Girlfriend may of just had her first orgasm with me?

[Simpo]

So basically me and my girlfriend had a small fight which lead to some make up sex and we were getting really into it when she started to roll her eyes and let out a quivering quiet moan (her flat mates were at home so had to be quiet) she pretty much stopped there and then and just layed on top of me and basically said wow. This had never really happened before and she told me that she had never experienced an orgasm like that before but unsure if she meant with me or in general. We have been together for about 6 months now and this has never happened so I have this feeling that she has been faking all this time. I was a virgin before I met her so I wasn't expecting to be instantly good at sex. She has had previous partners but haven't really brought up sex with them.

I asked her if this was her first orgasm she has had with me and she said that no it was just a really intenese one the other times have just been smaller orgasms. Do you think she is lying and trying to protect my manly hood or can women have small orgasms?

[michelle23]

That depends.

When she had her "small orgasms" how did she act during and straight after?

When she cums you should be able to feel it. The vaginal muscles clench in and out between 5-10 times. Its like a pulse. Also her pupils should dilate (get smaller) and she should have a dopey kinda look on her face (smiley), she should also be fairly relaxed and just want to lie there and not move for a minute or two kinda dazed and it should also make her be affectionate towards you-more cuddly and kissing etc. The skin around the face and neck should be a little flushed (pink-sort of like a small rash), her heart rate would speed up and her breathing would be faster and she should tense up just before orgasm. She should also be fairly wet. And the clit gets sensitive just after orgasm so she should pull away a little and not want direct contact. She should also slow down on the brink of orgasm.

Look dont even worry if she has been faking all along. You can do something about it now. Make sure you give her tons of foreplay-aim to make her orgasm before sex. Oral is probably the easiest way to achieve that. Ask what she likes and if there's anything else shed like you to do. Tell her if she doesn't cum before of during sex to just let you know and youll finish her off afterwards with your hand or something.

Communication is important and it takes time so dont beat yourself up about it. Just ask her to be honest in future and tell her you wont be upset. If she has been faking-its only because she cares and doesnt want you to feel bad but then she misses out which is unfair to her.

The best thing you could do is just bring it up casually over a cup of coffee. Tell her you want her to be a little more open with you so you can figure out what she likes and satisfy her every time and just tell her to tell you in future if she doesn't cum

heres some tips:

oral: http://ie.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/36_love_tip.html
foreplay: http://ie.askmen.com/dating/love_tip/sextip18.html
orgasm: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-relationships/anatomy-of-an-orgasm?page=1

There are different types of orgasms so she may have been telling the truth. The clit orgasm is fairly boring compared to g-spot for example. The g-spot is far more intense and if she has one of those-nothing else will be enough to satisfy her after that. Work on figuring out the basics first and when you have perfected that-you can move onto making her orgasms more intense.

http://monicasbox.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/11-different-types-of-orgasms/

[Simpo]

Very much appreciate the info, I would say the makeup sex that we had did include a lot more foreplay and I did finger her and make her cum before we actually had sex which I have only done on a couple of occasions which I believe was one of the main reasons behind her orgasming properly. I am still fairly new to sex so I know I need to work on some things but my girlfriend always seems to stick close to home by doing similar things each time and always includes her being on top since it is like our default / main position. She does say that she orgasms most of the time we have sex but I don't feel I have after seeing her orgasm this time. Maybe I have given her clit orgasms but not g-spot ones or something.

I have spoke to her a couple of times telling her to tell me if she did or didn't orgasm since I wear a condom I can't really feel as much, if you know what I mean (I understand you are female and probably don't understand this feeling). She has said to me a few times now things like, do you feel that or similar do you feel things but tbh I don't know what she is on about but I just kind of agree and say yea I feel how wet she is and lie but I think she may be referring to these clenches / pulses but I cant really feel them, even when she properly orgasmed I couldn't feel it but I 100% know she did the last time we had sex so I should of felt it but didn't.

There is a slight issue just now where she really doesn't like me going down on her since she had warts not too long ago and doesn't want me down there but they are gone now but she still won't let me even though I would happily give her oral. By what you have said I believe I have been giving her orgasms but only clit orgasms and/or every so often we have sex she says I hit her deep spot?

[vashti]

It is virtually impossible for a male to know if a woman orgasms or not, and even though some people differentiate between vaginal and clitoral orgasms, they are physiologically the same. Do not pressure her into doing it one way or the other; it will only make her self-conscious.

If she is relatively inexperienced at sex, she very possibly didn't KNOW whether she was having an orgasm or not. Sex feels really nice, with or without the orgasm, and a lot of females who haven't experienced an orgasm do not know what one feels like, so they assume they have had one (when in all likelihood, they have not). Once you have had one, there is no mistaking it.

In answer to your questions,

Do you think she is lying and trying to protect my manly hood or can women have small orgasms?

1) probably (considering your inexperience)
2) yes

[Simpo]

If she is relatively inexperienced at sex, she very possibly didn't KNOW whether she was having an orgasm or not. Sex feels really nice, with or without the orgasm, and a lot of females who haven't experienced an orgasm do not know what one feels like, so they assume they have had one (when in all likelihood, they have not). Once you have had one, there is no mistaking it.

