a date. No expectation, no disappointment. Call your friends and neighbors do something together, bbq parties maybe? or if you don't have the time just join their parties instead. Learn something new, see if they have evening classes that you're interested in, bring your daughter with you so she could join the fun. Learn martial arts, etc. So many things to do!

It's not the same as having someone to listen to you and be there for you as a man, but it distracts you from loneliness and it keeps you motivated you put yourself out there and ergo you will have a better chance in meeting the right man.

Good luck!

[JadenMia]

Thanks Rawr!
Thats the thing about my friend though, it really does seem like if nobody else is around, she will give me a call. I have text/called her before just to chat, and she wont even reply or answer. I makes me feel even worse...lol Because i moved here from a different country i dont have many friends and because of my living arrangements i cant have friends over to visit, its a crappy situation which i hope to get out of asap.
Im going to keep my chin up though and keep on rockin'! I guess things can only get better!

[MaidenMinx]

Yay for the new job! Sounds like you're walking down a different street.

These feelings will fade with time Jaden. You have more strength than you know about. Keep plugging away.

[JadenMia]

Yay for the new job! Sounds like you're walking down a different street.

These feelings will fade with time Jaden. You have more strength than you know about. Keep plugging away.

Hey, it does feel like im walking down a different street! I think i just have little phases where i start thinking too much into things, my 'over thinking' gets me at the best of times i guess! lol Also, i know because i feel like this, tthat i am still not completely happy being on my own. It is definitely something to work on.

I have a small question, im going to post it here instead of starting a new thread.. But im not sure what to do.

I am learning to drive, i feel so close to being ready for my test i am excited!! New independance here i come!!
The reason i waited so long was because i couldnt find anyone to help teach me how to drive and i couldnt afford the lessons, their *expensive*. Well, i know a guy who i met through a friend and he offered to take me out to teach me everytime he was home from work, so i accepted happily. Well, now he has taken me a few times, i am so grateful for the time he has put into helping me, but last night he text me after we had finished driving and said i owed him big time. He was just joking, he is a funny guy so i said of course i do, i couldnt thank you enough! But then he asked if he could take me on a date, and told me i was the most beautiful girl he had ever known... Yikes!
It kind of took me off guard, but i guess i should have seen it coming... lol

Now i feel bad, i almost feel obliged to give him a chance for everything he has done for me, but i dont find him attractive so i know it would be a horrible thing to do. I dont want him to feel like i have completely used him for his kindness, i think of him as a friend and nothing more, and im going to feel really bad when i say no. lol I was a chicken and said 'well, maybe, im not looking to go on dates right now as im trying to heal up from 'A-hole ex'.

What is the best thing to say to decline? Like i said, i dont want to feel like a bitch and have him feel i used him, but im not interested in him like that... Ugh, i feel bad. lol

[devonbrown]

Hang in there, JadenMia. And think of this time as an opportunity to fall in love with yourself. I know that might sound a little strange, but instead of thinking about being lonely, think about things that you like, that you do, etc. that make you happy. Think about all that you have to offer. Continue to build yourself up and just know that someone out there will realize your greatness one day.

Take care!

[HeartIsAching]

I think it's a good idea for you to be single for a while - you need to learn to be comfortable with yourself, by yourself. To learn that JadenMia is pretty awesome and doesn't need someone else to make her happy.

When you meet the right guy, you'll be more ready for him than you are now... and you WILL meet him.

[JadenMia]

Thats a great way to look at it, 'falling in love with myself'.. i like that! I am a pretty unique, awesome person and i should take more time to make myself happy, iv spent so long trying to please someone, i think im just starting to get the hang of putting myself in front of others, minus my daughter of course, but yeah. I do like this me time, i think just money worries me a lot and gets me down.. But things are slowly falling into place more than ever it seems.

I agree HeartIsAching, i definitely do need to be single for a long time. I couldnt imagine being with anyone else at this point or meeting anyone to be honest. I think thats partly why i am missing what i have already had not longing for someone new.. Like missing my daughters father is absolutely absurd and i have to smack myself out of that mind frame at times and remind myself of what a prat he is, including my recent ex.
Thanks again guys!