Hey guys, I met someone from another country about two years ago - after a brief in-person meeting, we developed a Skype friendship over the following six months. A widower, he is very sweet, kind, considerate, and helped me through some very difficult times in my life. Despite the distance, we fell in love...for a while I planned on spending the rest of my life with him (I am older than 35, have been in some good, solid romantic relationships in my life, and am a pretty good mate if I do say so). After just two very short visits (2 days each) the next 5 months, I managed my first long stay with him. Something came up that totally squashed all attraction I had for him: he did not shower, shave, or change his clothes for AT LEAST 4 days - possibly longer, because I don't know if he showered before he picked me up at the airport. Day after day, we visited friends, his clothes becoming visibly dirty, and he looked like a slob. I did not say anything to him, but made up excuses to not sleep with him because I couldn't stand the thought of him...I was actually ashamed to be with him on Day #4 as we accepted another social invitation - he looked like a homeless man. I'm back home now, and we talk every day (because he wants to), but I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him. Do I fade away (hurting him), or tell him about his hygiene, and definitely hurt his feelings? As guys, what would you want to hear?