She is quite experienced in the sex department due to having previous partners and multiple one night stands so I would say that she should know what an orgasm feels like but she did seem a bit shocked and surprised by it. She did say that she hadn't felt an orgasm like that before but not sure if she meant with me or ever. I will hopefully talk to her about it today or tomorrow, this may sound strange but I kind of like talking about sex with her and other people tbh. Probably just because I'm new to it and its a whole new world for me to explore

Note: I am 19 and she is 20, when would you say females have their first intense orgasm, real orgasm, g-spot orgasm ?

[michelle23]

I had my first clit orgasm years ago (prob age 12-13) and find it very easy to cum. This is the most common type of orgasm and I have never had any difficulty reaching orgasm with my bf. When we were together about 3 years-we started experimenting a bit more coz I wanted to find out what it was like to squirt. It took over 6 months to figure it out properly but now I have g-spot orgasms all the time.

Dont put pressure on yourself though to achieve that. Just focus on the clit stimulation now and lots of foreplay, nipple play etc for like 10-15minutes before sex to get her really warmed up. Once you have perfected this, you can start exploring other things.

[vashti]

1) There is no medical evidence to support the existence of a "g spot", and you won't find it in any physiology book. Stop worrying about THAT when the clitoris is more of a sure thing.

2) Lots of women do not have orgasms at all, especially when engaging in intercourse alone.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/sex-study-female-orgasm-eludes-majority-women/story?id=8485289#.UZpqOuDFXR0

3) Just because a girl has been sexually active doesn't mean she knows what she is doing, or even enjoys it. It just means she uses her body to gain male attention.

[smackie9]

So basically me and my girlfriend had a small fight which lead to some make up sex and we were getting really into it when she started to roll her eyes and let out a quivering quiet moan (her flat mates were at home so had to be quiet) she pretty much stopped there and then and just layed on top of me and basically said wow. This had never really happened before and she told me that she had never experienced an orgasm like that before but unsure if she meant with me or in general. We have been together for about 6 months now and this has never happened so I have this feeling that she has been faking all this time. I was a virgin before I met her so I wasn't expecting to be instantly good at sex. She has had previous partners but haven't really brought up sex with them.

I asked her if this was her first orgasm she has had with me and she said that no it was just a really intenese one the other times have just been smaller orgasms. Do you think she is lying and trying to protect my manly hood or can women have small orgasms?

She is telling the truth, and I say she is talking in general....not all orgasms are the same btw. Some can be more intense than others for sure. Since she was on top (I'm assuming she was if she was laying on top of you) she had more control over where it stimulates her best. So it was more on her end that gave her the intense orgasm. If she fakes orgasms then it's her loss, not yours, and you shouldn't be wasting your time with someone like that.

[smackie9]

Since you are new to this stuff you are best to communicate with her better than you have been. She has experience, take advantage of that....ask, listen and learn.

[michelle23]

i dont care whether there is medical evidence or not to back it up coz i have experienced it so i know it exists but i agree that the OP should just focus on the clit for now.

also just because ome women find it difficult to reach orgasm-it doesnt give men permission to be lazy in bed. just coz the experts say "dont worry if she doesnt cum coz lots of women dont" doesnt mean he shouldnt make an effort.

if you cant make her cum 99% of the time, she will get bored, go off sex and eventually dump you so she can find someone who will make her moan.

OP dont listen to all that BS and medical research. your gf wants orgasms and she expects you to give them to her so keep trying mate.

good luck

[Simpo]

Well we had our 6 month anniversary yesterday and we had a really special night together and had an amazing time with foreplay and whippy cream. After a lot of fooling around licking cream off each other and doing other things, I fingered her to till she orgasmed (I could tell this time because I could feel the pulses and my fingers get slightly crushed) and then I continued to finger her so she was close to another one before I entered her but sadly I wasn't 100% hard so she had to perform some oral which kind of killed the build up. So once I was fully hard, I put on a vibrating cock ring (special occasion, never used one before but she very much enjoyed but didn't enjoy it much personally) and she climbed on top and we went at it for a while and she said she came really close twice but didn't want it to end so slowed down.

She then told me to go hard so I did and I could tell she was really enjoying it but sadly with the vibrations I couldn't tell that I was close to cumming and unfortunately couldn't stop myself in time. Sadly she didn't orgasm like last time and kind of disappointed in myself since she had spent a lot of time on candles, cream etc. We were at it for a good 40 minutes but annoyed that I didn't make it as good as last time.

I'm the sort of person that wouldn't mind if she cummed first and was too tired to continue but she never seems to let herself. I feel it is easier for me to get off since I can either finish off myself, ask for handjob or oral. I want her to orgasm first but don't know how to tell her its okay since she is always wanting to me have one too. As the saying goes nice guys finish last and tbh I want her to enjoy it more than me since lately I have realised that she hasn't been fully orgasming.

[michelle23]

ask her to try and cum before you do. My bf always wants me to cum first. He tries to hold off till I do. I can keep going after I cum but he cant so its always better if the girl cums first.

Dont worry if its not perfect every time. It doesnt have to be. Just have fun and enjoy. Also I have only came twice in one session once so dont worry if she doesnt cum a second or third time. Some girls cant. I get way too sensitive after one orgasm that it would literally hurt if he tried too soon to give me another one so dont worry about that.

[smackie9]

Go to a sex shop or purchase on line a dildo or a vibrator or some other toy to get her ready that way or use them to have her finish after....or let her reach orgasm with oral first. You don't have to orgasm together or from penetration.