is this going to be a mistake '=(

[Hookahmike]

I'm moving from abq nm to portland or in about 6 months, I'm also in love with my best friend. I want to tell her a lot of things but this is the shortest verson of what I want to tell her "I'm moving to portland , if u asked me id stay but if you do ask you need to be damn sure what I am to you. If you find that I mean more to you then a friend then ill stay for the next 4 or 5 years and moving to ny state. If you find that I'm just your friend then that will be enough for me to pospone my trip atleast a year" she's been acting really odd with me lately like she liked me. I really do want to move but an ultimadum like this is just the kick in the ass she needs to figure out what she feels, also if I do stay I need a reason which I don't have now

[Hookahmike]

And if u want to know im moving to go to a culinary school in hyde park

[bulrush]

Don't make it sound like she can manipulate you. Just ask her how serious she is about you, like would she want to get engaged. If her answer is "yes" that means she wants you to stay around. Usually I support direct communication but your wording made you sound desperate, and opens the door to girls manipulating you, even when they aren't sure what they want.

[tremolo]

Yeah, you should definitely not tell her that you'll stick around if she just wants to be your friend. Sit her down and tell her you're planning to move to Portland, but you feel conflicted because you have feelings for her and don't want to leave her. Tell her you'd like to be more than friends with her, and that, if she feels the same way, you'd be willing to stay for her so you can pursue the relationship. Make it clear, as Bulrush said, that you are serious and you would only change your plans if she is equally serious about you. If she isn't interested in more than a friendship, or if she seems unsure, then drop the issue. Don't pout or sulk or try to convince her... and don't let her talk you into staying if you sense that she is anything less than completely thrilled at your gesture.

You should be aware that if you've only ever been friends, she may be blindsided by this and it may not go well for you. Has she ever given any indication that she has romantic feelings for you?

[girl68]

this is definitely a mistake.

[oldskool83]

kinda seems like your giving her a blunt kick in the face with this. why dont you just tell her how you feel and at the end of it say your planing on moving also but wanted to get this out in the air. your approach seems too forcefull.

[wanderlustboy]

I'm moving from abq nm to portland or in about 6 months, I'm also in love with my best friend. I want to tell her a lot of things but this is the shortest verson of what I want to tell her "I'm moving to portland , if u asked me id stay but if you do ask you need to be damn sure what I am to you. If you find that I mean more to you then a friend then ill stay for the next 4 or 5 years and moving to ny state. If you find that I'm just your friend then that will be enough for me to pospone my trip atleast a year" she's been acting really odd with me lately like she liked me. I really do want to move but an ultimadum like this is just the kick in the ass she needs to figure out what she feels, also if I do stay I need a reason which I don't have now

I'm not sure that's entirely advisable. If a close friend of mine was planning to move away, and then suddenly dropped a bombshell on me that they liked me and would stay if I asked them too, as long as I was in love with them, I would resent that I felt they were handing responsibility for their life onto me.

You have got six months to work things out; that should be enough time. Tell her how you feel now, and let things take their course. These things have to happen naturally.

[wanderlustboy]

kinda seems like your giving her a blunt kick in the face with this. why dont you just tell her how you feel and at the end of it say your planing on moving also but wanted to get this out in the air. your approach seems too forcefull.

Well put, oldskool.

[HeartIsAching]

I'm moving from abq nm to portland or in about 6 months, I'm also in love with my best friend. I want to tell her a lot of things but this is the shortest verson of what I want to tell her "I'm moving to portland , if u asked me id stay but if you do ask you need to be damn sure what I am to you. If you find that I mean more to you then a friend then ill stay for the next 4 or 5 years and moving to ny state. If you find that I'm just your friend then that will be enough for me to pospone my trip atleast a year" she's been acting really odd with me lately like she liked me. I really do want to move but an ultimadum like this is just the kick in the ass she needs to figure out what she feels, also if I do stay I need a reason which I don't have now

That's some manipulative BS right there.

If you have feelings for her, just tell her so. Tell her you're moving to P-Town in the same conversation, and DON'T leave it 'til the last minute. That'll give her time to decide what SHE wants to do about it, without you trying to push her into doing what YOU want.