Should I just forget him or keep hoping that he will come back?

[tifftje2812]

Okay I will post here if the 'no contact' part gets hard.. I'll try to stick with it for 3 weeks. I know he really loved me because all his friends and even his parents told me he never treated any other girl like me. That's what makes it even harder. He is being stubborn, he told me that himself. He got hurt in the past by his ex, and he doesn't want that again. He always said how perfect I was for him, that he loved me so much! That he wants his future with me, we even talked about living together in the futureAll his friends told me how much he loved me... How he never talked about any girl like about me. He had a rough past, almost died in an accident, lost people because of that, even almost his parents.. And he says he can't be with someone who hurt him, that he's so afraid... But I know he still loves me. It's hard.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Three weeks isn't enough time. Go for at least 3 months.


Who are we kidding. You won't make it 3 weeks.

[Maple1714]

You guys are just young....life is hard. There will be a lot of scary shit that happens to you throughout life. Maybe your ex can get over his fears and have a relationship eventually? You have to give him space. Nothing will make him run away faster than you closing in on him.

[amy37]

It sounds like you touched a sensitive area over whatever you said to him when you had that big fight. Looks like you may have stumbled over some baggage of his,...try to think about what you said specifically that fight, and how it could be baggage to him.

Other than that, he really doesn't sound like the kind of guy who can sustain a relationship. 1) he sounds really emotional. 2) It concerns me how he can fall in and out of love so easily. 3) he doesn't know how to resolve fights in a relationship, or even put in the effort to do so. Which are bound to happen in any relationship.

I think he's disillusional if he's not will to communicate and resolve arguments that happen in a love relationship.

Best to just move on and find a stronger man. It's just like Sheryl Crow said, "are you strong enough to be my man."

Best of Wishes tifftje, you'll find someone who can love you better.

[Valixy]

Most men are super loving and passionate in the first three months of the relationship and even longer but many times that's not who they really are, that is simply the first stage of the romance when they are falling in love with a new girl. Just give them some time and many might show selfishness, indifference, tendency to infidelity, etc. What I am trying to say is that is you are longing for and missing like crazy a man that you don't really know yet, even if you think you do. At the beginning they are all great at looking deeply into your eyes, holding your hands, sending you I love you texts one after another one and showing you so much love that you are absolutely sure that he couldn't have done that before meeting you or that he could never do that again to anyone else. The truth is that you are special, what you two had is special but not unique, and chances are he did that before and he might be able to express similar passion again if given the circumstances.


There are people who can grow through conflict in a relationship and others who can't stand too much emotional display. I think that you can handle some emotional heat while he is very sensitive towards his harmony and this means that he is not an easy partner, even if a charming one. Maybe he was indeed put off by that fight, it happens, but if he really loves you like you think and he made you believe he did, this will be temporary and he will come back to you, especially because you have apologised so much and showed him that you loved him and that you are ready to understand him. If he really is the wonderful guy you think he is, he will be able to appreciate this and give you two a second chance. True love means being able to forgive too.

Just because he was wonderfully passionate and caring to you for three months, it doesn't mean that he totally loved you or that he was the right one for you. Someone who really loves you is able to forgive you when you go wrong and apologises like you did. By the way, all you did was asking for some private time with him when you really needed him and after three days of friends and games. Maybe the form you chose was not the best but he also failed to understand how important it was for you to have his undivided attention in certain moments. Let's hope he'll realise that you didn't do this because you were clingy or controlling, but simply because you were deeply in love with him and needed to connect with him at a more intimate level in order to feel that hapinness and comfort that you two can generate together. So he also needs to learn something very important about you!

A lot of attention from you now, when is he is unsure of his feelings or he doesn't feel the love anymore will push him away. I agree with the others that you need to be strong, not contact him and trust that if he really loved you, he will come back to you and try to have a real relationship which means inevitably facing together some ups and downs and having the willingness to make things work. This is a test that will show you the truth.

[tifftje2812]

Thank you valixy, your comment shows me that you really understand me and see that I'm not a psycho clinger or anything..
This is the most honest, helping comment so far.
I'm sticking with the no contact and I hope he will miss me.

[IndiReloaded]

Think of this as your first real test. It's one thing to say you are 'so in love', it's another to live it. Sounds like you screwed up, but if there was really love b/t you then your outburst wouldn't be enough to destroy it. Give it time as everyone has said. You can't hold onto love but lightly.

[tifftje2812]

Yes I will see it as a test... It's day 4 of no contact, and it's hard but I believe it's for the best. I know he's stubborn, but he really cares so I'll just give him time. And it's not just about what he said to me, it's all the things he did for me. I don't believe he faked that. I have beautiful pictures from 2 days before he dumped me, and if you look at his body language, you see how in love he really is... I look at these pictures from time to time, they give me hope .

[tifftje2812]

Another thing that gives me hope: he got into a fight with a good friend when we were together. At first he wanted nothing to do with him anymore because he was mad and stubborn. But then he cried in front of me for his friend, that he missed him. And when he started to think about the good times, he started taking contact and trying to meet and talk everything out again.
I think that that's a good sign for how he handles fights... It just takes time for him.

[lamobatsman]

its different when its a friend. trust me. you;re just a girl he doesnt really care about or think its worth fighting for

[tifftje2812]

Thanks for the support..

[tifftje2812]

People who think positive about this situation to?

[Valixy]

I agree with you. The way people handle other relationships can be a good indicator of how they will handle the one they have with you.

I think you're right to continue with no contact. You apologised and showed him how much you love him. It's his turn now and you can't make this move for him. Hopefully he'll find the love and again and contact you soon. He also has something to prove here. Be strong!

[lamobatsman]

I agree with you. The way people handle other relationships can be a good indicator of how they will handle the one they have with you.

I think you're right to continue with no contact. You apologised and showed him how much you love him. It's his turn now and you can't make this move for him. Hopefully he'll find the love and again and contact you soon. He also has something to prove here. Be strong!

no thats not necessarily true

[tifftje2812]

Ffff I just want him back. This sucks really bad! And most of all the fact that I can't say or do anything...