My GF Wants To Leave Me But We're Still In Love

[Chuck_1983]

First off I've been with my GF for about 1yr 10months and started off as friends at the beginning for 6 months. We do have a special connection with each other.
We decided to move in together to be closer and not feel the distance we experienced when we were living separately. However, there was a time when she respected my personal property such as not spying on me by checking my phone or computer etc. Nowadays she goes behind my back checking everything, for example when were living away from each other I stayed at hers for a weekend and when I was asleep. She took my phone and started looking at my convos in text messages, calls made and facebook. When I woke up she got upset and looked like a person who was on the defense she changed! We argued about her sneaking through my stuff and she argued about who was this girl on my phone. Straight away I have an answer for that, a female friend I met a year ago (just friends nothing more). After many conflicts, not seeing each other for a while and doing our own thing we get together again. Speed up to the current day, she kept doing the same thing on and off, so this time she thinks she's discovered something threatening, like photos of a couple girls in a party. Again these girls I'm affiliated with and a fan of, because not only are these girls friends but they are musicians too!! My girl thinks otherwise becomes irate about it and then threatens to leave me. Since that moments after many attempts of sneaking behind my back and playing detective, I decided to password my phone and computer. Actually, this made it worst, because now when she wanted to check my stuff she couldn't and started to act all paranoid again! This time she been sending my emails of flats she looking at, not talking to me like we used to and having fun etc. Its as if this girls thinks I'm cheating on her or thinks that she's not the only girl in the world for me (excuse the rhianna quote). First of I am a decent guy who has self-respect and principles that I live by. One of which is I am devoted to my girlfriend or who ever I am with at the time. I mean i will never get emotional/physical with another woman unless I'm single. That's just how I roll!!

I would like to know whether any guy out there has been through a similar situation before?

I'm not in mental place where I can just drop her and move on, because I still love her very much and I do think the world of her.

Ps:

There are other underlying factors in our relationship such as:

She has work depression, hates her job
Complaints about not making enough money
Trust issues are a problem
She's paranoid
She loses her temper very easily and gets really aggressive
She makes a lot of pointless ultimatums

[Boisdevie]

I had a girlfriend once who was impossible. She got dumped. Get the message?

[celestina]

If you love her and think that she is worth it, reassure her as much as she needs it. If that's too much to ask, then, there's the advice above.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Drop her and move on. This is the type of girl that will come running back in a heartbeat if you show her you are fine without this relationship(even if secretly, you're not.)

[Wakeup]

Why do you even discuss this with her? You've locked your stuff so she can't get into it. You've discussed your relationship has value to you and that you don't cheat. If you're not displaying any shady/sketchy behaviour.. like meeting your "friend" for one-on-one date like outings then just do not allow the conversation to take place. Don't even bring it up again and if she does, simply tell her that you're not having this discussion again and that it is up to her to learn to trust you and if she can't, well then she has a decision to make but you'll not allow her to make you suffer because of her paranoia a minute longer.

If she doesn't stop then you leave her. It's as simple as that but right now you're allowing her to blackmail you while you enable her to be insecure and paranoid. Lots of people leave people they love everyday when they get a lightbulb moment that you are inherently incompatible or you are an addict (for instance) and it's in the other persons best interests to love themselves enough to leave rather than stay and suffer the bs.

You know it's okay to tell a woman 'NO' If she leaves just because you do well then, pfffft. She's just fluff anyway. (if you're legit and she's just being a princess of course)

She has work depression, hates her job
Complaints about not making enough money
Trust issues are a problem
She's paranoid
She loses her temper very easily and gets really aggressive
She makes a lot of pointless ultimatums

Sorry, but she doesn't sound like much of a keeper anyway.