Should I just forget him or keep hoping that he will come back?

[tifftje2812]

Hi,
My boyfriend and me were together for 3 months. We were madly in love! He introduced me to his family and his friends. He always said how much he loved me, he wanted to be with me all the time, we did so much together. We were very passionate and caring. He was just everything I needed. I couldn't say one thing bad about him. He got along with my family and friends, I got along with his. We laughed together, told each other secrets,... Every single one of his friends told me that he truly loved me and how proud he was to be my man. Everything was so great! We cuddled all the time, the sex was great, everything was really great. Then one day we had a fight.. I was not feeling really well, I had things on my mind, I wanted to be with him and have a cosy night together. And he just didn't listen and did what he wanted and said he wanted to go to play pool with a male friend of his. I just didn't like it and I got mad at him. I yelled that I wanted him to care if I didn't want him to do something. And not just do it. That I felt like he didn't put me in first place. And I started crying... It was quite a big fight and I went home. I immediately sent him a message to tell him how sorry I was. That I overreacted, that I just loved him so much that I want to be with him as much as possible. He didn't react. The next day he sent I should leave him alone for a while. That night he dumped me by text. I was so devastaded. I didnt' understand how he could do this to me. How he could let everything go for one fight. I tried to call him, text him, but he ignored me. I texted him to tell him how sorry I was, that I overreacted, that he didn't deserve that, that I would give him space to go out more with friends if he wanted to. That I really loved him and that I was willing to fight for him. He sent me that he still cares about me a lot but that I hurt him really much with what I said to him. He told me that he has always tried his best for me and did everything he could. That he couldn't forgive me, that the spark was gone in a second. He told me that he would always be there for me, that he cares a lot, that he would stand up for me if something ever happened with me, but that he couldn't be my boyfriend anymore. It was so hard for me, I couldn't believe it. I tried to convince him that I didn't mean a word I said, that I was so sorry, that I just was frustrated a moment, that it wouldn't happen again. I sent him really sweet text messages and everything. Nothing worked. He just sent that he would come to pick up his stuff the week after. I didn't know what to do. I just put my phone off for two days because I couldn't handle it anymore... Than when I put it back on, I had only 3 messages of him. All about that he wanted to come pick up his stuff. I sent him back that it was ok and if he was still mad at me. If he wanted to talk to me. He replied that he wasn't mad anymore, that we could talk. But that he just was feeling frustrated because they found something wrong with his back. He might lose his work, and it's possible he can never play soccer again. So I called him because I was really worried about him. And he told me everything what happened and poored his heart out about how bad he was feeling. The next day I went to his house to bring his stuff. At first we just talked about his well-being, what the doctors said.. We talked like friends. But then I started crying. It hurt me to look at him and feel he wasn't mine anymore. I wrote him a letter and gave it to him. He read it and told me how strong of a girl I am to write him such personal, honest letter. He held me and told me that I shouldn't be afraid. That I wasn't going to lose him. That he still cared for me so much! And that he still has feelings for me but was not capable of being together of me anymore. Then I had to go, and I started crying so much, we cuddled each other and I told him that I was gonna miss him so much.. Then when I wanted to leave on my bicycle, he said he wouldn't let me go like that, he saw that I was really devastated. So he took a bicycle and went with me so I wouldn't have to go alone when feeling like this.. When we arrived he said he wanted to see me smile, that I wasn't going to lose him, that he still cared. Because I hadn't eaten really much the days before, I started to feel dizzy from the long bike ride. And he saw that I wasn't feeling well. So he took me inside a pub to give me something to drink, he kept putting his hands on my knees and kept asking if I felt ok. He was so worried about me. He took my cell and called my dad so I could go rest at home, then he called my work to let them know I wasn't feeling good. He waited with me until my dad arrived and said that I had to call him to let him know if everything was ok with me. I called him that night and he was glad that I was feeling okay. Then I sent him a message that I respect his choice. That I still love him, but I understand I overreacted, that I'm thankful for the beautiful memories. I left him alone for the next two days. then a day later I called him to know if he was feeling okay. We talked a bit and he was very sweet. He was interested in how I was doing, in what I did. I just know that he still really cares.. The next day we chatted a bit on facebook and he acted very sweet and funny, like I'm his best friend.. That he still wants to see my family and me. But everytime I heard him, it just hurt so much to know that we weren't together anymore. So I told him that it hurt to much to act like nothing happened, that I still love him to much. That I can't be just friends with him. And that I need time and space from him to move on... I know he really loved me and possibly still does. But I can't do this anymore. I decided to go no contact 3 weeks. What do you think about this? Will I get him back? Will he miss me? It's just so hard to let him go!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Continue the no contact until he comes back and says he wants a relationship. If he doesn't want that, tell him not to speak to you anymore.

You sound crazy as hell, and if you're acting like this after 3 months, I can't imagine that he would realistically consider taking you back. You're a needy, clingy psycho, and that's not something you can just shut off, so you're going to be prone to more outbursts and rage fits. You are an omega level clinger. You need to find some hobbies and something to do with your life, so you're not so dependent on someone else to entertain you.

