So I found out a couple of days ago that my ex from a long time ago, the guy who completely and utterly broke my heart, got married. It was not a surprise since when we dated he was apparently not over her and for years I once in a while though of how their wedding/engagement would look like.
I am currently in my late 20's and I have less than a year working on a contract abroad and then I am due back home. For as long as I can remember I did not want to get married until I was over 30. I wanted to be very independent and live the amazing single life, traveling, meeting new people, and trying new things. I always planned on enjoying life before I had to settle down. The break-up took a lot of my happiness and dreams away from me. It hit my self esteem really low and I felt like he dumped all of his emotional baggage (he could be very cruel with his comments towards me).
I know that we were not good together and I eventually got my own closure. I really had no interest in being friends with him after the break-up and for a very long time all I wanted was to hurt him as much as he hurt me. And now that he is married, I just want to marry a better and nicer guy than him (I have a great bf BTW), I want a much grander wedding and nicer engagement pictures. ( I know this stuff is quite stupid), but when we were together he would always compete with me over who had nicer car, electronics (even though I did not care about that), I sort of feel like maybe this is the only way that I can get closure. I am mad, I'm mad that someone so shallow and selfish as him ( and believe me he was) got married before me.
Sorry I know it sounds stupid, but I want to stop competing, etc. and I just can't :/
Please help.