girl opinion

[alinzalau]

long story short, me and my best friend we had sex about...4 months ago. and i started to fall for her, we used to live together she was in a relationship, and this happened after they broke up. in one night it just happen, then a few more times until i put an end to this because i started to mix emotions in this. eventually i moved out, we still talk see go shopping etc. the things is she got a bf and she is always complaining about him on the phone.well, a week ago we met and i actually felt the need to tell her that after what happened i cant just see her as a friend anymore. we havent talk last week at all. then yesterday sunday, we talked for a few minutes, and literally today i had to call in from work being really sick. since i was up allready i went to the dinner where si works and had breakfast. we talked like nothing happened etc. she introduced me to her boss, here is my best friend bal bla...and i just dont know what to do...we will ever be together? i actually can say that i am next to her and support her since i know her, emotionally and with other things like helping her at the second job, school, basically im there...and she knows that...i just dont think i can go back to be platonic friends with her, also i dont wanna lose her as my best friend...because she is. i mean we know stuff about each other that i find creepy sometimes :| some advice would pe appreciated. thank you!

[searock]

I don't get it. You broke up with her because you started to "mix emotions" - what exactly do you mean by that? Are you in love with her, do you want to get back together with her now?

[alinzalau]

well i cant really say we where together...only the 2 of us know what happened. the sex was, u know awesome, and i freaked out because i started to like her more than just that, and plus because of the fight between she and the bf, i didnt really wanted to involve with her...mostly i think because i was thinking what our friends will say...but now i realize that i actually care about her, like really care. i dunno i just dont make sense at all...sorry

[smackie9]

Why didn't you have an adult conversation with her about it in the first place instead of just cutting her off and moving out? You probably confused her so she gave up on you or you missed out on FWB. Since then you are stuck in the friends zone, and well there isn't much of a chance to get out of it. I understand that what you are really looking for is a GF that is emotionally tied to you....stop wasting your time hoping for something to happen with this girl, you are only fooling yourself, and I'm pretty sure you know this in your gut. You are probably here in looking for someone to tell you otherwise like most do. But I don't blow sunshine up peoples asses so I'm gonna tell you straight...distance yourself from her emotionally, and stop spending all your time with her, because you are denying yourself of other opportunities to meet someone that truly wants an intimate relationship with you. She is using you as her emotional tampon, when things get s hitty with her BF.....stop being a fool.

And yes I'm a girl.

[alinzalau]

well we had that conversation...kind of i think, were she told me something like " what happened between us was fun, but at this time i just want to have fun, live it up and been broken twice by two guys is hard for me trust someone else and maybe ill be sorry later but this is the way it is " something along this lines...i called of sick today because i really am and i am spending time trying to convince myself that maybe eventually....she would be with me? what if she calls me with some help around the house or i dunno what else...im not the type to turn down a person if i can help, but i know she will get upset...some how. BTW, my last break up happened in dec 2009 with my almost 5 yrs GF which i was gonna propose eventually...so i was hurt obviously and until this thing happened between me and her, i only had girls for...fun...and i just dont know why she strucked me so hard...never been in this position before...

[smackie9]

Dude she said what she said....she wanted a FWB, because since you were so emotionally close and she trusted you, what better person to "just" have sex with, with no strings attached. Girls can be emotionally attached without even looking at you as BF material, which in this case this is what has happened. Sorry but it is what it is, you can't always get what you want, even if you are in love and think you are the best for her, "this" is not going to happen, stop trying to convince yourself that it will.....If she so desired you we wouldn't be having this conversation.