[tifftje2812]

I'm not like that at all... I let him be alone with his friends during the relationship. I had a lot of time I had to work and couldn't reply to his texts or see him. went out alone with my friends. If I was just a psycho he wouldn't have loved me so much and wanted to see me so much. I never sent more than one text at a time, and if he didn't reply I just waited. I think psycho is something else... I just love him. And in the time after the breakup, I just sent him a lot of messages the first day. Then I left him alone as much as possible. I'm working a lot, I'm spending my weekends going out with friends. I think someone who says that I'm a psycho for loving someone and fighting for him doesn't know or understand me at all.

[tifftje2812]

I have a lot of friends by the way. I think it's just normal if you really have fallen in love with somebody, and they're just gone in a second.. That you want to fight to get him back. Certainly if he still cares so much!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think you're a psycho because you think you're so deeply in love with someone you dated for 3 months. Clearly it wasn't that great if he doesn't even want to give it a chance after your fight. You probably took this much more seriously than he did from the beginning, and from what you wrote, you contacted him quite a bit after he ended things.

I don't know you at all. I'm a stranger from the interwebz, but I do know the archetype that you fit. I'm just calling it as I see it, and I've dated a few chicks that "fell in love" with me within a couple weeks or months, and they were all crazy. Most of them were cool, but they all had a complete psycho side, and when I saw that, I pretty much dropped them. Be glad he was up front with you. He also doesn't care that much, he just doesn't want to hurt you feelings because you are so sensitive and have such little control over your emotions.

I never said you don't have friends. You certainly seem like a nice person, I just meant you should occupy yourself so you don't spend so much energy thinking about him.

[tifftje2812]

Okay if that's what you think. I'll just never contact him again then.

[lamobatsman]

harsh from u backuporgetstng. shes not pyscho pfft. shes crazy about him. and how can u say she has no hobbies etx. u dknt know her. 3 months is irrelevant so wat u say is rubbish.

hes a dick for treating u like crap. u didnt do anytjing rong. he was just looking for an ezxuse to dump u

[tifftje2812]

The only thing that bothers me is that every thing was going so great and then he dumped me for one mistake. That's why I think about it so much. We had planned things for months later in the future . The days before he told me how much he really loved me. He always kept sending me if I didn't reply. Not the other way around.. He always said "I love you" first. That's what bothers me. I have a life, but heartbreak still hurts. Think that's human.

[lamobatsman]

and its natural to contact him a lot after it ended. ucant read too much into that in particular

[lamobatsman]

listen u done nothing rong. u reli liked him. i know how u feel. dont listenbto back up but i think hes right no contact

[tifftje2812]

And if you would have seen how he treated me, how he looked at me, how he held me and how we made love. Even a day before it was over. You would understand me. I have dated assholes before and when they dumped me I knew they just didn't care. I'm not stupid or blind or something... But this one really loved me. He's a good guy. He's been hurt a lot in the past. And he said he can't keep me this close because I hurt his feelings. But he had tears in his eyes when I left, I just know when someone loves me or not. That's why I keep fighting. Because I know what we had was real. Even if it was just 3 months. I'm only the second girl he has ever brought home.. even his parents and friends said how much he loved me. That he treated me like he never treated any other girl. So is it psycho to keep hoping then?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It's not psycho to hope. It would be psycho to pursue it.

I've had girls say the same things to me that you have after breaking things off with them. Talking about the way I cook would for them, and held them and made love, and looked in their eyes, blah, blah, blah. I did realize I have to be careful with the sappy shit, because apparently girls will catch feelings really quickly these days. I never told any of them I loved them, so that is different.

[tifftje2812]

I'm just hoping for him, but I'm not chasing him. I said I still care and everything. That I respect his choice. And then I called him once because I knew something was wrong and I wanted to know if he is ok. He talked to me in a very sweet tone, cared how I was doing to. But I leave him alone as much as possible and I don't text him anymore. I'm giving him time and space. That psycho thing was just a first reaction of panic, but I haven't been doing that since 4 days or so after the breakup. I've been rational and respectful and sweet and caring about him. I notice that he really appreciates that. He still wants to be my best friend and doesn't want to lose me so I don't think I ruined it by my first reaction. Now I'm just being calm and friendly and leaving him alone as much as possible. And he has had a lot of flings. But I was only the second girl he brought home and told so much that he loved me. The only thing I really wanted to know... If I use no contact instead of being there for him as his best friend, will he miss me and maybe want me back?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

No contact will definitely give you a better chance of getting him back. Right now he knows he's got you, and can have you back anytime he wants. Take that security away from him and he may want you back now or later, but at least you'll already be in a better place mentally, and hopefully will be more prepared if he does come back or you meet someone else.

[tifftje2812]

Yes I'm focusing on my work, I go out with friends a lot. I got a new haircut. I'm working on myself and I spent as much time as possible not thinking about him. And it helps if I'm working or with friends. It's just that when I am alone at home, I start thinking. And then I realize how much I still love him and that he's such a good guy. And then I start missing him. I don't contact him, but it feels good to talk to strangers about this. That's why I posted this. To keep myself from contacting him when I have this moments I really really miss him.